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The Housewife Assassin's Killer Christmas Tips (a Funny Romantic Mystery) (Housewife Assassin Series Book 3) [Kindle Edition]

Josie Brown
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (99 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $3.99

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Book Description

Murder. Suspense. Sex. And some handy household tips.

"Josie Brown writes with all the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover...Truly entertaining reading." -- Jackie Collins


- TIS THE SEASON: For murder, mayhem, and missing missiles!

- HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN DONNA STONE'S MISSION: Stop a terrorist cell before it launches a heat-seeking missile at a plane landing in Los Angeles.

- AND NAUGHTY SANTA IS EVERYWHERE: It's hard to convince your child that Santa is so good, when everywhere you turn he's being very, very bad!

Read the excerpt here, or at

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap


"This is a super sex and fun read that you shouldn't miss!" - Mary Jacobs, Bookhounds Reviews

"It's a fast-paced read, and the gadgets are awesome...The perfect combination of mystery and humour." - Curled Up with a Good Book and a Cup of Tea

"...The chemistry between Donna and Jack is enough to set water on fire... A healthy dose of humor and ridiculousness in a book that won't be put down - so go pick it up now!" - Cat's Thoughts

If you love funny mysteries with savvy, sexy women sleuths, check out THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S GUIDE TO GRACIOUS KILLING!

From the Back Cover

Every desperate housewife wants an alias. Donna Stone has one, and it happens to be government-sanctions. But espionage makes for strange bedfellows, and brings new meaning to the old adage, "Honey, I'm home..."
On Donna's to-do list: First, exterminate a rogue operative out to assassinate the newly elected Russian President. Next: file for divorce!
'Tis the season for mistletoe...and murder! There will be no peace on Earth if Donna doesn't find a shipping container filled with heat-seeking missiles!
London. Paris. Guantánamo Bay. Donna Stone is looking for love -- and terrorists -- in all the wrong places. Breaking up is hard to do. Then again, so is dating a terrorist, let alone eleven of them! Does this make Donna a serial dater, or a serial killer? Worse yet,  an old flame gets in the way of Donna's chance for true love. But she doesn't cry. She gets even.
An NSA scientist has disappeared with a deadly plague virus. Donna and Jack must find him before it is unleashed on Fantasy island. But first they'll have to deal with a nude sunbathing serial killer, a Lord of the Flies 'tween takeover, poison dart-throwing pygmies, and a hunt club with the most unusual prey. And you call this a vacation?
Donna's executive mission is crystal clear: stop the assassinations of both US political parties' presidential candidates. But when she discovers she has a long-term vendetta with one of the targets, can she put aside her animosity long enough to save the candidate's life--and her relationship with Jack?
Lights, cameras and non-stop action await Donna and Jack when they are hired as espionage experts on a movie set. There will be plenty of close-ups, and too many close calls as they use the movie's many location shoots to track down crucial intel needed to take down the Quorum. But nothing--including a lascivious leading lady, deadly stunt doubles, or being on Interpol's Most Wanted list--will stand in their way.
In this full-length prequel to the series, Acme Industries' black-ops agent, Jack Craig, is tasked with investigating the mysterious death of his organization's most prolific hit man, Carl Stone--only to fall in love the the dead man's wife, Donna--a woman he must never contact, but who may hold the key to her husband's disappearance. When Acme approaches Donna to join their organization as an assassin, Jack's undercover mission changes both their lives forever.
In order to flush out an internationally renowned hacker who is wreaking havoc with top secret documents inside the United States' Intelligence Community's secured database, housewife assassin Donna Stone infiltrates three very successful high tech corporations, including one with an operating system that contains artificial intelligence designed to meet your every need--even if it kills you; another with a CEO who plans to broker the country's intelligence secrets to the highest bidder, be it a terrorist or enemy state; and an interactive game start-up with an avatar on the deadliest mission of all: kill Donna. Can she save the world from terror--and at the same time protect her children from the painful knowledge of the father who deserted them?

