How to Get to 'I Do': A Dating Guide for Catholic Women [Paperback]

Amy Bonaccorso (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 24, 2010

"Finding a man is just like finding a parking spot in New York CIty. It can be hard and take a while, but you can do it."--from Chapter One

A savvy veteran of the Christian dating scene, Amy Bonaccorso offers hard-won advice that will help you get real, get practical, and get married. Forget about Prince Charming--he doesn't exist--but plenty of good men are waiting for a woman like you to throw away the checklist of idealized mate material and settle down with a real man.

"The book that young Catholic women have been waiting for! As fun as it is informative.--Jennifer Fulwiler, founder of the Conversion Diary blog

Amy Bonaccorso converted to Catholicism in college and overcame many dating disappointments before she found her husband, Attilio. Now, she shares her lessons learned with singles so they can take charge of their lives and expertly navigate the dating scene. Amy resides in the Washington, D.C., area and is an accomplished communications specialist with the U.S. government.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

AMY BONACCORSO converted to Catholicism in college and overcame many dating disappointments before she found her husband, Attilio. Now, she shares her lessons learned with singles so they can take charge of their lives and expertly navigate the dating scene. Amy resides in the Washington DC-area and is an accomplished communications specialist with the U.S. Government.

Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Servant Books (August 24, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0867169524
• ISBN-13: 978-0867169522
• Product Dimensions: 0.5 x 5 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #598,365 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Amy Bonaccorso is an author, life coach, and communications professional from the Washington D.C. area. She has empowered women for five years through her writing and media appearances. Her first book, "How to Get to 'I Do': A Dating Guide for Catholic Women" won a Catholic Press Association Award in 2011 in the First-Time Author category.

Ten years of eye-opening experiences on the Christian dating scene equipped Amy to offer hard-hitting advice that will help you get real, get practical, and get married. As a happily married woman, she knows what works (internet dating), what doesn't (living a nun-like existence), and gives you the confidence to date strategically with an eye toward marriage. Forget about Prince Charming--he doesn't exist--but plenty of good men are waiting for a woman like you to throw away the checklist of idealized mate material and settle down with a real man.

Her website is www.amybonaccorso.com and you can also find her on Facebook and Twitter (@AmyBonaccorso).

Want to work with Amy one-on-one? Get the amazing benefits of coaching and the wisdom of a seasoned, internationally known dating expert for the results you need: www.newmountaincoaching.com.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Lessons learned October 7, 2010

By Carol Blank TOP 1000 REVIEWER

Format:Paperback

Amy Bonaccorso wrote this book as a way of sharing lessons she learned while searching for a suitable Christian spouse. In the opening pages she urges those who wish to marry to "pursue the vocation seriously, "and base expectations on reality, not ideals. She presents her initial checklist of desirable qualities, then explains its flaws, using a personal example. It seems one man she dated met all the criteria, but bolted when she got sick. That experience led her to analyze "the Christian dating problem." She found it fraught with hypocrisy and rigidity, and the rigid aspect was apparent in her own expectations. She discovered that "When things aren't gelling, God is usually saying `Veer left,' or `Veer right,'" even to the extent of considering a man outside your faith. She also suggests that compromises can be made in areas like politics, preferences in music, social issues, diet, and interior design choices. Furthermore, two people who seem completely compatible at first may grow in different directions over time.

Bonaccorso devotes considerable attention to Internet dating. Though individual profiles may not be truthful, meeting online "offers you some protections against the wiliness of bold men," she writes. And online introductions make first meetings easier than old-fashioned blind dates. Before posting your own profile, pray about it and' ask friends to review it to help you stay authentic advises Bonaccorso, who met her husband online.

She also warns about crafting a profile that will draw only those who meet your every requirement such as physical attributes, career, and hobbies. "Let God surprise you," she writes. She recommends saying you want a man who would make a good husband and father. She also offers brief reviews of several popular online dating sites including Catholic Match, Ave Maria Singles, and Catholic Singles.

The material is presented in 14 short chapters on topics such as meeting men the old-fashioned way, things to consider before committing, and fighting for respect and chastity. The writing style is informal, and the author makes liberal use of subheads and lists.

