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The Housewife Assassin's Vacation to Die For (A Funny Romantic Mystery) (Housewife Assassin Series Book 5) [Kindle Edition]

Josie Brown
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (71 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $3.99

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Book Description

Murder. Suspense. Sex. And some handy household tips.

IN BOOK 5 OF THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN SERIES:

A nude sunbathing serial killer, a Lord of the Flies 'tween takeover, poison-dart throwing pygmies....talk about a fantasy (nightmare?) island!

An NSA scientist has disappeared with a deadly plague virus. Donna and Jack must find him before it is unleashed on Fantasy island, home of three very different resorts:

Like Kamp KidStuff, where families frolic among dolphins, cartoon characters, and warring gangs of tweens who believe in the law of the jungle--including human sacrifices; And Eden Key, a nude singles sanctuary where tiki-hut tree houses provide the perfect setting for rum-fueled romances and casual hook-ups--not to mention the occasional swinger slashing...Finally, there's the Hunt Club, which allows its members to track a very unique, soon-to-be extinct prey.

And you call this a vacation? 

Read the excerpt here, or at HousewifeAssassinsHandbook.com


Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

REVIEWS FOR BOOKS BY JOSIE BROWN'S BOOKS
"Secrets, sex, money and scandal...Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue makes for truly entertaining reading." 
--Jackie Collins

"Brown takes a dark look at the fears of parenthood and family... Still, the message from the somber realities is one full of hope: love makes a family, commitment keeps it together."
--Publishers Weekly

"The writing is laced with venomous humor..."-The Wall Street Journal

"A fine piece of literary work." -New York Post, Page Six

"If you like Desperate Housewives, then you'll fly through this gossipy novel full of Wisteria Lane-esque characters living in a suburban jungle. Brown entertains up to the satisfying ending." --Examiner.com

"A funny, engaging, and often bittersweet tale..." --Cincinnati Public Library Spotlight Feature

For more on Josie Brown's books, go to her website: JosieBrown.com

From the Back Cover

MORE PRAISE FOR THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN SERIES:
 
"This is a super sex and fun read that you shouldn't miss!" - Mary Jacobs, Bookhounds Reviews
 
"It's a fast-paced read, and the gadgets are awesome...The perfect combination of mystery and humour." - Curled Up with a Good Book and a Cup of Tea
 
  "...The chemistry between Donna and Jack is enough to set water on fire... A healthy dose of humor and ridiculousness in a book that won't be put down - so go pick it up now!" - Cat's Thoughts
 
If you love funny mysteries with espionage, and action and adventure--not to mention savvy sexy women sleuths--check out THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S VACATION TO DIE FOR!
 
********
         
OTHER FUNNY ROMANTIC MYSTERIES BY JOSIE BROWN:
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK (Book 1) Every desperate housewife wants an alias. Donna Stone has one, and it happens to be government-sanctions. But espionage makes for strange bedfellows, and brings new meaning to the old adage, "Honey, I'm home..."
         
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S GUIDE TO GRACIOUS KILLING (Book 2) 
On Donna's to-do list: First, exterminate a rogue operative out to assassinate the newly elected Russian President. Next: file for divorce!
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S KILLER CHRISTMAS TIPS (Book 3) 
'Tis the season for mistletoe...and murder! There will be no peace on Earth if Donna doesn't find a shipping container filled with heat-seeking missiles!
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S RELATIONSHIP SURVIVAL GUIDE (Book 4)          
London. Paris. Guantanamo Bay. Donna Stone is looking for love -- and terrorists -- in all the wrong places. In this fourth full-length novel of The Housewife Assassin series, Donna Stone finds out that breaking up is hard to do. Then again, so is dating a terrorist, let alone eleven of them! Does this make Donna a serial dater, or a serial killer? Worse yet, an old flame gets in the way of Donna's chance for true love. But she doesn't cry...She gets even.
  
