The Secret to Building Better Relationships in Business and in Life
With some people, you just click. The connection is quick and easy. Communication flows. You can tell them anything and they know just what you mean. When you connect in this way, you feel understood and accepted for who you really are. You "get" these people and they get you.
We think of this connection as an instantaneous thing, something that either happens or doesn't. Not so, says author Dr. Rick Kirschner. This connection isn't a magical phenomenon; it's a communication skill that can be learned with specific steps and techniques. Based on the author's three decades of experience as an interpersonal communication expert, How to Click with People will show you how to:
- Recognize and respond effectively to the four basic communication styles everyone uses;
- Speak the same language as the person you're talking to, whether emotional or intellectual;
- Connect in a digital age ruled by e-mail and social media;
- Master the 7 Signals that will make you—and your ideas—click with others;
- Troubleshoot the nine obstacles that could be in your way and learn how to avoid or overcome them.
In the end, Kirschner argues that these skills are crucial because success has less to do with professional knowledge than with "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." In this How to Win Friends and Influence People for the twenty-first century, he gives readers the advice and insights they need to strengthen their relationships and take charge of their future.
Praise for How to Click with People
“Clicking with people isn’t something that just happens or doesn’t. In this practical and engaging new book, Dr. Rick Kirschner gives readers the skills they need to stop depending on chance and start actively clicking with people at work and in life.”
—Stephen Lundin, bestselling coauthor of Fish!
“Both enjoyable to read and full of easy to apply ideas, How to Click with People is a comprehensive explanation of how to connect with the people in your life. If you want to build better relationships, I recommend it.”
—Mark Sanborn, bestselling author of The Fred Factor
“Wise people know that the future is all about people, and Rick Kirschner’s new book How to Click with People is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand and use the transformative power of relationships both in business and in life.”
—Daniel Burrus, author of the New York Times bestseller Flash Foresight
Frequently Bought Together
Editorial Reviews
About the Author
Dr. Rick Kirschner is an international bestselling author, including Dealing With People You Can't Stand: How To Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst, Love They customer, and Insider's Guide to the Art of Persuasion. Dr. Kirschner is a faculty member of the Institute for Management Studies, and an adjunct professor at Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine.
Product Details
Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images? |
More About the Author
Dr. Rick Kirschner has delivered motivational speeches and training programs on The Art of Change to some of the best known organizations in the world, including NASA, Progressive Insurance, Starbucks, Texas Instruments and Toys R'Us. And he's delivered his ideas and advice on communication, persuasion and conflict resolution through radio and television appearances, newspaper and magazine articles and interviews, from CNBC to CBC to FOX to the Wall Street Journal, in USA Today,the London Times, Executive Excellence, Selling Power, and Readers Digest.
He is the author of the comprehensive audio communication training program, 'Insider's Guide To The Art of Persuasion,' and the Hyperion book, 'How To Click With People: The Secret to Better Relationships in Business And In Life." He is coauthor of the international bestseller, Dealing With People You Can't Stand: How To Bring Out The Best In People At Their Worst,' now in a third revised edition with more problem people (meddlers, martyrs and hypercritical judges) and strategic solutions!
The Art of Change Skills for Life™ presentations blend people-friendly humor and savvy expertise with practical skills and compelling content on connection, communication and positive change. Audiences have fun, get to know themselves, and gain a palette of attitudes and behaviors that help them to change their lives, relationships and businesses for the better.
He is the author of the comprehensive audio communication training program, 'Insider's Guide To The Art of Persuasion,' and the Hyperion book, 'How To Click With People: The Secret to Better Relationships in Business And In Life." He is coauthor of the international bestseller, Dealing With People You Can't Stand: How To Bring Out The Best In People At Their Worst,' now in a third revised edition with more problem people (meddlers, martyrs and hypercritical judges) and strategic solutions!
The Art of Change Skills for Life™ presentations blend people-friendly humor and savvy expertise with practical skills and compelling content on connection, communication and positive change. Audiences have fun, get to know themselves, and gain a palette of attitudes and behaviors that help them to change their lives, relationships and businesses for the better.
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
This book tells you a lot more than just how to click with people. It is a generalized treatment of relations and communications geared toward the business setting.
The author builds first from practical steps on interpersonal relations, next to general individual relations theory, then on to general communications, relations, and motivation in the group setting.
