Most Helpful Customer Reviews
41 of 46 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
ABSOLUTELY OUTSTANDING ! I just got it, and read it, January 21, 2005
This review is from: How to Change Anybody: Proven Techniques to Reshape Anyone's Attitude, Behavior, Feelings, or Beliefs (Hardcover)
Dr. Lieberman has always been one of my favorite self-help authors. His books are lean and to the point, and most importantly deliver.
While I don't think you can change anything about anyone, all of the time, these technqiues are not likely to miss too often. The best is on how to help people who don't have much self-esteem. Great stuff and easy to understand. I highly reccomend it to anyone who wants to help those in their lives to be better people. Great for therapists too!
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
49 of 56 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Shallow, superficial, September 17, 2006
This review is from: How to Change Anybody: Proven Techniques to Reshape Anyone's Attitude, Behavior, Feelings, or Beliefs (Hardcover)
Great title, poor product.
The only way to permanently change anyone's behavior is to change their mindset. And it is not possible to change ones mindset with the simplistic examples presented in this book.
Some examples in the book came from Cialdini's Influence Science and Practice. However Cialdini went into great detail explaining the underlying theory behind the behavior and how behavior was influenced. Lieberman on the other hand just skimmed over the underlying theory. Simnply suggesting simple techniques for changing behavior. If things were that simple, all the professional psychiatrists and psychologists would be out of a job.
The book tried to cover too much material and therefore could only cover it in a superficial manner.
The examples were rather simple and there was no indepth discussion of what happens when the person you are trying to change does not react in the way that Lieberman suggest they will. People are not single dimension creatures. People are extremely complex and by the time they are adults, their mindset is deeply ingrained. A very small percentage of adults make significant permanent changes.
I rarely dispose of a book that I read. This will be a rare exception. I find no reason to keep it for future reference.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
overtitled but insightful, January 25, 2008
Lieberman's basic assumption is that most people want to be liked, want to be reasonable, and want to act in such a way as to increase the chances of getting what they ultimately want. If you can hack into their motivations, you can tap that energy, and through subtly addressing these drives and motivations you can engineer win/win attitude and behavioral shifts. Sometimes this might even be the case.
The book is broken down into four general sections, encompassing 29 more specific chapters. The general sections focus on changing a person's values and beliefs, their emotional state, "plastic surgery for the personality", and altering attitudes and behavior. Within those general subjects, and one cannot conceive of subjects much more general than these, are chapters covering changes such as "change a stingy person into a generous one" or "make anyone more interested in anything" and "make anyone more moral and ethical".
The advice Lieberman gives is fine so far as it goes. His appreciation of psychology and motivation is deep and appears sound to this layman. Once the general 'problem' with an individual is identified and explained, the author will recommend and illustrate a series of potential strategies to be used to deal with and alter the behavior. At least none of these will make the matter worse. Some may help, if the other person is calm, acts rationally, and is willing to listen. Of course, the problem in real life is that so many people who have serious personality or behavioral issues do not simply sit there are react as rational and calm people would hope or expect.
The good part is that the book is worth reading perhaps mostly to gain greater understanding or confirmation of the motivations of other people or oneself. The less good part is that exactly those people who act most exasperatingly are those most resistant to self examination, reflection and consideration, and serious change. They can perhaps be temporarily manipulated into doing one thing; but over the long term, personalities are not as malleable or subject to molding by outside influences, especially when this influence is limited to a few lines of dialogue or conversation.
As such, then, I think the book's title promises far too much. Lieberman has good understanding of people, and writes very clearly; at least some of his examples and illustrations are well considered. But don't expect to read this and be able to hypnotize and manipulate your friends and foes the following week.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
|
