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How to Deal with Emotionally Explosive People [Paperback]

Albert J. Bernstein (Author)
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)


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Book Description

007138569X 978-0071385695 December 9, 2002 1

In his international bestseller, Dinosaur Brains, psychologist Albert J. Bernstein told readers how to deal with difficult people at work. Now, in a groundbreaking new book, Bernstein tackles a more serious problem that profoundly affects the lives of millions of people: walking time bombs.

How do you help a friend who explodes into panic attacks?

What do you say when a depressed family member bursts into tears?

How do you protect yourself when a stranger blows up in your face?

Too often, our choices make matters worse. But it isn't our fault. All that we feel, and much of what we hear directs us to defend the fearful, comfort the sad, and talk sense to the angry, regardless of the utter futility of these well-meaning actions.

Moment to moment, people with mental disorders stand at the crossroads between getting better and getting worse. For disorders to heal, medicine, psychotherapy, the encouragement of friends, and the kindness of strangers must all point explosive people toward a single direction.

  • People with anxiety disorders must turn and face their fear rather than running away
  • Depressed people cannot wait to feel better to do the things that will make them feel better
  • Angry people have to recognize that anger is something they do, not a reaction to what is done to them

Reaching these goals sometimes requires stunning feats of mind over matter. In How to Deal with Emotionally Explosive People, Dr. Bernstein demonstrates, step by step, how to do them.



Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

PROVEN WAYS TO HANDLE EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS AND OVERREACTIONS

Sooner or later, most of us will find ourselves in the Blast Zone--face to face with an emotionally explosive person, someone who bursts into rages, erupts into panic, or is swept away by torrents of anger, anxiety, depression, or unreasonable fear. Once involved, you may feel defensive, trapped, and confused, not knowing what you can do to help yourself or the person in distress. Drawing from thirty years as a clinician working with intense emotions, psychologist Albert Bernstein has designed this practical guide to teach you how to stay calm, think clearly amidst the sound and fury, and understand the complex psychology of emotional explosions, from panic attacks to claustrophobia and many others. Here are real-life success stories as well as strategies for dealing effectively with overly emotional people, including how to:

  • Keep your head in the face of tears, panic, anger, or cold shoulders
  • Assess danger to yourself or other people
  • Offer support without getting enmeshed in someone else's problems
  • Set limits without seeming uncaring or aggressive
  • Understand the physiological and psychological causes of emotional outbursts and the medications and therapies used to treat them
  • Identify when help may be needed--whether from a family doctor, mental health professional, police, or EMT

...and much more to help you understand and communicate with people who are having a difficult time controlling themselves.

About the Author

Albert Bernstein is a practicing clinical psychologist, corporate consultant, columnist, speaker and bestselling expert on difficult people. His books, Dinosaur Brains, Neanderthals at Work, Sacred Bull, and Emotional Vampires, in English and in translation into over 20 languages, have helped people around the world deal more effectively with difficult and dangerous situations. Dr. Bernstein lives with his wife and children in Portland, Oregon.


Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (December 9, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 007138569X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0071385695
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #321,744 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Al Bernstein is a Clinical Psychologist, Business Consultant and author. Over the past 30 years, he has worked with individual clients of all kinds and consulted with businesses large and small. His writing reflects the variety of his experiences as well as his humor and solid common sense. His books offer step-by-step instructions for dealing with difficult people and situations. Two of them, Dinosaur Brains, on the role of instincts in business, and Emotional Vampires on personality disorders are considered classics in their respective fields.
Born, raised and educated in Virginia, Dr. Al now lives in Oregon with his wife, children, granddaughter, two dogs and three cats.

 

Customer Reviews

8 Reviews
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4 star:
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Average Customer Review
4.9 out of 5 stars (8 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars as essential as a kleenex when you have a bad cold, February 19, 2003
By 
mindy ranik (portland, oregon) - See all my reviews
This review is from: How to Deal with Emotionally Explosive People (Paperback)
This book provides steak and potatoes advice in a genre so often filled with alfalfa sprouts. In my job as a manager just this morning I had to deal with an angry customer and then a sobbing employee and I was able to handle both these situations effectively. In one case the situation was a mirror image of an example in the book and though the advice was not what my inclination might have been I took a chance and handled the situation as suggested with stunning results. I am impressed.
The writing style was easy to read, and I swear, the people Dr. Bernstein is writing about are my friends, coworkers and neighbors. I feel armed with practical advice for dealing with situations which, in the past,left me wondering what to do or berating myself after the fact for making this worse.
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Even veteran managers can learn from this, February 24, 2003
By 
This review is from: How to Deal with Emotionally Explosive People (Paperback)
I've seen most of Dr. Bernstein's books since the Dinosaur Brain.
What distinguishes this one most is that it is so lucid. Even when he dives into the clinical under-pinnings of a garden variety temper tantrum at the office, he never seems lofty, merely credible. He shows us the root causes without asking us to become the company shrink.
Being clear in communication is fundamental to good management, so it's refreshing to find a book that models it. The advice is direct, unpretentious, sensible, layered with compassionate understanding. Dr. Bernstein understands that we have to get back to work, but invites us to handle the contretemps of colleagues with intelligent empathy.
Someone who has worked in management 20-30 years, will nod in recognition at the discussions of difficult employees. If your role involves helping others deal with those individuals calmly, this is the book for you.
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A guarantee for better emotional well-being, March 15, 2003
By 
Kate K. (Milwaukie, Oregon USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: How to Deal with Emotionally Explosive People (Paperback)
Dr. Bernstein extends yet another strong and helpful hand in his most recent self-help book, "How to Deal with Emotionally Explosive People." This book helps me understand how to diffuse the emotional dynamite when dealing with over-reactive friends, depressed family members and grouchy co-workers. Each chapter reads true to life stories while the writer generously provides us with a solid ground of knowledge. It convinced me that, even in the most perplexing emotionally charged situations, I can be part of the solution instead of the problem. This is a book about building ones own emotional resilience. The real risk in using this book as prescribed is discovering what lies on the other side of our destructive patterns in human interactions and thought.
Kate K.,Business Owner, ECE Consultant
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
WHAT DO YOU FEEL when someone explodes into emotion? Read the first page
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The Psychology of Anger, The Psychology of Fear, The Psychology of Depression, Storming the Tower of Psychobabble, United States
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