The House on Beartown Road: A Memoir of Learning and Forgetting [Hardcover]

Elizabeth Cohen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1, 2003

In this beautiful book, Elizabeth Cohen gives us a true and moving portrait of the love and courage of a family.

Elizabeth, a member of the “sandwich generation”—people caught in the middle, simultaneously caring for their children and for their aging parents—is the mother of Ava and the daughter of Daddy, and responsible for both. Hers is the story of a woman’s struggle to keep her family whole, to raise her child in a house of laughter and love, and to keep her father from hiding the house keys in his slippers.

In this story full of everyday triumphs, first steps, and elderly confusion, Ava, a baby, finds each new picture, each new word, each new song, something to learn greedily, joyfully. Daddy is a man in his twilight years for whom time moves slowly and lessons are not learned but quietly, frustratingly forgotten. Elizabeth, a suddenly single mother with a career and a mortgage and a hamper of laundry, finds her world spiraling out of control yet full of beauty. Faced with mounting disasters, she chooses to confront life head-on.

Written in wonderful prose and imbued with an unquenchable spirit, The House on Beartown Road takes us on a journey through the remarkable landscape that is family.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In this moving yet unsentimental memoir, Cohen chronicles the year her aging father, Sanford, suffering from mid-to-late-stage Alzheimer's, came to live with her and her baby, Ava, in a New York State farmhouse. The three endure a cold winter, Ava's teething and the ravages of Alzheimer's. Sanford, a retired economics professor, retains his physical health while his mind deteriorates, a process Cohen-a Binghamton Press and Sun-Bulletin reporter-describes in detail and with compassion, even as he loses the ability to know her ("I am having something of a blackout. Perhaps you can remind me who you are?"). Ava learns to walk and talk while Sanford forgets how to climb stairs and struggles with his vocabulary (when he can't remember the word "water," he substitutes "the liquid substance from the spigot"). "Daddy walks around now this way, dropping pieces of language behind him, the baby following, picking them up." Naturally, life's difficult. Sanford misses his wife, who lives with Cohen's sister on the other side of the country; Cohen's husband abandons them early on and she struggles to find help from local social services. Even though "each day arches numerous times toward disaster," the trio survives, even thrives. Cohen takes pleasure in her daughter, outings in parks, friends' and neighbors' generosity and the "memory project"-her attempt to catalogue her father's stories from his childhood, war years in the Pacific and teaching career. With splashes of humor and occasional-and understandable-self-pity, Cohen's fluid prose lifts her forceful story to a higher level, making it a tribute to her father and her family.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

The publisher reports lots of early interest in the gentle tale of a woman caring for both her infant daughter and her father, who is afflicted with Alzheimer's.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Random House (April 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0375507272
• ISBN-13: 978-0375507274
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.6 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #584,215 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A family is a kind of poem, April 15, 2003

By 

bensmomma "bensmomma" (Ann Arbor, Michigan) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: The House on Beartown Road: A Memoir of Learning and Forgetting (Hardcover)

Single mom Elizabeth Cohen records her life as her toddler daughter grows up while her father descends into Alzheimers (and she has sole care of both of them). Cohen finds poetry rather than tragedy as her daughter and father cross paths: daughter Ava surging into consciousness, learning new words by the hour, father Sanford finally forgetting even his name.

I am overwhelmed by the truth of this poetry, because I am in a similar situation: my father-in-law was diagnosed with dementia a few months after my daughter's birth. As Dad has declined, my daughter has thrived. It is undeniably sad. Yet they are central to each other's worlds; even on days when Dad seems to know no one, you can tell he remembers G. You can tell she loves him and he loves her even though they can't speak.

A greater theme in Cohen's book is the power of community; her neighbors help her bear her burdens (chopping firewood, shoveling her driveway, watching Ava), just as she helps her father bear his. Thus, even if you are not directly touched by Alzheimer's or the like, this well-written and touching book is likely to resonate with you too.

May the world still be this way when we are older.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Page-Turner! Moving and Uplifting., May 19, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: The House on Beartown Road: A Memoir of Learning and Forgetting (Hardcover)

This book is an incredible, fast, fun read. It's heartfelt but often hilarious too. As Elizabeth Cohen manages her rapidly progressing infant and her rapidly regressing dad she tells an amazing story of human survival and will. She reminds us of the comforts of family, of poetry, of neighbors. What I love most about this book is how the author finds the good in a situation where most people would find only heartache. She reminds us of the beauty of everyday life, and of what's important. A celebration of family, parents, kids, of what it means to learn, to think, to be human. I don't usually like memoirs but I highly recommend this one. I've read it twice and couldn't put it down either time.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read for Every Member of the Sandwich Generation, April 11, 2003

By 

Ross A Perloe CLU, CSA, CLTC (Altanta, GA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The House on Beartown Road: A Memoir of Learning and Forgetting (Hardcover)

Every day in my work as a Long-Term Care Insurance Specialist I work with families as they try and develop a Strategy to deal with the the potential for a love one or themsleves needing long term care. In most cases until something happens to one's own family most people are in deniel. "It will happen to someone else but never to me or our family."

I always try to paint a picture for potential clients by using my own families experiences with needing care to make the issues more real. From now on I will just give them a copy of the book. It will do a much better job.

I read the "House On Beartown Road" in one sitting on a rainy Sunday with tears in my eyes as I finally understood how lucky my own family was to have had my mom as a fulltime caregiver to both sets of grandparents as well as my father over a period of years. People like Elizabeth Cohen and my mom are great examples of loving family members that did what needed to be done with grace, dignity and a sense of humor. I didn't understand or fully appreciate the concept of being a caregiver while running around in my on life and watching my mom from a distance but after reading the book I sure did!

I strongly suggest that every adult with aging parents read the book today as tomorrow may be to late. It will make you think in many different ways. For some reason I really think the author wrote the book to help the rest of us to be better prepared to deal with this growing national crisis of aging parents. Thanks to Ms. Cohen.

Th