The author peppers this offering periodically with a callback to the title: *click!*, we are often reminded. As I read along initially, I thought about what a labored connection that sometimes was, how it wasn't quite accurate at all times, and how I was going to write bad things about it. Later I realized that what the author is offering is some fairly old wine in a nice new bottle with a *click!* label on it.
I want to be clear that that is not of necessity a bad thing. There are a great many truths that we should be reminded of regularly in novel and different ways (think organized religion). And I think that these concepts are certainly among them, and that *click!* is a nice bit of marketing which, I note, certainly worked on me (I did buy and read the book, after all).
The underlying principle, stated once or twice, but not frequently, is that business is a social endeavor, and that if you are not good with people, you will never succeed. This message would be a huge waste of time for my wife, but for me, it should be repeated again and again.
I think it's peculiar that a book that asks to be used as a reference (p. 5) does not include an index. Nevertheless, I will be retaining this book and referring back to it frequently, I expect.
The author builds first from practical steps on interpersonal relations, next to general individual relations theory, then on to general communications, relations, and motivation in the group setting.
The author peppers this offering periodically with a callback to the title: *click!*, we are often reminded. As I read along initially, I thought about what a labored connection that sometimes was, how it wasn't quite accurate at all times, and how I was going to write bad things about it. Later I realized that what the author is offering is some fairly old wine in a nice new bottle with a *click!* label on it.
I want to be clear that that is not of necessity a bad thing. There are a great many truths that we should be reminded of regularly in novel and different ways (think organized religion). And I think that these concepts are certainly among them, and that *click!* is a nice bit of marketing which, I note, certainly worked on me (I did buy and read the book, after all).
The underlying principle, stated once or twice, but not frequently, is that business is a social endeavor, and that if you are not good with people, you will never succeed. This message would be a huge waste of time for my wife, but for me, it should be repeated again and again.
I think it's peculiar that a book that asks to be used as a reference (p. 5) does not include an index. Nevertheless, I will be retaining this book and referring back to it frequently, I expect.
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars
Practical, useful suggestions for getting along well with others.
August 25, 2011
By rlweaverii
Format:Hardcover
Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
The first thing I looked for when I opened this book was a section on "Notes," or "References," or "Other Readings," or anything that would give you a clue that Kirschner reached outside of himself and his own personal resources to write this book. There are none at all. There isn't even an index to the book.
The second thing I looked for when I opened this book -- after finding no sources of any kind! -- was the degree to which Kirschner's information is accurate. I think there is no question on this; however, I found most of what he said to be common sense and common knowledge. Anyone who operates in the world today--in any capacity, I might add -- knows and uses this information. Do we need it codified for us? Probably not. Does Kirschner add anything to the communication world? Not very much.
All that being said, did I find Kirschner's suggestions for dealing with troublesome others to be valuable or even useful? Yes, I did. And I believe that any book, article, set of information, or advice that helps people get along well (or better) with others is worthwhile. This book is full of hundreds of practical, useful suggestions for getting along well with others.
For my own level of expertise in this area, I had a college textbook, UNDERSTANDING INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION that went through seven editions, and I have a best selling popular book, RELATIONSHIP RULES: FOR LONG-TERM HAPPINESS, SECURITY, AND COMMITMENT that covers much of the same valuable information. Sections on how to deal with conflict are prominent in both of these books.
In Chapter 7, "Clicking Electronically," I found it interesting that Kirschner deals with clicking over the phone, clicking using e-mail, and clicking when using social networks, however, he never mentions clicking via texting. Admittedly, many of the suggestions for clicking using e-mail would be useful and appropriate, but a separate section on texting would make the book more up-to-date.
What I appreciated throughout the book was Kirschner's emphasis on the importance of listening. Despite the context, everyone is likely to fair better if he or she begins with a listening perspective. He reveals the importance of listening by offering "A Short Course on Listening," in Chapter 3, then refers back to that information throughout this 254-page book. The topic of "listening" should be a prominent part of ANY book that deals with relationships or effective communication.
This is a "how-to" book designed for beginners--those with little or no experience in the world of relationships, getting along with others, making connections, being successful, developing meaningful associations, and communicating effectively.
