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If you are wanting to get away from self-help and psycho-babble -- wanting to get past ego and personality -- and you are willing to try a more spiritual approach to understanding and accepting your Self (and by extension, others), I would recommend starting with 'There is Nothing Wrong With You' and 'Be The Person You Want to Find'. After reading those about five times each and devouring the concepts, I moved on to 'The Key and the Name of the Key is Willingness', 'That Which You Are Seeking is Causing You to Seek' and 'The Fear Book'. (During the same period I was also reading Marianne Williamson's "A Return to Love". Excellent!) Before I knew it, I was knee deep in Zen Buddhism and finding my way back to my Self. I wasn't aware of how far away from myself I had gone... Ever swim in the ocean and turn around to look back at the beach and think "Yikes! How did I get so far away?!" I think life without conscious awareness has an undercurrent of its own that tends to do that to us as well. It takes us away from our essence. As traditional self-help and personal growth books focus on ego and personality, they may hinder us in rediscovering our essence -- keeping us going in circles rather than hitting the target. Cheri Huber's books have reminded me that the target is "in here" rather than "out there".
For example: "Gee, I'm a horrible parent because I want to work outside the home." Well, no, I'm not a horrible parent because I want to work outside the home. I'm simply a parent who wants to work outside the home. Some people in society have labeled it "horrible", but do *I* deem it "horrible"? No, I don't. So I don't let it bother me any more.
Use your own standards to judge yourself, not "society's", because different societies have different standards. The Zen approach in the book is interesting, but fundamentally for me, the book is about how to love and accept yourself as you are and to stop putting societial labels on every thing you do.
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