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How to Date Men: Dating Secrets from America's Top Matchmaker
 
 
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How to Date Men: Dating Secrets from America's Top Matchmaker [Paperback]

Janis Spindel (Author)
2.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)

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Book Description

August 28, 2007
The hardest part about dating is understanding the mysterious inner workings of a man?s brain. How can women know what men are really looking for if men don?t tell them?

They can ask Janis.

With over fourteen years of experience as a professional matchmaker, Janis Spindel has a unique insider?s perspective on contemporary dating culture. All her clients are men, and they tell her exactly what they want in a relationship. Janis offers women a step-by-step plan for winning a man?s heart, such as:
? It?s okay to ask a guy for his number, as long as you do it with confidence
? Don?t wear your work clothes on a date, ever! Freshen up before meeting a guy
? Pay him a compliment?he?s human. He?ll love it.

Entertaining and empowering, What Men Really Want is the next best thing to a private appointment with the nation?s premier matchmaker.


Frequently Bought Together

How to Date Men: Dating Secrets from America's Top Matchmaker + Get Serious About Getting Married: 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year + Make Every Man Want You: How to Be So Irresistible You'll Barely Keep from Dating Yourself!
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Even if you can afford to hire dating coach Spindel (a talk-show fixture, she doesn't come cheap), this fun-to-read guide provides an economical short-cut to finding, courting and keeping a man. With a light touch, Spindel comes across chatty and sympathetic as a good girlfriend, but with the authority of a wise aunt. Debunking dating myths one by one (yes, you should order dessert with dinner), Spindel mercifully dismisses most dating "games" out of hand: Fashionably late? That's just plain "rude." Text-messaging on a date? The "best place for your cell phone is in your bag." Breezy chapters cover, step-by-step, everything from the first flirtation to planning a future together, breaking down what's going on in his head and hers. Including chapters on romantic getaways and meeting his friends, Spindel graces each stage with ways to "Let Him Down Easy." Easy ways to maintain space and sanity-for both of you-include keeping shopping trips solo, talking problems through calmly and completely, and prepping the folks before they meet your new beau ("Tell your parents not to talk about marriage"). Spindel's common sense approach makes it clear that finding love isn't a matter of hard-and-fast "rules," but a levelheaded mix of knowledge, awareness, observation and preparation.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Product Details

  • Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Plume (August 28, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0452288673
  • ISBN-13: 978-0452288676
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 2.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #118,678 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

11 Reviews
5 star:
 (4)
4 star:
 (1)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:
 (5)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
2.9 out of 5 stars (11 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Save your money!!!, September 11, 2009
This review is from: How to Date Men: Dating Secrets from America's Top Matchmaker (Paperback)
I bought her books and paid money to meet with her and both are a complete rip-off! The books are so boring you will barely get through a page and she isn't telling you anything new so don't waste your money because there are a lot of better books out there. Also, don't be fooled into meeting her because she is a scam artist. She will take your money and set you up on fake "dates" that are really probably friends of hers and the lamest people you could possibly imagine. Then once, after I met with her, I didn't call her back as fast as she wanted me to and she left a pyscho message for me screaming at me. It was unbelievable! Take my advice! Don't waste a penny on this awful person. If you do, I'm sure you will wish you took my advice.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Review from a Professional Matchmaker, September 9, 2010
I would hate for any woman truly trying to figure out how to successfully date men to waste her time or money reading this book. This book has little to no value (offering simplistic and obvious advice) and on occasion gives advice to single women which is shockingly bad considering that it is coming from a professional matchmaker. The 1 star review posted here from "JanisSpindel Hater" may shed light on why this is the case.

In "How to Date Men", Ms. Spindel fails to go beneath the surface to evaluate (1) whether what is being said to her by certain male clients is truly what they want from a future partner and (2) whether what is contained in her book is the proper advice to give women. For example, in her book Ms. Spindel emphatically instructs women to ask men out. Not only does she provide excerpts of what she presumably believes to be witty examples of conversations demonstrating how a woman can make the first move (but which often come across as contrived and trying too hard from any objective point of view), but she even goes so far as to advocate that if all else fails women should bluntly state "I'd like your phone number. Can you handle that?" Perhaps Ms. Spindel would approach a man in that fashion as she advertises herself as being an extremely aggressive woman, however, this is one of the worst pieces of advice that someone can give to single women looking for a partner. No doubt that many men will take women up on such an offer because they are sure to think that a woman who would be that aggressive is bound to be aggressive in other arenas as well ... But whether an offer like that is likely to lead to a long term relationship, not just a rendezvous, is a totally different question. Ms. Spindel's advice goes against all proven science that men need to be the aggressor, need to chase and need to feel uncertain in the beginning about whether a woman is interested in them to sustain their interest. To be sure, there are ways for women to let men know that they are interested which are subtle and sexy but this type of approach is not offered in Ms. Spindel's book.

The book also contains obvious advice such as "don't talk on your cell phone on a date", "don't complain", "don't have bad table manners", etc. (basic Emily Post advice). In all fairness, Ms. Spindel does provide some excellent advice when she encourages women to let the sexual connection build slowly in the beginning and when she encourages women to communicate directly with men (as opposed to being passive/aggressive in their approach).

Overall, however, "How to Date Men" provides a very shallow treatment of the topic at hand often with alarmingly poor advice. I would recommend any John Gray book over this book, Sherry Argov's "Why Men Love Bitches", Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" or even the Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger's "Become Your Own Matchmaker" for a better use of your time and money.

Marni Galison, President and Founder
Sunday at Noon Matchmaking and Events
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Save your time and money., September 27, 2010
By 
Reader (NEW YORK, NY, US) - See all my reviews
This review is from: How to Date Men: Dating Secrets from America's Top Matchmaker (Paperback)
I bought this book as a mandatory requirement in order to meet Janis for a 30 minute $1000 interview. Both a waste of money and time. Please see review by Marni Galison, it expresses the facts perfectly:

"on occasion gives advice to single women which is shockingly bad considering that it is coming from a professional matchmaker"

"Ms. Spindel fails to go beneath the surface to evaluate (1) whether what is being said to her by certain male clients is truly what they want from a future partner and (2) whether what is contained in her book is the proper advice to give women".

"this is one of the worst pieces of advice that someone can give to single women looking for a partner."

"Ms. Spindel's advice goes against all proven science"

"Overall, however, "How to Date Men" provides a very shallow treatment of the topic at hand often with alarmingly poor advice."

FYI, Janis Spindel does not even look at the questionnaire when you meet her. She only wants to sign your book and boast that it is a bestseller (sure it is if it is mandatory text). Another reason not to buy.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
1. The man of your dreams is out there somewhere. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
let him down easy, date men, ring shopping, ten dates
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
New York, Valentine's Day, Los Angeles, San Francisco, The Rules, Special Birthday Situation
Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
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