Product Details

  • File Size: 1049 KB
  • Print Length: 185 pages
  • Publisher: Signal Press (November 24, 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #20,156 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars wonderful December 23, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Love these books. They are so much fun to read. Cannot wait for the next book to come out. This author is awesome.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Completely addicting! December 19, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I absolutely love this series, I couldn't put it down once I started. I can't wait for the next book to come out!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny, relatable story!!! November 28, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Love the three of four books I've read by this author. Funny, makes you think twice, says what you only think of saying and the storyline keeps you glued to you kindle, iPad, whatever. Right up there with Janet evanovich and Shelly Fredman. Love it!!!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars fun, fun, fun! November 28, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
Josie Brown writes books that have a bit of an adventure, that are never predictable and are always fun! Brown writes with balance, humor and danger; good verses bad; light and dark. Her Housewife Assassin Series is a fun, crazy and wild ride! You will remain interested throughout the novels and left craving more. I recommend the series and rate it 4 stars!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great! July 8, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
These were a fun read, I enjoyed them very much - not too serious, can't wait for the next one!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun and entertaining! February 18, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Love this series! Quirky humor adds just the right mix to everyday life. What housewife or woman today doesn't wish they had more excitement in their day to day life?
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Can't wait fir the next book February 4, 2013
By Gonzo
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
It's a good continuation if the first book...Donna US still having trouble with the men in her life but she always has me interested as to what is going to happen next
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars No disappointment! January 13, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Once again Josie Brown has written an entertaining and captivating book. Suspense, humour and a bit of sexiness to keep you wanting more. Can't wait for the next book!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Funny. Exciting. A fun series
Published 4 days ago by Jen
5.0 out of 5 stars tips
The book is a fun ride, and, although part of a series, stands alone just fine. Personally, I could read the ' tips' that head each chapter, (cookies flavored with arsenic), and... Read more
Published 12 days ago by FJS
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
I love this series! Will be downloading the next one soon! :)
Published 23 days ago by Lisa
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
This author has great stories. They are very enjoyable to read. They need to be proofread for simple errors.
Published 29 days ago by Peggy S. Sublett
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
I lost interest and didn't finish
Published 1 month ago by sue signs
4.0 out of 5 stars An enjoyable read..I laughed a lot.
I get a kick out of her writing..she shares a lot of humor along with her stories..
Published 1 month ago by Delores Tacoma
4.0 out of 5 stars the adventures continue!
I continue to enjoy the adventures of Donna and Jack as they save the world from her ex Carl. Hopefully he is finally out of her life.
Published 1 month ago by Linda J. Sampson
5.0 out of 5 stars Love Ms. Brown's wit
Loving this series! A little something of everything in it. Love Ms. Brown's wit!
Published 1 month ago by DEE BROWN
4.0 out of 5 stars fun read - can't wait for the rest
This series of books is just a fun pleasure! It is well written and moves fast. I can't wait to see what Donna and Jack do next.
Published 1 month ago by Joyce L Meyer
1.0 out of 5 stars No
Although I found the first book in the series hilarious, this one confirmed that I'm not the target audience. Read more
Published 1 month ago by J. Burk
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More About the Author

My novels are:
- The Candidate [Steamy Political Thriller; 2013 Signal Press]
- Totlandia/Book 1/Fall [2012, Signal Press]
- Totlandia/Book 2/Winter [2012, Signal Press]
- Totlandia/Book 3 / Spring [2013, Signal Press]
- Totlandia/Book 4 / Summer [2013, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Handbook [Book 1; 2011, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Guide to Gracious Killing [Book 2; 2012, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Killer Christmas Tips [Book 3; 2012, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Relationship Survival Guide [Book 4; 2013, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Vacation to Die For [Book 5; August 2013, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Recipes for Disaster [Book 6; November 2013, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Hollywood Scream Play [Book 7: March 2014, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Deadly Dossier [Series Prequel; June 2014, Signal Press]
- The Baby Planner[2011, Simon & Schuster]
- True Hollywood Lies [2011 / 2005, Signal Press]
- Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives [2010, Simon & Schuster]

In fact my novel, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives (Simon & Schuster), is being adapted by producer Jerry Bruckheimer as a dramatic series for television.

