Customer Reviews

How We Choose to Be Happy: The 9 Choices of Extremely Happy People--Their Secrets, Their Stories

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I am a happy person. I won't go so far as saying I am wise, but I did not become happier by accident. It was a conscious choice.

I read "How We Choose to Be Happy" to see if the authors had come to the same conclusions I had. They did. I have been carrying a small card around with me since 1996. It says things like "experience & express gratitude," "make happiness a priority," and "be present." It's amazing how many of the choices listed in this book are on my old beat up card. Maybe it's not a coincidence.

In our culture there is this odd belief that you must be an idiot if you're happy. I have no idea how this myth got started but I have found just the opposite to be true. It takes a logical mind to see where choice is involved in our emotions. My life circumstances are not totally how I would like them to be. I decided to not wait for ideal conditions before I experienced joy. I figured out that I could experience happiness WHILE creating the life I wanted. If I waited for everything to be perfectly how I wanted it to be, I concluded I might be waiting a very, very long time.

Get the book. Make it personal by seeing how the choices might apply in your life. Why wait?

While many of us work very hard, few of us can sincerely claim to be truely fulfilled and genuinely happy. From analysis of the life stories of many genuinely happy people, Hicks and Foster synthesize a simple yet powerful and practical model for achieving happiness in our daily lifes.

Though "How We Choose to be Happy" is not a psychology book, the Nine Step Model is firmly founded in Human Potential psychology. All we Humans want to be in control of our lives. When we aren't in control we feel powerless, victimized and possibly alienated. When we are in control, we feel powerful, actualized and HAPPY. This well written book helps us recognize a straight forward path toward greater personal control of our lives and the rewarding happiness that results.

I highly recommend for old and young--anyone searching for more complete meaning in their lifes.

Richard Neslund

I wish that I could give everyone this book! When I read this book in my mid-30s, I had come to the sad conclusion that I was somehow incapable of being happy. I had everything I'd ever wanted -- a wonderful husband and two adorable children whom I loved very much, a great job with a good income, etc., etc. And yet I kept falling into despair ... I couldn't figure out how to be happy, and finally decided that my brain was just not "wired" for happiness. But when I stumbled across this book a few years ago, it changed everything. Of course, I still have normal bad days, times when I feel sad or discouraged. But it's different now -- I don't despair -- I know that I'm finally learned how to be truly happy, and nothing can take that away from me now. READ THIS BOOK!!

The author's outline of the "9 choices of extremely happy people" seems fairly complete: intention (to be happy), accountability (for one's own happiness), identification (of what makes one happy), centralization (making working towards happiness central in daily life), recasting (interpretation of tragic or unhappy experiences for redeeming value), options, appreciation, giving, and truth. I like that their "outline" doesn't require one to necessarily rely on a religious or supernatural belief that not everyone will necessarily share, nor do they have a one-size-fits-all approach that equates success with happiness. Although I don't really want some psychologist, self-help author, or religious leader to prescribe a detailed magic formuala for happiness, other people may miss having a detailed course of "what do we do now?" Another weakness (unavoidable) is that the author's acknowledge that perhaps only 50% of happiness is voluntary, the other half may be genetically or biologically determined, that is hardwired into us. Still, we have to start somewhere. I think that the 9 choices are useful to evaluating the way we leading our lives and making some improvement.

I think a lot of us suspect that happiness doesn't actually spring from weiging less, getting rich or getting someone to love you. Plenty of books tell you what won't make you happy. But where does happiness come from, then? The authors of this book make it clear that it doesn't come from the Happiness Fairy, it comes as a result of certain decisions that anyone can make. I was very fortunate to come across an excerpt from this book in a review, on the fridge of a family friend. It listed the steps one must take in order to be happy. At the time, I was 21 years old, miserable and desperate, wanting to leave what I now know was a very abusive relationship. I was so beaten down emotionally that the idea that my happiness was important, that I needed to "intend" to be happy and to make it central to my life (2 of the steps), was astounding. I could do that?? Close to the end of the relationship (coincidentally?), I got this book. It was exactly what I needed. I learned how to figure out what things would make me happy and to take responsibility for doing those things. It's not about being selfish. Only truly happy people can be truly generous. This book was an important part of me leaving that person, getting back in school, taking care of myself for real, rebuilding my life. Nowadays, I am a happy person with a life that I love, and I periodically go back through the steps, because what makes you happy changes. As people have said, happiness is a way, not a goal. I would recommend this book to anyone, period. It was truthful, it was simple, it was helpful--not intrusive or dictating, just factual with that ring of clarity and common sense. It's not flighty or self-centered to want to be happy, it's the necessary first step to a life worth living through. You can make the choice too. It's work, but it's worth it!

