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How to Be First in a Second Marriage: Forgiveness and Healing for All Concerned Paperback – April 1, 1999
Top Customer Reviews
Then I realized why I was disagreeing - there is so much truth in the examples set forth, that I was uncomfortable reading something that `hit' so close to home.
The truth is, rejection is difficult. And, a divorce is certainly rejection. When there are problems blending a family together, more rejection is involved. The idea that rejection continues to be present throughout the post-divorce environment was a new idea for me, and one that made me uncomfortable initially (especially the section that spoke about the rejection stepmothers experience). However, after much thought and two readings of this book, I must agree.
Our current legal system is designed to pit parents against each other - always declaring a `winner' and a `loser'. This continues to perpetuate rejection. When a child (or children) involved feel they must choose one parent over the other to ensure their emotional survival, more rejection is involved. When one parent launches a campaign to persuade the child (or children) that the other parent and the new same gender stepparent are `bad', there is still more rejection involved.
Another important concept of this book is that how we respond to that rejection is completely within our control. In other words, I do not have to feel jealous, hurt, or shut out if my stepchildren and their same gender parent treat me with hostility and suspicion. I can't prevent them from rejecting me, but I can control how I respond to that rejection.Read more ›
I have just finished reading the book of Rose Sweet and I am really disappointed.
· This is a book for real novices; if you are a second wife or even fiancée for more than a year, either your marriage does not exist any more, or you have learned all Ms. Sweet's tips by yourself.
· If your husband has physical custody of his kids, ¾ of this book is not for you.
· If you are Christian but the sentence: "(name), God has shown me that I need to ask your forgiveness for something. Will you forgive me for my bitterness toward you? Will you also forgive me for having failed as your wife?" is not exactly in your style, this book probably is not in your style as well.
· If your husband is not in love with his previous wife any more you should probably look for another book.
Through counseling and by the seat of our pants we learned exactly HOW to deal in a healthy way with all the problems of custody, violations of visitation agreements, nasty phone calls, no shows on weekends, clothes that don't come back with the kids, everything!
We learned specific ways of protecting our time, our legal rights, our serenity and our marriage from outside emotional pulls.
The book is written for SECOND WIVES, but the principles and practices I suggest can be used with anyone who meddles in your marriage!!!!
I hope you'll invest in your marriage with this book. I welcome all coments!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I received this book at 9:30a and had it completely read within 2 hours while doing my job :-). I first wanted to get an impression so I started with the introduction and the... Read morePublished on September 5, 2000
This book cited many examples that really hit home. I highlighted pertinent sections and added comments particular to my situation, and am using the book as a guide for addressing... Read morePublished on May 19, 2000
I just finished reading it and have begun to use the suggestions in it already! The author hit some nerves at the beginning, because some of it hit way too close. Read morePublished on April 20, 2000