One of the keys to success is captured by Kirscher when he says, "Stumbling blocks can cause a lot of frustration, and removing the stumbling block may require patience, flexibility, and determination" (p. 218). Patience, flexibility, and determination--no matter the context, issue, or people involved--is what effectiveness is all about. Often, we demand instant success or instant results, and the world of getting along with others doesn't usually operate at that speed.
The first thing I looked for when I opened this book was a section on "Notes," or "References," or "Other Readings," or anything that would give you a clue that Kirschner reached outside of himself and his own personal resources to write this book. There are none at all. There isn't even an index to the book.
The second thing I looked for when I opened this book -- after finding no sources of any kind! -- was the degree to which Kirschner's information is accurate. I think there is no question on this; however, I found most of what he said to be common sense and common knowledge. Anyone who operates in the world today--in any capacity, I might add -- knows and uses this information. Do we need it codified for us? Probably not. Does Kirschner add anything to the communication world? Not very much.
All that being said, did I find Kirschner's suggestions for dealing with troublesome others to be valuable or even useful? Yes, I did. And I believe that any book, article, set of information, or advice that helps people get along well (or better) with others is worthwhile. This book is full of hundreds of practical, useful suggestions for getting along well with others.
For my own level of expertise in this area, I had a college textbook, UNDERSTANDING INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION that went through seven editions, and I have a best selling popular book, RELATIONSHIP RULES: FOR LONG-TERM HAPPINESS, SECURITY, AND COMMITMENT that covers much of the same valuable information. Sections on how to deal with conflict are prominent in both of these books.
In Chapter 7, "Clicking Electronically," I found it interesting that Kirschner deals with clicking over the phone, clicking using e-mail, and clicking when using social networks, however, he never mentions clicking via texting. Admittedly, many of the suggestions for clicking using e-mail would be useful and appropriate, but a separate section on texting would make the book more up-to-date.
What I appreciated throughout the book was Kirschner's emphasis on the importance of listening. Despite the context, everyone is likely to fair better if he or she begins with a listening perspective. He reveals the importance of listening by offering "A Short Course on Listening," in Chapter 3, then refers back to that information throughout this 254-page book. The topic of "listening" should be a prominent part of ANY book that deals with relationships or effective communication.
This is a "how-to" book designed for beginners--those with little or no experience in the world of relationships, getting along with others, making connections, being successful, developing meaningful associations, and communicating effectively.
One of the keys to success is captured by Kirscher when he says, "Stumbling blocks can cause a lot of frustration, and removing the stumbling block may require patience, flexibility, and determination" (p. 218). Patience, flexibility, and determination--no matter the context, issue, or people involved--is what effectiveness is all about. Often, we demand instant success or instant results, and the world of getting along with others doesn't usually operate at that speed.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
There are a number of these types of books out there that claim to be able to identify the behaviors in yourself and others that are keeping you from communicating clearly. Dr. Kirschner's book is the first that gives you the tools to really help you not only identify those behaviors, but correct them when you find yourself talking at cross purposes with someone. It's an easy read and you find yourself almost wanting to deal with those people in your life that have been challenging in the past, be that a boss that doesn't get you or a family member that always winds you up!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars
Good ideas ,oddly poor communication
The author seems to have some very functional ideas yet the book is so full of jargon that he is often difficult to comprehend. This is odd to me, due to the subject of he book.
Published 8 months ago by Heron
4.0 out of 5 stars
WORTH THE READ
The subject is very interesting. Although no one actually studies how to "click" with another person- it is of value when you do. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Bob S
5.0 out of 5 stars
Refreshing!
What a refreshing book to read after the recent chatter about studies saying nice guys finish last in the workplace. They don't have to. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Kathy Asmuth
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fantastic Book
Dr. Kirschner has done a great job in teaching the best ways to interact, communicate, and connect with people. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Aleks
5.0 out of 5 stars
Practical Suggestions for Practical People
"How to Click With People" is a book full of practical suggestions for clicking with anyone on any level. Dr. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Marilyn Cox
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Must-Read!
If you are a business person, interact with others, or simply a member of the human race, you will benefit from reading this book. Dr. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Martha D'Adamo
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fundamental Communication Skills
Dr. Kirschner really has written the updated version of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Dianna Booher
5.0 out of 5 stars
Amazing!
Rick Kirchner's book takes the mystery out of connecting with people. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to dramatically improve their lot in life.
Published 22 months ago by Ross Reck
