How to Avoid the Mommy Trap: A Roadmap for Sharing Parenting and Making It Work (Capital Ideas) [Hardcover]

Julie Shields (Author)

Book Description

Series: Capital Ideas | Publication Date: August 14, 2002

Typically, when a woman gets pregnant, she considers whether to give up or cut back on her career, or surrender her child to daycare or a nanny. Now families have other alternatives. Fathers can stay home, work flexibly, go part-time, or help out so stay-at-home-mothers enjoy personal fulfillment too. Prepared women can choose the lives they want by following the common sense prescriptions in "How to Avoid the Mommy Trap." Julie Shields interviewed marital counselors, childcare workers, negotiation experts, employers, child development experts, and parents to find out how to create a family balance. How to Avoid the Mommy Trap emphasizes real-life solutions and strategies, and highlights common missteps. Weaving research and anecdote together, Julie Shields demonstrates the value and efficacy of a new parenting paradigm - sharing. This sensible primer is for every parent thinking about having children but wondering if and how to balance work, parenthood, and life.

Author Events

August 15, 2003 - WCUB Breakfast Club, 10 a.m.

August 26, 2003 - WFHR Radio, 10 a.m.

August 27, 2003 - WBKC, 8:30a.m.

August 29, 2003 - KLPW Radio, 12:10 p.m.

September 12, 2003 into September 13, 2003 - WBZ Radio, 1 a.m.

September 13, 2003 - WFAS "Here’s to Your Good Health," 11 a.m.

September 27, 2003 - KTKK Interviews & Interactions with Linda Strasberg, 5:30 p.m.

October 29, 2003 - Speaking Engagement at the 92nd Street Y in New York City

November 1, 2003 - WFHG 92.7 FM / WXBQ "The Barbara McFaddin Show," 10am

Editorial Reviews

Review

" . . . a clear and concise roadmap to the future of modern families." -- Susan Estrich, Fox News political analyst and author of Sex and Power

"...full of practical suggestions...provides a step-by-step guide of how to negotiate a flexible schedule with your employer." -- Washington Parent

"Both men and women should embrace this book." -- Pat Schroeder, U.S. Congresswoman from Colorado, 1972-1996, president of the AAP

"Full of practical and honest advice, it can change your life." -- Lewiston Sun Journal

"The new book emphasizes real-life solutions and strategies and highlights common missteps." -- Rochester Democrat & Chronicle

About the Author

Julie Shields is an intellectual property attorney and freelance writer. She has successfully lobbied her employer for more flexible work arrangements and is spearheading an effort to improve federal employees' parental leave options. She lives with her husband and their two daughters in McLean, Virginia.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Capital Books (August 14, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1892123886
• ISBN-13: 978-1892123886
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.8 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,930,236 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I wish I'd found this book 6 years ago!, August 5, 2005

By 

Amy Tiemann "creator of www.MojoMom.com" (North Carolina, USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: How to Avoid the Mommy Trap: A Roadmap for Sharing Parenting and Making It Work (Capital Ideas) (Paperback)

Julie Shields' excellent book "How to Avoid the Mommy Trap" provides a thorough exploration of strategies to help women and men share parenting responsibilities in a way that benefits everybody in the family.

"How to Avoid the Mommy Trap" illuminates the status quo and the calcified gender roles that many couples default to once they become parents. Shields belives that family life doesn't have to unfold that way, and she encourages couples to look beyond the standard choices of nanny, day care, or mother at home. Shields says 'The term Mommy Trap does not refer to giving birth and then having a child to take care of, or give up something for your child....More than anything else, the Mommy Trap describes a failure to understand the wide range of options available to modern parents.' She gives many examples of what it looks like to be caught in the Mommy Trap, including:

'The Mommy Trap snares a mother when she takes on parenting or household responsibilities that result in more unpaid work, and less leisure time and personal time, than she would like, particularly in comparison with her husband.'

Sound familiar? Do you feel like you couldn't even ask to expect things to be different without feeling selfish or guilty? Get this book! It is a primer that illuminates what marriage and parenting could look like if we stuck up for ourselves, let go of controlling the way our husbands parent, and worked to create truly equitable partnerships.

15 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all parents and potential parents!, September 12, 2002

By 

Amy Beal (Alexandria, VA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Avoid the Mommy Trap: A Roadmap for Sharing Parenting and Making It Work (Capital Ideas) (Hardcover)

This book is one of a kind. Whether you are parents already or just thinking about it, How to Avoid the Mommy Trap will help men and women alike think about parenting as a partnership as never done before. This book has been a lifesaving eye-opener for me and my marriage and I am sure I am not the only one out there for whom this is true.

Shields is an innovator. She has changed the paternity leave policies in the State Department. In the book, she gets readers to think about the importance of where your ideal partner stands on work and family issues before meeting him/her or where your current partner stands on such issues before making the making the final commitment.

I am a full-time stay at home mom and I love my job. It is the hardest yet most rewarding job I have ever had and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But I had begun to lose my identity in my mommyness and this book is a guide on how mothers can "let go" without guilt. Julie Shields is helping me get my sense of self back and she doesn't even know me!

Just read the Table of Contents and you'll be hooked too!

Amy Beal

18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful book, September 26, 2002

By 

Julia M. Wilson (Leesburg, VA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Avoid the Mommy Trap: A Roadmap for Sharing Parenting and Making It Work (Capital Ideas) (Hardcover)

I read this book in one sitting, and when I was done I found myself going back through it again in order to digest it more completely. I really wish it had been available when I was just starting my family, but even though my kids are now older I don't feel it's too late. A wonderful resource for any two-parent household, full of practical advice and suggestions on how to improve the whole family's quality of life. Julie Shields cuts through to the heart of many emotional, complicated parenting issues and presents solutions from a fresh, logical perspective. This is not just another book telling women how to reduce stress in their lives by making time for relaxing baths. I highly recommend it to any parent, or anyone thinking of becoming one.