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How to Change Anybody: Proven Techniques to Reshape Anyone's Attitude, Behavior, Feelings, or Beliefs Paperback – December 27, 2005

3.3 out of 5 stars 19 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“A fascinating book.” ―National Public Radio on Never Be Lied To Again

“It cuts to the chase presenting simple, concise techniques...useful strategies rooted in basic human psychology and supported by numerous studies.” ―Publishers Weekly on Get Anyone to Do Anything

From the Back Cover

Finally, the book that shows you how to do the impossible: get someone to change, for the better.

Don't let crazy people drive you crazy. Don't let annoying, obnoxious, petty people get under your skin. Whether it's your kids, spouse, friend, client, patient, or coworker, you have the power to make it better. Before you break up with your boyfriend, fire your employee, or write off your mother-in-law, try changing them into someone new. With clear, prescriptive techniques, How to Change Anybody tells you how to:
* Inspire loyalty.
* Turn anyone's mood around fast.
* Stop stubborn behavior.
* Turn a lazy bum into an ambitious go-getter.
* Stop passive aggressive behavior.
* And much more!
David Lieberman is an expert in simple behavioral strategies that work every time. These tried-and-true techniques will truly give you the tools to change anyone―and, in the process, to change your life!

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; Reprint edition (December 27, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312324758
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312324759
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,871,001 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

David J. Lieberman. Ph.D. is an award-winning author and internationally recognized leader in the fields of human behavior and interpersonal relationships. Techniques based on his five books, which have been translated into eighteen languages and include two New York Times bestsellers, are used by the FBI, The Department of the Navy, Fortune 500 companies, and by governments and corporations in more than twenty-five countries. He has been appeared as a guest expert on more than two hundred programs such as The Today Show, Fox News, and The View, and his work has been featured in publications around the world. Dr. Lieberman, whose Ph.D. is in psychology, lectures and holds workshops across the country on a variety of topics.

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
Lieberman's basic assumption is that most people want to be liked, want to be reasonable, and want to act in such a way as to increase the chances of getting what they ultimately want. If you can hack into their motivations, you can tap that energy, and through subtly addressing these drives and motivations you can engineer win/win attitude and behavioral shifts. Sometimes this might even be the case.

The book is broken down into four general sections, encompassing 29 more specific chapters. The general sections focus on changing a person's values and beliefs, their emotional state, "plastic surgery for the personality", and altering attitudes and behavior. Within those general subjects, and one cannot conceive of subjects much more general than these, are chapters covering changes such as "change a stingy person into a generous one" or "make anyone more interested in anything" and "make anyone more moral and ethical".

The advice Lieberman gives is fine so far as it goes. His appreciation of psychology and motivation is deep and appears sound to this layman. Once the general 'problem' with an individual is identified and explained, the author will recommend and illustrate a series of potential strategies to be used to deal with and alter the behavior. At least none of these will make the matter worse. Some may help, if the other person is calm, acts rationally, and is willing to listen. Of course, the problem in real life is that so many people who have serious personality or behavioral issues do not simply sit there are react as rational and calm people would hope or expect.

The good part is that the book is worth reading perhaps mostly to gain greater understanding or confirmation of the motivations of other people or oneself.
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Format: Hardcover
Dr. Lieberman has always been one of my favorite self-help authors. His books are lean and to the point, and most importantly deliver.

While I don't think you can change anything about anyone, all of the time, these technqiues are not likely to miss too often. The best is on how to help people who don't have much self-esteem. Great stuff and easy to understand. I highly reccomend it to anyone who wants to help those in their lives to be better people. Great for therapists too!
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Great title, poor product.

The only way to permanently change anyone's behavior is to change their mindset. And it is not possible to change ones mindset with the simplistic examples presented in this book.

Some examples in the book came from Cialdini's Influence Science and Practice. However Cialdini went into great detail explaining the underlying theory behind the behavior and how behavior was influenced. Lieberman on the other hand just skimmed over the underlying theory. Simnply suggesting simple techniques for changing behavior. If things were that simple, all the professional psychiatrists and psychologists would be out of a job.

The book tried to cover too much material and therefore could only cover it in a superficial manner.

The examples were rather simple and there was no indepth discussion of what happens when the person you are trying to change does not react in the way that Lieberman suggest they will. People are not single dimension creatures. People are extremely complex and by the time they are adults, their mindset is deeply ingrained. A very small percentage of adults make significant permanent changes.

I rarely dispose of a book that I read. This will be a rare exception. I find no reason to keep it for future reference.
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Format: Hardcover
Personally I like very much the author's provision of tons of techniques/solutions to various scenarios organised in individual chapters. However, as per those negative reviews here, this tactical and scenario based style of writing may not satisfy the needs and tastes of some readers.

To make the best use of it, one may need to know his/her own question/problem/objective well before applying the technique/tactic suggested by the author. The catch is that the technique described in Chapter/Scenario/Problem A may be more powerful in Chapter/Scenario/Probelm B. In short, this is a very demanding book, and the applicant must be very flexible and smart himself/herself. However, if you really wanna acquire some good skillset to enhance your personal relationship, this is it. Highly recommended!

p.s. The story on page 62 about how a sage turned a mad prince, who thought that he was a turkey, back to normal (at least behavior wise) is really mind blowing!
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Format: Hardcover
I was amazed at how helpful and easy to read this book was. I used one of the techniques on a friend of mine and I was shocked at how much it helped her see a situation in a more positive and healthy way . Recomend highly!
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Format: Paperback
This book presents strategies to deal with bullies, passive aggression and gossip, as well as offering some great strategies to motivate people; it even has techniques for lifting friends out of depression! Although on the surface this would appear to be a claim to achieve the impossible, the ideas are clearly put, and the psychological principles behind them are completely sound.

One point I would disagree with is the conventional assumption that bullies and manipulative people come from a position of low self-esteem. George K Simon in his book 'In Sheeps Clothing', argues strongly that these people come from a position of SUPER HIGH self-esteem. For example, after a divorce, a challenging child may seek out emotional hot-buttons. These buttons are usually feelings of guilt, which can be triggered as the manipulator uses them in order to get their own way. When these individuals find that they can operate their victim in this way, they may feel a great sense of power. I think that we all recognise phrases like: 'It's not fair', 'If you loved me you wouldn't do/say that', 'Why do you always pick on me', etc. and when we hear these sorts of phrases we feel that awful feeling of having been manipulated. These phrases really need a reaction of stepping into a detached persona to assess whether the comment is justified, or whether it is just an identified guilt button being pressed! In addition, manipulative people usually possess another trait. If you ask a manipulative person to do something for you, you will probably find that they have an abundance of reasons why it can't be done - these people often have an answer for everything; and yes, this answer often implies that YOU (or someone else) have done something to make their life/task difficult!
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