How Children Raise Parents: The Art of Listening to Your Family [Paperback]

Dan B. Allender (Author)

Book Description

Release date: February 15, 2005

Parenting with Humility...We often realize that we learn as much from our children as they learn from us. So why don’t parents approach the task of child-rearing as a learning experience, rather than a mandate to make sure their kids succeed in life?

To reduce the pressure and enjoy greater closeness in your family, turn your parenting upside-down by allowing God to use your children to help you grow up. Imagine what would happen if you began to prize what you’re being taught by your children’s quirks, failures, and normal childhood dilemmas, rather than worrying about whether you’re doing everything right as a parent. Now you can let go of the pressure to make sure your children succeed, and instead learn to grow into spiritual maturity by listening to your children.


From the Hardcover edition.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dan B. Allender, Ph.D. is the father of Anna, Amanda, and Andrew and the husband of Rebecca. He is president of Mars Hill Graduate School in Seattle, Washington, and professor of counseling there. He is also a psychologist, speaker, writer, and fly fisherman. Dr. Allender is the author of The Wounded Heart, Bold Love, Intimate Allies, and The Healing Path. For more practical resources for parenting and the spiritual life, visit his website at www.thepathlesschosen.com


From the Hardcover edition.

From AudioFile

Allender's earnest diatribe intends to help parents understand, relate to, and empathize with their kids. It succeeds only about 40% of the time, for the author's tendency to warn, preach, and coat parenting with saccharin will lose all but the most devoted listener. When he describes his own parenting problems in the Allender household, it's like a suffocatingly self-righteous episode of "The Brady Bunch." If you're looking for parenting guidance, you might want to dust off good old Dr. Spock, or better still, Dr. Seuss. D.J.B. © AudioFile 2003, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: WaterBrook Press; New edition edition (February 15, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 140007052X
• ISBN-13: 978-1400070527
• Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.6 x 9.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #214,670 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Dan Allender received his MDiv from Westminster Theological Seminary and his PhD in counseling psychology from Michigan State University.

Dan taught in the biblical counseling department of Grace Theological Seminary for seven years (1983-1989). From 1989-1997 he worked as a professor in the Master of Arts in biblical counseling program at Colorado Christian University, Denver, Colorado. Currently, Dan serves as president and professor of counseling at Mars Hill Graduate School in Bothell, Washington.

He travels and speaks extensively to present his unique perspective on sexual abuse recovery, love and forgiveness, worship, and other related topics. He is the author of "The Wounded Heart" (NavPress), "The Healing Path," and "How Children Raise Parents" (Waterbrook Press) and has coauthored four books with Dr. Tremper Longman, III--"Intimate Allies" (Tyndale House Publishers), "The Cry of the Soul" (NavPress), "Bold Love" (NavPress), and "Bold Purpose," (Tyndale House Publishers). He and his wife, Rebecca, live in the Puget Sound area with their three children, Annie, Amanda, and Andrew.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 38 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Become a Great Parent God's Way September 16, 2003

By GRB

Format:Hardcover

I have enjoyed Allender's books for years. He has the uncanny ability to take a difficult issue and make it understandable through clear writing, personal stories and scriptural references. This book shows how we can reflect the character of God into the lives of our children. Allender explains that our success as parents relate primarily to how we answer a child's two core questions: (1) Am I loved? and (2) Can I get my own way? As parents, we are to imitate God, the perfect parent, by providing both mercy and unconditional love on the one hand, and strength and discipline on the other. Read this book. It will help you lead a life with your kids that is in the middle of God's strength and mercy. Along the way, your kids may teach you a few things about yourself, as well as God!

22 of 26 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars This Is a Parenting Book Unlike Any Other August 19, 2003

By A Customer

Format:Hardcover

Dr. Dan Allender's book on parenting is truly revolutionary and will change each readers perspective on who teaches the most: the parents or the children. His humorous personal stories weave into his lessons to make this one of the few parenting or "self-help" books that is harder to put down than the most griping novels. The brilliance of this book is that it redefines the parent-child relationship and shows you how to effectively handle the ups and downs of parenting. Dr. Allender's message has helped me be a better parent, and I have no doubt that I will always keep it close at hand to reread in any time of need or joy.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars A must for grace centered parents November 6, 2007

By Matthew Morine VINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This is a powerful book in parenting. It was recommended by a good friend of mine, Dale Sadler. He is a school counselor and a youth minister. He knows about parenting and does parenting seminars for congregations. He is great. He did not disappoint in suggesting this book. Most parenting books deal with seven laws of good parenting, but true parenting is never as easy as practicing some laws or skills. It is a messy work of failing and succeeding. The author talks about how Christians can use the work of parenting to bring them closer to God. If we truly listen to our children we can have a positive impact on our kids. He highlights two major questions that all children ask: "Am I loved?" and "Can I get my own way?" The tension of these question is what makes parenting difficult. In this book you will find grace and love, and not some much seven rules for being a parent.