How to Be: A Guide to Contemporary Living for African Americans [Paperback]

Harriette Cole (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 2, 2000

REAL MANNERS FOR REAL LIFE

Etiquette is more than knowing which fork to use. Good manners are the rules that let us find our way in today's rapidly changing maze of lifestyles, customs, and relationships. Anyone who doesn't know these rules is living and working at a real disadvantage.

In How to Be, noted author and editor Harriette Cole treats manners as a resource for the empowerment of people of African descent. She offers guidance drawn from the tried-and-true experience and wisdom of our African-American elders, as well as from European mainstream traditions in many areas of life, including:

Family -- immediate, extended, and blended

New codes of dating, love, and sex

Entertaining family, friends, and coworkers in both casual and formal settings

Workplace issues -- from how to resign to what to wear on casual Fridays

Rites of passage, including weddings and funerals

Holiday celebrations like Christmas, Kwanzaa, and Juneteenth and much more

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The author of Jumping the Broom, former fashion editor of Essence and president of Profundities, Inc., Harriette Cole has the experience and the skill to translate into contemporary language the values and rules of behavior one learned, or was supposed to learn, as a child, updating them to take into account the vicissitudes of modern life.

Drawing on ancient sages and anecdotal tales, Cole covers general codes of conduct and every particular from dating, travel, and work to money, politics, and family. More conversational than an Emily Post treatise, more reflective than a simple laundry list of do's and don'ts, Cole's How To Be is as much a guide for the spirit as it is for specific behaviors. Still, she does take on specific questions that represent common quandaries, such as "What can I do when my child comes home proclaiming that he has changed his religion?" and "Do I have to change my vocabulary when I am speaking with elders?" and "I am in love with a wonderful man, but my family doesn't like him at all. How can I manage this?" Cole's answers reflect the history and culture of the African American community, but the topics and concerns of her book will be familiar to everyone, regardless of race, and her candid sagacity is refreshing and instructive, no matter what your color or background may be. --Stephanie Gold --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

Michael J. Rochon The Philadelphia Tribune Stunning....The essential combination of sound advice and an even sounder advice giver.

Ebony An innovative primer....[It] goes beyond the basics to explain how and why these traditions exist in Black America.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 524 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster; 1st Fireside Ed edition (February 2, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0684863081
• ISBN-13: 978-0684863085
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 6 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #436,059 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

24 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Not what I thought, November 7, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: How to Be: A Guide to Contemporary Living for African Americans (Hardcover)

I was interested in a professional etiquette book but there were far more chapters on how to raise your kids in a today's society and african religions, interesting but not what I wanted. Rather then provide info on how to behave in certain social situations the author focuses on her position about social behaviors and issues.....not that useful when you want to know what all those utensils at the table are for. If I had an opportunity to check out the table of contents before purchasing this book, I wouldn't have.

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars How To Be, January 27, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: How to Be: A Guide to Contemporary Living for African Americans (Hardcover)

"How To Be" was a good book. But I would not say that it was an "etiquette" book. We learned about the religious beliefs of the author. We learned her personal views on things. It is fine to use your own life as an example; however, I would have gleaned more if she had used her own life to teach us about etiquette. That did not really happen

10 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars great guide to being refined ladies and gentlemen, March 31, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: How to Be: A Guide to Contemporary Living for African Americans (Hardcover)

Harriet Cole is a brilliant woman and writer. Her experiences in life and from those whom she has worked with, qualifies her to write this book. She has been seen on ABC's The View, displaying proper etiquette for dining. This book takes a look at different cultures and what is proper etiquette in different enviornments. From this wonderful book one can learn what are respectable calling times whrn calling others, proper dining, and even how to address others upon entering a room. This book is a great buy for anyone of any race or background.