Like most authors I know, I'm a voracious reader. My favorite classic authors are Edith Wharton, John le Carre, Martin Cruz Smith, Jane Austen, Graham Greene, P.D. Wodehouse, Margaret Mitchell, Glen David Gold, and Raymond Chandler.

As for contemporary authors, I think that both Martin Cruz Smith and John Le Carre are two of the best writers alive, and I love the writing styles of Helen Fielding, Jackie Collins and Allison Pearson. I think John Lescroart and MJ Rose are amazing, both as authors and author advocates.

I'm a cinephile (I see everything--chick flicks, action films, art house movies, almost every kind of foreign film) and I'm a walker and hiker--anywhere from four to eleven miles a day.

Otherwise, I'M WRITING. Or researching for my next books....meeting the wonderful people who let me know that what I write resonates with them...or hanging out in my fave bookstores (which is any bookstore in any town I happen to be in, at the time).

I've got a sweet romantic husband (who both cooks AND walks the dog, come rain, sleet or flood), and two great funny kids, a boy and a girl. Yeah, I know, I'm lucky, and I should count my blessings. (Believe me, I do!)

I'm also the author of three non-fiction books: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Finding Mr. Right [Alpha/Pearson]; Marriage Confidential: 102 Honest Answers to the Questions Every Husband Wants to Ask, and Every Wife Needs to Know [Signal Press]; and Last Night I Dreamt of Cosmopolatans: A Modern Girl's Dream Dictionary [St. Martin's Press]

As a journalist, my celebrity interviews and relationships trends articles have been featured in Los Angeles Times Syndicate International, Redbook and Complete Woman magazines, as well as AOL, Yahoo,,, and

You can connect with me here, or on:

- Facebook Fan Page:
- Twitter:


The Baby Planner

"Brown takes baby mania to its illogical, hysterical extreme in this bubbly romp....But what begins as a light foray into Bugaboo country turns into something bigger than a satire of status-obsessed Bay Area yummy mummies as Brown takes a dark look at the fears of parenthood and family, with Katie's heartbreaking longing for a child unveiling a disturbing reality about her marriage and family. Still, the message from the somber realities is one full of hope: love makes a family, commitment keeps it together." --Publishers Weekly

Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives

"Josie Brown writes with all the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK Magazine cover. Truly entertaining reading."--Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives

"Josie Brown's writing is whip-smart as well as wickedly funny, and just as you are enjoying the ride she takes you on, she shatters your heart with her insight into modern lives." --Tatjana Soli, New York Times bestselling author and 2011 recipient of the James Tait Black Memorial Prize for fiction for The Lotus Eaters

"Already touted as the perfect summer beach read, this character driven (sometimes steamy) book can best be described as the offspring of an affair between Desperate Housewives and a Jennifer Weiner novel....A quick look into the sometimes catty world of wealth where priorities get shifted, friendships get broken and marriages, like their mansions, get rearranged. It was light and fluffy (with some excellent dialogue.)..." --

"I loved it! Josie Brown captures the highs and lows of love, lust and marriage with heartwrenching pathos. I'm recommending it to all my friends as the perfect beach read!" -- Lisa Rinna, acatress, and author of the novel Starlit

True Hollywood Lies

The tone is confessional, the writing laced with venomous humor..."
--Wall Street Journal

"Brown captures the humor of working for a megalomaniac...[A] well-paced, entertaining story..." --Publishers Weekly

"A fine piece of literary work." --New York Post

Impossibly Tongue-Tied

"Brad, Angelina, Britney and Kevin may want to check out Josie Brown's new novel, Impossibly Tongue-Tied, for its ripped-from-the-headlines plot that mixes their scandals together..." - PAGE SIX, New York Post

Josie lives in San Francisco, California, with Martin and our two children.

Martin, my husband: THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO FINDING MR. RIGHT, and MARRIAGE CONFIDENTIAL: 102 HONEST Answers to the Questions Every Husband Wants to Ask, and Every Wife Needs to Know.


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