Customer Reviews

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When and Why Love Doesn't Work, and What to Do About It

5 star:		(43)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I first devoured this book about 9 years ago & it saved my life, literally! I could not leave a very sick abusive man, even though I was terrified of him, even when he degraded me, even when it made my hate myself & feel disgusted at my seeming powerlessness to leave. This book SAVED my LIFE! I was able to break my lifelong patterns of choosing women haters, violent batterers, charming seductive snakes whose only goal was to drive me insane & break me in pieces emotionally until I had NO self-worth, self-respect, NO SELF at all left. Why do we stay hooked in harmful relationships? It's not always physically abusive, sometimes they are emotionally & verbally abusive to the point that you no longer know what is real. You want so badly to believe the lies & excuses, hold onto the hope that your lover will change if you just love them enough, I know he really loves me, she/he's just having a bad day, etc. If you've ever been in any type of relationship that you knew or suspected was harmful but STILL could NOT leave, you know the shattering pain of addiction to a person.

This book tells one how they became addicted & why, how to recognize a bad relationship, how to deal with the power & guilt trips your partner uses to keep you hooked, that jealousy & possessiveness do NOT mean love, how to get through the breakup without going back, & how to break this pattern for good! I could have gone through years of expensive therapy & still not received the exact help or understanding that I needed to set myself free from addictive relationships. I just bought a new copy of the book--it is timeless, worth much more than the cover price of...(therapy could cost thousands, take years & have less results). I recommend getting at least 2 because you won't want to share & we always know at least one person trapped in addictive relationships. You're worth it, right? :-)

A friend recommended this to me after an excruciating break up. "She" was my one and only, or so I thought. This book covers many areas of bad relationships. I myself had fallen deeply in love with a married woman, and I just knew we'd get it together. We didn't. This book helped me recognize that she wasn't leaving him. And so I was all over the place. This book held my irrational fears up for what they were, irrational. However, it begs you to examine your relationship with your parents. While my parents weren't perfect, I don't feel like they were as big a responsibility as the book suggests. Also, be careful, this book might make you confront fears and reality, and many aren't prepared for that path. But overall, if you're suffering, read this. You'll take away positives.

This book will answer all of your questions concerning love versus addiction. I read this book twice and highlighted so many areas in the book that I could relate to. I bought so many self-help books but this one is by far the best.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is unsure of their relationship. I was in a very unhealthy relationship for the past 7 1/2 years. I read the book and decided enough was enough.

I am no longer in the relationship. I'm not saying that it's easy but when I find myself missing him or wondering if I did the right thing, I read the parts that I highlighted in the book and know that I did the right thing by letting go.

There was nothing that I was able to do any different to save this relationship.I realized that he was the one with the problem and there was nothing that I could do about it.

Had I stayed for the sake of not being lonely, in the long run, I only would've been miserable and wasted another 7 1/2 years. And to not be lonely is not a good reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship or any relationship.

I'm only sorry it took me this long to find out but on the flip side at least I did found out and can finally move on.

If you find yourself wondering about your relationship, please get this book. It could be just what you're looking for.

I was in a deep depression over fear of losing someone I loved. I have always been anxious and upset about people leaving me. When I felt like I was going to die, I bought this book in hopes of helping me get over feeling so rejected. It really saved my life. It made me realize once and for all why my relationships consistently dont work out even when they seem right. It gave me clear, concise and helpful activities and exercises to do everyday that helped me recover from needing someone so badly. It helped me feel more independent, in control and confident in my life. It helped me to understand why I am the way I am and it used very specific behavioral conditioning to help me change that. This book is not an easy way out. It is not a quick fix for your life. It tells the truth and provides a clear plan that you would implement over a period of time to help you to stop depending on and needing people. It takes work and dedication but it is worth every ounce of self confidence and independence you will feel after getting over your addiction. Helpful for both those who are in an addictive relationship and those who have just left one.

I used this book several years ago. It helped me to discern the difference between real love and "person addiction". After I had figured out that I was in fact in an addictive relationship, it gave me practical advice on what to do about it! How to keep from calling, how to move on, what's normal, what isn't. I recommend it to some friends in need!

This book was very helpful to me. I think to women in general who find themselves drawn to men who are, lets just say - way less than perfect, on a regular basis would benefit from reading this book. It helps you recognize what you are doing and why you keep doing it over and over again. Also, if you purchased this book, chances are that you or someone you know is in an unhealthy relationship but feel a little trapped. In my case - alot trapped....... and I am now ready to make steps to end my current dead end relationship once and for all. The fear of leaving can be dealt with much better than the pain that keeps me staying around. In my case, it is my boyfriend who is seperated from his wife - kids are involved - and it is difficult for him to make the divorce move. Whatever!! It has been over a year and I am just about fed up. I have found since reading this book the most logical sense that eluded me from the beginning. I wasn't using my brain, but let my emotions take over - where I thought there was love was only a desire for certain needs to be met - now that I recognize this - I can move on in a more peaceful fashion. Content AND liberated. I highly recommend this book and for the price - well, you just can't beat it.

I broke up with my boyfriend so many times I couldn't count them, but always took him back, or went back to him until I couldn't see straight. Why couldn't I let this man go, who treated me badly and with no respect? This book explained it very well and walked me through the why's and how's. I learned more about me from this book than months of therapy. I simply could not put it down - there was so much in there that spoke directly to me and my situation. If you want to leave a person but can't - or in my situation - already left him/her and are an emotional, self-doubting wreck because of it - GET THIS BOOK!!

This book does have some interesting parts. I wanted to see and learn more about myself, but went away without much more than I've already learned. There are some interesting stories about other people, some I could understand, and others I really could not relate. So I gave the four stars if perhaps there are people out there that can relate to the stories of other people.

If you feel you have an addictive personality, then this book might help you to see that pattern. I recommend it for that purpose. Another book that was my saving grace in ridding my "hold" on another person that was just not good to me is Barbara Rose's "Stop Being the String Along". I feel that if you're in pain over a person, you will receive life changing insight. Give both books a try, they can only help you.

Reading this book was one of the cornerstones & turning points in my recovery from relationship addiction. I read it cover to cover in a few days, rinsed & repeated. It was recommended to me by someone very knowlegable on relationship issues and I recommend it VERY HIGHLY.

This book provides a well-organized look at the way in which our "attachment hunger", as Halpern names it, motivates us to stay in intimate relationships which may or may not be healthy for us. As a Ph.D. student in Clinical Psychology, I found this book to be a welcome bridge between the traditional theories of attachment and my actual life experiences. It was also a wonderful aid in my personal quest to form an identity based not on a "significant-other", but upon myself and my comfort with being alone. This is a book I will be glad to recommend to clients and friends alike, as it offers a practical application to a theory-based problem.