Customer Reviews

How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!

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What makes this book, among hundreds of parenting advice books, different? It engages parents in a serious look at how profoundly their actions, and reactions, influence their children's trust and cooperation, while giving them a 101 course in behavior management.

Based upon stories from thousands of parents, Dr. Severe has devised strategies for parents to manage their behavior, while successfully guiding their children's behavior. He uses common behavior scenarios to exemplify ways in which parents can use these strategies.

Familiar occurrences of tantrums in the grocery store, bedtime hassles, or fighting siblings, often leave parents feeling angry, helpless, defeated, and without control.

Dr. Severe pin-points consistency as a key element in successfully deterring misbehavior and promoting good behavior. As a parent, I know how difficult it is to remain consistent. A statement he made in the book sums up what many parents experience. "Some days we let misbehaviors slide, some days we play warden." I found myself nodding with recognition as he described how parents often feel too tired to argue or yell in a desperate effort to gain cooperation from their children.

It's easy for parents to become caught up in a cycle of power struggles and inconsistent discipline. In his book, Dr. Severe helps parents break these cycles and gain control, with simple self-assessment methods and practical ideas for: implementing incentives without bribing utilizing punishments that teach, and managing children's behavior without arguments andpower struggles.

He also discusses the difference between threats and warnings, the ineffectiveness of spontaneous spanking, and how to make time-outs productive. He stresses the importance of acknowledging our children's good behavior, and gives us dialog that will help them develop valuable decision-making skills.

I found this empowering collection of stories and activities easy to read, non-judgemental, and I highly recommend it to parents who want to improve their parenting skills.

Dr. Severe also shares tips and insights in a free one year subscription to his quarterly newsletter for purchasers of his book.

This book is very practical for the "every day" parent. Not only does the child's behavior improve, but the parent's as well! (First hand experience speaking here!)

First and foremost, this book is written at the average parent level of understanding.

Second, after reading just the author's forward, instead of feeling like you've got to change because you're such a BAD parent, you feel FREEDOM to become a BETTER PARENT!

Third, the ideas in the book are GREAT and you come away with an understanding that you should keep doing the things you are already doing that work well, but have easy-to-use tips to tweek your parenting skills into getting better behavior out of your child and yourself.

In the final analysis, our family life was positively enriched by this book, even if all it did was to help we, the parents, understand the motivations of our children to PUSH OUR BUTTONS!

We've already bought two more copies as new baby gifts for relatives!

I have to tell you that I feel that I have just discovered a goldmine! I am the district Title I Parent Involvement Coordinator in the Rock Island School District and Dr. Severe's book seems to have answers for the most frequently asked questions by our students' parents. There is a tremendous need for guidance for parents in the area of behavior and motivation. I am ordering one book now with the expectation that printing Dr. Sal's material in our district newletter will make necessary the ordering of many more.

It is amazing how succinct and thorough Sal Severe was when writing this book. I recommend it to parents of kids of any age, starting at 1 year old. Actually, from what I could grasp, the sooner parents start using Sal's techniques, the better. Techniques are easy to implement because they are rational and logically supported. In addition, our doubts about exaggerating or being too soft are dissipated. This book should be a must-read to every parent. Good job, Sal!

I bought this book for my harried wife and then kept the kids (one five-year-old and two three-year-olds) busy so that she could find time to read it.

My wife is happier because the kids are behaving much better. This makes life easier and much more pleasant for me.

The three most important things you will find in this book are:

1. be consistent 2. be consistent 3. be consistent

I'm not through it yet, but it is by far one of the best parenting books today. He gives great examples that make sense. Our doctor reccommended this book and "Mommy-CEO." The later is shorter and has many of the same ideas, maybe more tips from real parents. Both books are excellent with workable solutions right up front. Read for the "know how" that many authors simply leave out. Great easy reading.

How To Behave So Your Children Will, Too!, has helped me become a much better parent. I feel so much more in control and honestly I love being around my children more than I ever have. I love being around them more now because I do not have to yell at them every 5 minutes, because now after explaining to my children how Time-Out would be used, (Dr. Severe's way)It is working. Well anyways I wish my husband would read more than the few pages I've bookmarked for him. I've highlighted the pages that stress the importance of being consistent. THANKYOU Dr. Sal.

Catchy title, but I will not do this to my children. Mr. Severe opens the book with an anecdote about punishing a son who reported having an accident. This book completely describes how to use pop behaviorism's reward-and-punish approach. This approach will work in the short term, but will have the opposite of the desired effects in the long term. If one only teaches one's child to behave in order to get a reward or to avoid punishment, that child has no reason to behave in the absence of either (eg, when you're not around). Using this "system" can either deplete a child's interest in much of life, teach them to decide what to do based on a calculation of risks, teach them to hide their mistakes, or at least, ruin your potential relationship with them by turning you into The Enforcer. Instead I would suggest buying _Kids are Worth It!_ by Barbara Colorosso, or for a well-researched argument on why Colorosso's approach is better than Severe's, see _Punished by Rewards_ by Alfie Kohn.

I started reading this book about ten days ago and have started to implement some of the ideas discussed. I am already seeing the value of this book with my 'difficult' eleven year old son.

After reading Dr. Severe's book, I know that he is a rarity among children's mental health professionals (based on my vast personal experience) the research is based on Dr. Severe's years of talking with parents and learning what works for other parents.

This is an excellent book for all parents and for professionals who deal with parents and children. The book offers a common sense approach to parenting and helps parents to remember some of the things they may have forgotten, as well as presenting some suggestions which they may not have considered.

All parents will find this book helpful. Parents of children with behavior problems will find this book particularly valuable. It was ironic that I found this book the day I did because on the previous day my son's therapist had been talking to me about some of the same ideas. For me, this book may become my "parenting bible."

Good luck with the book!

Tracee Cornforth * Freelance Writer * Dallas, TX

Here's an easy to read book, free of jargon, filled with a multitude of examples described in simple language to show effective discipline techniques. The techniques are nothing new to experienced teachers i.e. the use of modelling, redirecting misbehaviour,use of encouragement, incentives, contracts, consequences, how to be proactive and use of timeouts. Experienced teachers would be well advised to recommend this book to parents and new teachers looking for some "tricks of the trade."

Two chapters well worth reading for all teachers and parents are Divorce and Behaviour and Peer Pressure. Dr. Severe debunks the belief that children are naturally flexible and resilient when it comes to their parents' divorce. Any educator will verify his thoughts and conclusions with their own stories of students in the classroom being devasted by divorce. Dr. Sever also gives useful tips to parents and teachers on how to lessen these effects.

What I found dissapointing with How To Behave So Your Children Will, Too! is the fact that although Dr. Severe has spent over 25 years working with behaviour disordered children, he very rarely talks about the adolescent and teenage child whose misbehaviour has been ingrained over the years. I was hoping as I read the book that his background in treating adolescents with emotional and behavioural problems, that there would be examples and techniques on how to deal with severly disturbed children. Alas, it was not so. Perhaps a topic for his next book.