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How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage, Style, Women, and Cocktails Ever Written Kindle Edition

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Length: 192 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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Fortune Smiles
2015 National Book Awards - Fiction Winner
Get your copy of this year's National Book Award winner for fiction, "Fortune Smiles" by Adam Johnson. Hardcover | Kindle book | See more winners

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Hi. I see you’re reading the back of my book. This tells me that you either:

A) are hoping to find a brief summary of what to expect from a how-to book by Sterling Archer, the world’s greatest secret agent, or B) don’t know how books work.

If your answer was “A,” your best bet is probably the table of contents, which is where you’ll find the “contents” of this book listed in a convenient, easy-to-read “table” format. So maybe go check that out for a minute and then come back here. I’ll wait. . . .

Pretty cool, right? What other book will teach you how to dress properly and how to drive an elephant? How to field strip an AK-47 and how to haggle with a Thai prostitute—in her native tongue? How to pilot an airboat and how to make about a million delicious cocktails, including a Molotov one? How to kill a guy and how to prepare a fabulous brunch? Plus how to do tons of other stuff that I forgot, but that is nonetheless probably in this book (which, to be honest, I really only kinda skimmed).

So if you want to learn more about how to be more—or at all—like Sterling Archer, the world’s greatest secret agent, quit smearing your greasy fingerprints all over this book and buy it. For one thing, I really need the royalties. For another thing, the last time I checked, this wasn’t a damn library.

(Note: If your answer was “B,” this probably isn’t the book you want to start with.)

About the Author

Sterling Archer is the world’s greatest secret agent and nowalso probably a bestselling author. A world-class cocksmanand former all-conference preparatory school lacrosse player,he divides his time among New York City, Monte Carlo, theOrient, several of the classier islands of the Caribbean, andGstaad. This is his first book.

Product Details

  • File Size: 3894 KB
  • Print Length: 192 pages
  • Publisher: It Books (January 17, 0012)
  • Publication Date: January 17, 2012
  • Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004FEF6RY
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #39,021 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
"How to Archer" is a companion book to the Adam Reed television show Archer: Season 1, which is an animated series about a spy (Archer) who works for the International Secret Intelligence Service (ISIS). If you are unfamiliar with the television show, I should stop you right here and recommend you watch a few episodes to obtain an understanding of the characters and premise. The book is self-contained and you don't need to be familiar with past plot lines on the show, but you do need to have a basic understanding of Archer or the humor of the book will be mostly lost on you. You need to be able to read the book in Archer's voice to get a real grasp on it and appreciate it. Even the title's awkward non sequitur should jump out at you as "classic Archer" rather than confuse. So if you're a fan of the show, or once you've seen a couple episodes, you're ready to jump in and learn about the most important aspects of being a top ISIS agent - namely getting drunk, having sex with as many women as possible, and picking out the perfect turtleneck for a nighttime stealth mission.

In the tradition of his previous shows, SeaLab 2021 and Frisky Dingo, Reed has created a humorous look at what is presumably a 1960s (though the characters use some modern technology) intelligence agency that is lead by an agent who is arrogant, crass, sexist, egotistical, reckless, and self-serving. He believes he is God's gift to women and the US government, and is ready to share the secrets to becoming a master spy in his new book. The first thing fans of the show will likely appreciate is that this is not just a tie-in book thrown out there by FX to make a quick buck from the show or to promote season 3.
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58 of 60 people found the following review helpful By Kirk Starr on February 21, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I admit to being an enormous Archer fan, but I still would never give a poorly written stack of regurgitated jokes five stars. This book delivers the laughs, especially if you know anything about the show. Which I do.

But, humor being completely subjective, I still feel compelled to at least dispel a couple shameful myths put forth by other reviewers.

MYTH: "...three out of four jokes are ripped word for word from episodes of Archer..."

FACT: Let's do some math, shall we? Archer states at the start of the book that he's contractually obligated to produce a manuscript of no shorter than 30,000 words and will, therefore, deliver a manuscript of precisely 30,000 words. As I read the book the second time, I highlighted every word I could find that either retold a joke from the show or even so much as referred to a joke from the show. I even highlighted Alex Karras (whom Lana mentions in Archer S1 E10) even though the joke about him is completely different. Total word count on reused jokes: 322. That's 1.073%. So, essentially, the book is 99% new content.

MYTH: This book "substitute[s] rehashed dry jokes for actual information" and is "not much of a guide to anything."

FACT: This is a book by Sterling Archer, so if you're expecting an encyclopedia on the finer points of covert ops, you haven't been paying attention. Spoiler Alert: you won't actually learn how to become an international spy by reading this book. That said, unless you already know the recipe for Green Russians, or the proper way to prepare Eggs Woodhouse, or how to say "Would you like to have sex with me?" in 17 languages (including Portuguese, of course), then I can assure you this book has plenty to teach you.
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120 of 133 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on January 19, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As pitch-perfect as this book is for capturing the tone of H. Jon Benjamin (really, how can you read this WITHOUT hearing his voice as Sterling Archer in your head?), the only thing better would be if they would have him release an audio version of the book!!!
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195 of 223 people found the following review helpful By Michael Moore on January 30, 2012
Format: Paperback
If you enjoy the show, obviously buy this book. If you don't enjoy the show, you're dumb. Possibly doubly so because you're reading comments from people that obviously love the show. Go knit yourself a pie or something.
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33 of 38 people found the following review helpful By Slartibartfast on February 10, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As a high functioning alcoholic, secret agent with narcissistic personality disorder myself - I can confirm that this IS the authoritative book on "how to women, dress and cocktail". Ever.
It's like it was written is some sort of zone. A zone of... Danger.
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22 of 27 people found the following review helpful By Hanagin on May 8, 2012
Format: Paperback
"How to Archer" is funny, make no mistake about it. If you've seen the show--you have seen the show, right?--then it's easy enough to listen to the Sterling Archer in your head when you read. If you haven't seen the show, I imagine you're going to hate this book. That said, why are you looking at the review of a tie-in for a show you don't even watch? Go elsewhere.

For all its humor, I don't know if the book ever really hit me as being as funny as the show is. Sterling Archer, the world's greatest secret agent and sexist playboy, is an amazing character. But much of what makes him funny is playing off other characters. When other characters from the show (Woodhouse, Krieger, Pamela) are mentioned, the book is really funny. When it's just Archer talking about can get a little stale. Still funny, mind you, but not as funny as it could be.
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