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S VACATION TO DIE FOR (Book 5)
An NSA scientist has disappeared with a deadly plague virus. Donna and Jack must find him before it is unleashed on Fantasy island. But first they'll have to deal with a nude sunbathing serial killer, a Lord of the Flies 'tween takeover, poison dart-throwing pygmies, and a hunt club with the most unusual prey. And you call this a vacation?
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S RECIPES FOR DISASTER (Book 6)
Housewife Assassin Donna Stone's executive mission is crystal clear: stop the assassination of both US political parties' presidential candidates. When she discovers she has a long-term vendetta with one of the targets, can she put her animosity aside long enough to save the candidate's life?
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HOLLYWOOD SCREAM PLAY (Book 7)
Lights, camera and non-stop action await Donna and Jack when they are hired as espionage consultants on a movie set. There will be plenty of close-ups, and too many close calls as they use the movie's many location shoots to track down crucial intel needed to take down the Quorum. But nothing--including a lascivious leading lady, deadly stunt doubles, or being on Interpol's Most Wanted list-will stand in their way.
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S DEADLY DOSSIER (Series Prequel)
In this full-length prequel to the series, Acme Industries' black-ops agent, Jack Craig, is tasked with investigating the mysterious death of his organization's most prolific hit man, Carl Stone--only to fall in love the the dead man's wife, Donna--a woman he must never contact, but who may hold the key to her husband's disappearance. When Acme approaches Donna to join their organization as an assassin, Jack's undercover mission changes both their lives forever.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1110 KB
  • Print Length: 248 pages
  • Publisher: Signal Press (August 2, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00EJQQW6C
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #31,132 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read September 23, 2013
By T. Rand
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Awesome! Can't wait for the next book!
This series is a can't put down and always makes me wish the next was finished and ready to read!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Worthy read September 23, 2013
By Jan
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Enjoyed the whole series - Exciting and unpredictable ! Definitely enjoy this writers style and hope she adds to this series !
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars funny September 22, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
It was a vry light humored tale of a common wife's not so every day problems. I would reccomend it and woud like to see more like that.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars a great addition to the series! September 21, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
In the past week I have read all five books in the series, and I can say this one does not disappoint! I love that Jack seems to be more settled into his role as dad and that Donna is putting more trust in their relationship. I'm super excited to see what is next, especially from Babette and Lee...you just know they are going to stir up trouble!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining September 18, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
The ending left you wanting to read the next book. And soon. This series is always entertaining and a lot of fun.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Working Vacations can Involve the Whole Family September 13, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This is the most recent of the Housewife Assassin's books. Like the others it involves our heroine and how she deals with her chosen career while managing home and kids. Like the others the situations which crop up leave the reader laughing. High praise for this book and the others. She gives vacation tips throughout the book. She could include "Belly laughs burn up fat which will make your bathing suit look better". A fun read.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Housewife Assassins Handbook Vacation to Die for September 9, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This series is awesome!! Must read!! Couldn't put it down. Love the series. Can't wait for the next one!! Josie Brown is a fantastic author!!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A fun read! September 7, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I enjoyed this read. It contains just the right amount of romance and mystery while interspersed with comedy. I have read all in this series and have enjoyed each and every one!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Love this series by Josie Brown! Funny and suspenseful, with some romance thrown in for fun!
Published 14 days ago by Pat
5.0 out of 5 stars witty
loved it!
Published 16 days ago by ENYA
5.0 out of 5 stars Looking forward to the next
This series is a light, fun read. As I finish each book, I am looking forward to the next.
Published 21 days ago by gyama
5.0 out of 5 stars Another fun and sexy book
Another fun and sexy book. You can't help admiring the wit and sarcastic humor of the heroine. She certainly has it all and does it all! I've really enjoyed this entire series.
Published 24 days ago by Brenda
2.0 out of 5 stars Not as good
This book of the series was flat & a little forced in my opinion. Also with so many town folk on the vacation resort island was a high reach not to blow Donna 's & Jack's... Read more
Published 25 days ago by Meme
5.0 out of 5 stars Fast paced and fun!
I love reading Josie Brown's books! They never fail to make me laugh, keep me entertained and are full of suspense and twists and turns! Read more
Published 28 days ago by Lisa D
4.0 out of 5 stars Wow!
Another enjoyable escape! Josie Brown always delivers an exciting adventure! Donna Stone is an admirable heroine and I can't w as it to read more!
Published 1 month ago by Kristi Leverson
5.0 out of 5 stars Another fun filled adventure.
This series cracks me up. Totally unbelievable, totally entertaining. Can't wait to start the next book. Great light, funny easy read.
Published 1 month ago by tlswan
4.0 out of 5 stars Fun
Fun book. Once in awhile I am disappointed by the obvious they miss in the story but not enough that I won't keep reading the series.
Published 1 month ago by Panda jo
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny
Funny entertaining series in book five now and can't pit it down would recommend to any one who likes romantic mystery
Published 1 month ago by deborah f.
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More About the Author

My novels are:
- The Candidate [Steamy Political Thriller; 2013 Signal Press]
- Totlandia/Book 1/Fall [2012, Coliloquy]
- Totlandia/Book 2/Winter [2012, Coliloquy]
- Totlandia/Book 3 / Spring [2013, Coliloquy]
- Totlandia/Book 4 / Summer [2013, Coliloquy]
- The Housewife Assassin's Handbook [Book 1; 2011, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Guide to Gracious Killing [Book 2; 2012, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Killer Christmas Tips [Book 3; 2012, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Relationship Survival Guide [Book 4; 2013, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Vacation to Die For [Book 5; August 2013, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Recipes for Disaster [Book 6; November 2013, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Hollywood Scream Play [Book 7: March 2014, Signal Press]
- The Housewife Assassin's Deadly Dossier [Series Prequel; June 2014, Signal Press]
- The Baby Planner[2011, Simon & Schuster]
- True Hollywood Lies [2011 / 2005, Signal Press]
- Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives [2010, Simon & Schuster]

In fact my novel, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives (Simon & Schuster), is being adapted by producer Jerry Bruckheimer as a dramatic series for television.