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Honest advice for single Catholic women December 5, 2010

By Karen in Mommyland VINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

Let me start off by saying that I am not in the targeted audience for this book. Amy Bonaccorso's How To Get To "I Do": A Dating Guide for Catholic Women is a book that offers practical advice to Catholic women who are looking for Mr. Right. Having just celebrated my tenth wedding anniversary, I can honestly say I was out of my element when reading this book.

After having read this book, I think it's safe to say that a lot has changed in the world of dating since I was single. And not to sound cynical, I felt incredibly grateful that I do not have to worry about dating and all the headaches that are often associated with it anymore.

This book offers plenty of practical advice for a woman who is looking to find someone to date. If you pick up this book you can be sure that you will be warned of the pit falls of various dating situations, such as on line dating services. The author also urges the single women who read this book to thoughtfully and prayerfully consider their vocation.

The topics in this book help the reader to carefully consider who they're dating or looking to date. With regards to online dating services, she stresses the importance of not misrepresenting yourself as this is a problem that many people using these services apparently are prone to do on some level. She discusses dating etiquette, chastity and a whole host of other topics in this book.

When it comes to committing to a relationship and seeing it all the way through to marriage, more practical advice is free flowing. From a married woman's perspective, I find the advice in this book to be very good solid information that, when followed, will lead to a strong marriage. I noticed several areas in this book that seemed like would beautifully complement a pre-Cana program.

And before you start to wonder if all of this book is written just from a woman's point of view, I should mention that our author has also included her husband's perspective in several side bars throughout the book. I thought these side bars were a nice touch because it allows you to see how a man might perceive certain issues which will allow the single women reading this book to have a better understanding of what they're up against.

If I were single and out in the world of dating, I think I would welcome a book like this for it's sound practical advice.

I was provided with a complimentary copy of this book by the publisher, Servant Books, in exchange for my honest review.

17 of 22 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars Surprised and Insulted November 7, 2011

By Joanne

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I have to admit, I'm very surprised at all the positive reviews this book is getting. As a single, 35-year-old woman, I was frankly bothered by it on many levels. First, the tone from the outset is incredibly condescending. She dismisses the possibility that Catholics who are still single could possibly know anything about dating, automatically alienating a good chunk of her audience, many who have learned quite a bit about dating both from experience and observation. Along the same lines, she flat out says that if you're still single and in your late 30s there is something wrong with you. If there is anything more hurtful, insulting, and simply not true that she could say to her audience, that would be it. I know countless wonderful women who are still single in their 30s and 40s, and they have it a lot more together in most regards than many of the married women I know. It just so happens that the right man has not come along for them. Bonnocorso's words are the last thing they need to hear as they struggle with the pains of being single later than they like and reflect her absolute ignorance of the situation women in their 30s and 40s find themselves in. She also strongly advises women to consider dating non-Catholics and lapsed Catholics without acknowledging the real challenges such relationships are likely to cause (contraception, sex, cohabitation). Her advice in that regard would be great if it were 1960 and most people, regardless of religion, occupied similar moral worlds. But it's not and we don't. Anyone who has dated "secular" guys, no matter how loyal and kind they might be in some ways, also knows they are almost never up for doing the whole chastity thing. And unlike the author, I tend to think not committing mortal sins is more important than finding a husband. Thirdly, since the author married at age 28, her understanding of the particular challenges of finding men and dating them when you're over 30 is somewhat lacking. Fourth, she seems to have a major chip on her shoulder about orthodox Catholic guys. Sure, there are plenty that are jerks, but they're are also plenty more that are wonderful, virtuous men. Finally, the overall tone of the book seems to place marriage, not holiness and not God's will, as the ultimate end women should be seeking. I want to be married as much as the next woman, more probably, but I've witnessed enough bad marriages among my friends, to know that the pain of being single is far, far less than the pain of being abandoned or trapped in a marriage that never should have been. There are worse things than being single, and the author doesn't quite seem to get that. Overall, this book is not for anyone over 25. Not all of the advice is bad--some of it is good. And it might be helpful for college aged girls or recent grads who don't have much common sense, but even then, there are problems with the author's approach. For anyone near 30 and husbandless, stay away from this book. Her condescending, patronizing tone will make you angry and feel terrible about yourself. I wouldn't buy this or recommend it to anyone.