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How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written Paperback – January 17, 2012
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From the Back Cover
Hi. I see you’re reading the back of my book. This tells me that you either:
A) are hoping to find a brief summary of what to expect from a how-to book by Sterling Archer, the world’s greatest secret agent, or B) don’t know how books work.
If your answer was “A,” your best bet is probably the table of contents, which is where you’ll find the “contents” of this book listed in a convenient, easy-to-read “table” format. So maybe go check that out for a minute and then come back here. I’ll wait. . . .
Pretty cool, right? What other book will teach you how to dress properly and how to drive an elephant? How to field strip an AK-47 and how to haggle with a Thai prostitute—in her native tongue? How to pilot an airboat and how to make about a million delicious cocktails, including a Molotov one? How to kill a guy and how to prepare a fabulous brunch? Plus how to do tons of other stuff that I forgot, but that is nonetheless probably in this book (which, to be honest, I really only kinda skimmed).
So if you want to learn more about how to be more—or at all—like Sterling Archer, the world’s greatest secret agent, quit smearing your greasy fingerprints all over this book and buy it. For one thing, I really need the royalties. For another thing, the last time I checked, this wasn’t a damn library.
(Note: If your answer was “B,” this probably isn’t the book you want to start with.)
About the Author
Sterling Archer is the world’s greatest secret agent and nowalso probably a bestselling author. A world-class cocksmanand former all-conference preparatory school lacrosse player,he divides his time among New York City, Monte Carlo, theOrient, several of the classier islands of the Caribbean, andGstaad. This is his first book.
More About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
In the tradition of his previous shows, SeaLab 2021 and Frisky Dingo, Reed has created a humorous look at what is presumably a 1960s (though the characters use some modern technology) intelligence agency that is lead by an agent who is arrogant, crass, sexist, egotistical, reckless, and self-serving. He believes he is God's gift to women and the US government, and is ready to share the secrets to becoming a master spy in his new book. The first thing fans of the show will likely appreciate is that this is not just a tie-in book thrown out there by FX to make a quick buck from the show or to promote season 3.Read more ›
But, humor being completely subjective, I still feel compelled to at least dispel a couple shameful myths put forth by other reviewers.
MYTH: "...three out of four jokes are ripped word for word from episodes of Archer..."
FACT: Let's do some math, shall we? Archer states at the start of the book that he's contractually obligated to produce a manuscript of no shorter than 30,000 words and will, therefore, deliver a manuscript of precisely 30,000 words. As I read the book the second time, I highlighted every word I could find that either retold a joke from the show or even so much as referred to a joke from the show. I even highlighted Alex Karras (whom Lana mentions in Archer S1 E10) even though the joke about him is completely different. Total word count on reused jokes: 322. That's 1.073%. So, essentially, the book is 99% new content.
MYTH: This book "substitute[s] rehashed dry jokes for actual information" and is "not much of a guide to anything."
FACT: This is a book by Sterling Archer, so if you're expecting an encyclopedia on the finer points of covert ops, you haven't been paying attention. Spoiler Alert: you won't actually learn how to become an international spy by reading this book. That said, unless you already know the recipe for Green Russians, or the proper way to prepare Eggs Woodhouse, or how to say "Would you like to have sex with me?" in 17 languages (including Portuguese, of course), then I can assure you this book has plenty to teach you.Read more ›
It's like it was written is some sort of zone. A zone of... Danger.
For all its humor, I don't know if the book ever really hit me as being as funny as the show is. Sterling Archer, the world's greatest secret agent and sexist playboy, is an amazing character. But much of what makes him funny is playing off other characters. When other characters from the show (Woodhouse, Krieger, Pamela) are mentioned, the book is really funny. When it's just Archer talking about Archer...well...it can get a little stale. Still funny, mind you, but not as funny as it could be.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
One of the most hysterically funny books I've had the pleasure of reading! A MUST BUY for any Archer super-fan such as I!Published 4 days ago by Kevin Casenhiser
Bought this as a Christmas gift for my husband and he loved it! Very comical :)Published 5 days ago by Alonya
This book is a fantastic introduction into the personal ideals and how-to of the worlds greatest agent. Read morePublished 9 days ago
I was expecting funny, but this was gut busting, side splitting funny.! If you like the show, read this book it literally as if archer had written his own spy manual.Published 14 days ago by Amazon Customer
The book does sound like Archer, just, Archer gets leavened by other voices in the television show. This induces a headache in about two pages. Read morePublished 15 days ago by glorious reader
Tongue-in-cheek and everything Archer! The author, acting as the world's worst spy, Sterling Archer, explains how to be just like him, from food and clothing, alcoholic beverage... Read morePublished 17 days ago by StMalo
The book is a direct reflection of the on-screen character. You could tell whoever wrote the book knows the Archer character/persona well. I read it cover to cover within a day. Read morePublished 24 days ago by Albert P. Hreha, Jr.