I was somewhat on the fence about buying this book, but the "choose" in the title is what sold me. I'd just reviewed Stephen Covey's concept of proactivity being based on choice and I wondered if this would lead in the same direction. I found it did. My experience with Covey was that he was the business leader who expressed a system that focused on balancing what is best for the individual with the organization goals, as opposed to the barrage of downsizing, MBO, reengineering, etc. books that basically preached focus on the bottom line and the process, forget the people.

This book focuses how an indivdual can change their life via the choices made on a daily basis. The examples of leadership and personnal growth that are chronicled in this book are the bedrocks of both happy lives and successful enterprises. Anyone who has worked or lived among morose, downtrodden and dispair ridden coworkers or family members can see the value and potential in people who come to the realizations outlined in this book. The individual transformations outlined in the book are similar to those I have seen in coworkers and family members over the past 20 years. Also, I can say that the areas in my own life that are not all I'd like them to be are in some way "out of alignment" with a principle outlined in this book. Overall, it is right on target.

"Happy" is probably one of the first words we learnt in our life. It is important enough. However, how many of us are really consciously seeking the REAL happiness ? This book can facilitate this consciousness, and self discovery ... who am I, what do I really want ?

The book is easy to read. The authors systematize their happiness concepts to aid understanding. They provide simple tools and raise straightforward questions to help readers to reflect. There are examples of life scenarios that we commonly face.

There are positive messages (e.g. we choose our own feeling, turning negative emotions to positive energy) that make people feel good. You may find certain contents similar to other self help books. These can bore you, but it is natural to find some life principles appear before us often.

Suggest you don't read it in a rush. Give full attention, and take time to reflect. This can maximize the book's values to you.

I am typically skeptical about books that claim they can teach people how to be happy, since the entire notion of "happiness" varies widely from person to person. After reading this book, however, I must admit that this if one of the better-- and more realistic-- efforts on this particular topic.

Whereas Hicks & Foster do teach workshops, this is not exactly a book about their "method," nor a thinly veiled sales picth for their seminars. Rather, it's a summary of the extensive research the they did, in an attempt to discover the commonalities between people generally regarded as uncommonly happy.

The book outlines and explains nine choices happy people seem to universally have in common, illustrating and explaining each in a separate chapter. Each chapter includes anecdotes from people the authors interviewed, as well as exercises and suggestions on how readers can incorporate them into their own lives. At the beginning of the book, readers are invited to "self-test" on the each of the nine choices, and may discover (as I did) that they are already doing quite well in certain areas while having serious "gaps" in others. The final chapter of the book brings together the nine parts and explains the synergy involved in working with them all together.

Whether we can truly learn happiness from a book I don't know. However, this particular book is well-organized and easy to read, and I especially appreciated the authors' framing of happiness as a *choice* we make, rather than as something we "get" from the world around us. Although there is no wealth of "new" material in this book (i.e. that isn't covered by other, similar, books), I found several new and useful insights. I also liked their emphasis on inviting readers to discover what happiness means to THEM, rather than just following prescribed social stereotypes of what happinbes "should" be.

Final thoughts: Highly recommended (9 out of 10 possible bookmarks). An easy-to-read book, perhaps most useful to those in the earlier stages of their journey of self discovery. Do allow yourself time to do the exercises as you read.

Thanks for reading!
Peter

This book inspired, capitivated, and challenged me to grow. The wheel of happiness that Foster and Hicks illustrate is a method that works and has been integrated into my life. This book really can be life-changing if you have the patience and courage to take life by the hand and run with what it offers you. I have always been the type of person that plans everything out to the last detail, but recently I have just been going with the flow, but really having a say in what I want to do with every second of my life. I look at my intentions in doing things and hold my self accountable for my decisions. This book is well-written and should be required reading for anyone who wants to live life to the absolute fullest!

HOW WE CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY dispels the myth that we have emotional set points and are stuck with whatever level of satisfaction we normally feel, in lives primarily influenced by luck of the draw.

Authors Foster and Hicks traveled the world to interview the happiest people referred to them in each town they visited, discovering that the happiest people in the world have made nine life choices in common. Significantly, it became clear that when these nine principles are adopted, they radically improve peoples' happiness in life regardless of what is going on around them.

The realizations in HOW WE CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY are so clearly stated with abundant examples of people who are merely cheerful, or in denial, rather than genuninely happy that their nine principles become more clearly outlined.

The big idea here is that happiness is a choice, or more precisely a series of choices, and when we choose to move our lives toward happiness by making changes to ourselves from the inside out, we can experience tremendous improvements in feelings of increased inner joy, peace and health.

Our health and wellbeing lies in our happiness... and when we realize that our happiness is a new way of life, this book becomes a much-needed guide to finding out just how good life can be. I give this book my highest recommendation.