Customer Reviews

How to Capture a Mistress (M/s Studies Books)

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Power exchange is at the core of most BDSM (kinky) relationships. Many men seek relationships that can safely (without personal threat) transfer power from them to a woman. However, as Ms Martin points out, there is a vast difference from a Mistress and a Bitch. This book explores those differences while it also outlines steps a man can take to re-shape himself in ways that will be more appealing to a woman who is, in her own right, seeking a submissive man.

There is another advantage to this book: Ms Martin points out that people who fill out lists of kinky activities that may or may not interest them rather limit their playing field. I'll leave it to you to buy the book and read this section on your own, but I assuure you that despite extensive reading in this field, I have never before seen such a compelling reason to re-think the process of identifying common play areas with a potential play partner. Very creative and useful.

This is my first review of a book. In thinking about how I would start, I found myself thinking about the author, that I would describe her as caring, intelligent, thoughtful! one of the sharpest tacks in the box, and funny! I recommend anyone looking for a mistress put themselves in her hands, throw themselves into the book, follow her instructions, do as this mistress says. It will help me (your future mistresses) notice you and see your attractive qualities! While I bought the book to learn what her advice was to men, I found myself engrossed, and learning how to be a more discerning person. She gives us all utter permission to be our better selves and have more satisfaction from it. What a fabulous book!

Ms. Martin states that you don't have to be a complete spineless male to be a submissive just that you have to feel safe and have such a level of trust that is beyond "normal" comprehension. This book also explains that being a "submissive male" doesn't make you weak just a man that is "man enough" to let go and trust a woman on a level that on the Mistress/slave can udnerstand. I have been in the BDSM scene for over 10 years and never have I read such an excellent book since "Screw the Roses" by Molly Devon.

The author has addressed the basics of how to find a compatible partner for kink activities in a refreshing, logical and workable manner. No matter where on the BDSM spectrum you are this book addresses a practical approach to determining your needs, not just your wants. She builds from there in a systematic fashion ways to find your kink partner, how to approach her in an acceptable fashion and reap positive results. The crowning point of this primer is her discussion of negotiations and how to both listen actively and communicate effectively.

The author liberally illustrates with real life examples both successful outcomes and the the faux pas that happen to even the most experienced players in the world of kink. Most importantly she provides a blueprint for achieving a submissive man's most cherished goal....finding a Mistress.

In the world of kink there are infinite variables. Ms. Martin approaches the task of How to Capture a Mistress with easy to read understandable methodology using logical progression. She encompasses insights for both the novice and experienced to achieve their goals. She has managed to include fantasy and reality mixed with a dash of humor making this a very desirable how to book with panache.

Hallmark card - $3.99, Godiva Gift basket - $32.50 and up, Leather pants - $69.00 and up. This book? Priceless! It is a must have for every man seeking that elusive Mistress.
(Note: It is an equally useful tool as a communication base for Ladies of quality as well.)

If there were New York Times best seller list for kink books I would expect to see this book at number one for a very long time. I give it an unequivocal two thumbs up.

CC
BRC Editor
[...]

I enjoyed this book and found it applicable even as a female. The
introspection and focus on bringing yourself up to par with your wants was
very helpful and presented an interesting way to look at finding someone
right for you. I particularly enjoyed the humourous take on the realities of
the kink world and the practical advice for entering it. All in all, a
short, fun read with some good tips and interesting points.

What I liked so much about this book was how Karen Martin encourages her readers to seek out healthy, nourishing, real-life D/s relationships. She helps submissives recognize their own strengths and gives them realistic guidelines for communicating what they can offer to a potential mistress. Another bonus is that Martin addresses polyamorous D/s relationships, how to share, and what it takes for low and high protocol mistresses, slaves, and masters to live together in one household. I thought this book was such an excellent, intelligent approach to BDSM in general that I loaned it to my open-minded but non-kinky therapist to help her learn more about my lifestyle!

I have never met Karen Martin but I do know her slave that she references in this book. On several occasions she mentions that he captured her and convinced her to be his mistress. Yet by the end of this book, I can't say I understand how he did that. Their story could have been an excellent illusion of how one man purposely pursued and won a dominant lady.

The basic ideas are solid, the basic theories are good but repeatedly as I read and took notes I made the same notation: Give me more examples, information, references, and proofs. If the target audience is some man who wants a mistress you must assume he knows next to nothing about either socializing with women or about what Ds honestly is. He must be lead piece by piece, example by multiple example, just as you would any student. As I read I tried to put myself into the mind of such a man and the result was that my mind just generated far more questions and desired more examples; somewhere between 10-20 pages more information and expansion on the ideas.

I also did not feel that enough time was spent on the lives of the average woman. Ask my husband and my slave both: they will tell you that living with a woman, dominant, submissive, or spouse, is a challenge in and of it's own right; I hear that from all the men I know. How much do you know about a woman's body? Not just in terms of sex but in terms of how it works or does not work, gender condition in our society and it's affects on how we communicate, think, and feel. There's a basic level of knowledge you can acquire that will put you head and shoulders above the vast majority of men. I think that can be tackled in 10+ pages of information and stories.

I do want to say that this book is an excellent start and the layout is quite wonderful from a teaching perspective. The idea of charting and making a plan will probably work for many men. The trick will be for those readers to do the actual work required. Anyone thinking he'll pick up this book, read it through then be set is in for a big and disappointing surprise: this is only a basic guide.

As a basic guide, this is a good start, a good structure for the reader to utilize if he is serious. This book offers advice and a few examples of how to go beyond the common philosophical treatises.