Like most authors I know, I'm a voracious reader. My favorite classic authors are Edith Wharton, John le Carre, Martin Cruz Smith, Jane Austen, Graham Greene, P.D. Wodehouse, Margaret Mitchell, Glen David Gold, and Raymond Chandler.

As for contemporary authors, I think that both Martin Cruz Smith and John Le Carre are two of the best writers alive, and I love the writing styles of Helen Fielding, Jackie Collins and Allison Pearson. I think John Lescroart and MJ Rose are amazing, both as authors and author advocates.

I'm a cinephile (I see everything--chick flicks, action films, art house movies, almost every kind of foreign film) and I'm a walker and hiker--anywhere from four to eleven miles a day.

Otherwise, I'M WRITING. Or researching for my next books....meeting the wonderful people who let me know that what I write resonates with them...or hanging out in my fave bookstores (which is any bookstore in any town I happen to be in, at the time).

I've got a sweet romantic husband (who both cooks AND walks the dog, come rain, sleet or flood), and two great funny kids, a boy and a girl. Yeah, I know, I'm lucky, and I should count my blessings. (Believe me, I do!)

I'm also the author of three non-fiction books: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Finding Mr. Right [Alpha/Pearson]; Marriage Confidential: 102 Honest Answers to the Questions Every Husband Wants to Ask, and Every Wife Needs to Know [Signal Press]; and Last Night I Dreamt of Cosmopolatans: A Modern Girl's Dream Dictionary [St. Martin's Press]

As a journalist, my celebrity interviews and relationships trends articles have been featured in Los Angeles Times Syndicate International, Redbook and Complete Woman magazines, as well as AOL, Yahoo, AskMen.com, Divorce360.com, and SingleMindedWomen.com

You can connect with me here, or on:

- Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/JosieBrownAuthor
- Twitter: http://twitter.com/JosieBrownCA

PRAISE FOR JOSIE'S BOOKS:

The Baby Planner

"Brown takes baby mania to its illogical, hysterical extreme in this bubbly romp....But what begins as a light foray into Bugaboo country turns into something bigger than a satire of status-obsessed Bay Area yummy mummies as Brown takes a dark look at the fears of parenthood and family, with Katie's heartbreaking longing for a child unveiling a disturbing reality about her marriage and family. Still, the message from the somber realities is one full of hope: love makes a family, commitment keeps it together." --Publishers Weekly

Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives

"Josie Brown writes with all the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK Magazine cover. Truly entertaining reading."--Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives

"Josie Brown's writing is whip-smart as well as wickedly funny, and just as you are enjoying the ride she takes you on, she shatters your heart with her insight into modern lives." --Tatjana Soli, New York Times bestselling author and 2011 recipient of the James Tait Black Memorial Prize for fiction for The Lotus Eaters

"Already touted as the perfect summer beach read, this character driven (sometimes steamy) book can best be described as the offspring of an affair between Desperate Housewives and a Jennifer Weiner novel....A quick look into the sometimes catty world of wealth where priorities get shifted, friendships get broken and marriages, like their mansions, get rearranged. It was light and fluffy (with some excellent dialogue.)..." -- GoodHousekeeping.com

"I loved it! Josie Brown captures the highs and lows of love, lust and marriage with heartwrenching pathos. I'm recommending it to all my friends as the perfect beach read!" -- Lisa Rinna, acatress, and author of the novel Starlit



True Hollywood Lies

The tone is confessional, the writing laced with venomous humor..."
--Wall Street Journal

"Brown captures the humor of working for a megalomaniac...[A] well-paced, entertaining story..." --Publishers Weekly

"A fine piece of literary work." --New York Post


Impossibly Tongue-Tied

"Brad, Angelina, Britney and Kevin may want to check out Josie Brown's new novel, Impossibly Tongue-Tied, for its ripped-from-the-headlines plot that mixes their scandals together..." - PAGE SIX, New York Post

Josie lives in San Francisco, California, with Martin and our two children.

Martin, my husband: THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO FINDING MR. RIGHT, and MARRIAGE CONFIDENTIAL: 102 HONEST Answers to the Questions Every Husband Wants to Ask, and Every Wife Needs to Know.


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