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How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way? Paperback – July 24, 2000


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 252 pages
  • Publisher: iUniverse (July 24, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0595094724
  • ISBN-13: 978-0595094721
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (62 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #257,130 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Hiroyuki Nishigaki, a graduate of Osaka City University in 1963, resides in Japan. He was employed by the Kyodo News Agency until 1976. He is the author of four books in Japanese, including How to Attain Silent Knowledge, and the author of one book in English Rejuvenation and Unveiled Hidden Phenix.

Customer Reviews

I've been teaching my dog to obey this book as well.
portapeeps
Crane Rising Technique really helped me get control of my leakage, and I've been using that one regularly throughout the day.
Ty
Sometimes I like to open the book up to random pages and read passages for a good laugh.
Brian Williamson

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

569 of 584 people found the following review helpful By Thierry Nguyen on February 21, 2001
Format: Paperback
In a flurry of humor, depression, and morbid curiosity, I actually went and bought this damn book. I haven't read it cover to cover, but I've digested a good chunk of it. A significant portion of it is dedicated to reprinting USENET posts, where Nishigaki posts his ideas to a depression newsgroup, and every other poster gets completely and utterly baffled. The first few chapters are just this sense of back and forth. Then it launches into heavy theory, written in that zesty sense of "Engrish" as seen in the description. Its method for combating depression is something that I have yet to even consider trying, but as a general humor book, this is probably one of the funniest and most bizarre reads you'll encounter. I still randomly open to a page, read it, and feel better about whatever the heck was bringing me down in the first place. Get this book for comedy, not for advice.
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207 of 219 people found the following review helpful By STEVEN F. SCHARFF on November 27, 2004
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Okay, I bought this book because of the "Engrish" translation. It appears to have been laterally translated from Japanese to English (like the Japanese term for "Carousel" is literally "pony toy go round"). I read it, and I had quite a few laughs, mainly at the surrealism of the language.

But I decided to try the methods described in the book. Anal constrition and stomach compression, 100 times a day for several days.

At the risk of seeming disgusting, permit me to say that several days after I started this practice, I experienced what was probably the largest bowel movement in my life. I've also lost a few inches around the waistline and my energy level seems to be rising.

Perhaps there's some wisdom in this book after all!
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213 of 233 people found the following review helpful By Brian Williamson on April 21, 2001
Format: Paperback
I've only had this book for a day or so, and I haven't even thought about reading it from start to finish, but it is pretty gosh darn funny. At the end of the book, the author (Niroyuki Nishigaki) thanks everyone for "finishing reading what I have written in bad English." Bad English indeed! I'll share one of my favorite lines with you and if you think it's funny, I suggest you purchase this book.
"Besides shooting out a big blank from your buttock, you can feel as if your root chakra leaked sweet hot mucus."
That line doesn't make any sense, but it's pretty great. Sometimes I like to open the book up to random pages and read passages for a good laugh. Enjoy!
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144 of 156 people found the following review helpful By "stikeman" on August 1, 2002
Format: Paperback
As I sit here typing this, while constricting my anus, I can't help but consider how thoughtful and timely this book was. I ALREADY am reaping the benefits of Mr. Nishigaki's "anal-fountain-of-youth", even though it has only been a short morning's-worth of anus constriction.
I have quickly begun to "erase my bad sticky feeling", and am feverishly working on the "secret of shooting out [my] immaterial fibers or third attention to [my] work from [my] body".
With focused effort, and continued application, I have no doubt that I'll soon be "making * * * three times in succession without drawing out."
A lovely treatise on the power of positive-sphincking.
PS Added bonus; if all goes well, I'll be able to use my anus as a pencil sharpener....
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69 of 74 people found the following review helpful By David Chong on December 12, 2010
Format: Paperback
This book is easily one of the top five publications available on the market today addressing anti-depressant anus constriction. The book also alludes to additional benefits, including reverse aging and sexual potency.

The book does an excellent job of covering the following topics:

* Anus constriction

I highly recommend this book.
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96 of 109 people found the following review helpful By Joshua Beall on March 29, 2001
Format: Paperback
On a lark, I went and bought the book. It's certainly amusing, but most of the humor comes from the author's mangled "Engrish," which, I understand, is the result of a computer translation program.
The first two sections of the book are usenet posts, and the posts are absurdly repetitive, so much so that I began to feel ripped off. A funny group post begins to lose its appeal after you've read it (as well as the three replys that followed) three times. It became hard to get to the remainder of the book.
The remaining three sections are Nishigaki's writing, and are based on the teachings of Carlos Castaneda. While I'm inclined to believe that both Castaneda and Nishigaki are both lunatics who need to be institutionalized, I didn't buy the book to learn about the healing effects of anal-clenching; I got the book because it looked like a good laugh.
The content of the book doesn't really justify its price, but some of the mangled "Engrish" is REALLY funny, and I absolutely love the horrified looks on my roommates' faces when they bring guests over, only to discover this book lying on the coffee table. You probably have to be a little warped to buy this book, but if you're already looking at this page, methinks this is the book for you.
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50 of 56 people found the following review helpful By Robert I. Hedges HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWER on September 27, 2003
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Shoot out your super high speed third attention to a star, erase stickiness and other wonders are yours if you simply practice the tenants in this book by Hiroyuki Nishigaki, who also wrote the stirring sequel to this book, "Rejuvenation and Unveiled Hidden Phenix: Carlos Castaneda Shamanism Plus Alpha After His Death," which is even less coherent, if you can believe it.
Having been a student of bad grammar and compositional ineptitude since I first found the works of Pedro Carolino, I was compelled to read this book, and I was not disappointed. In this book you will find an appalling lack of respect for the English language, a zero coherence quotient and delicately turned phrases that would be impossible for a lesser astral being than Mr. Nishigaki. If you delight in all such inept manifestations you will love this book.
That isn't the only reason to be fond of the book, though. The entire premise of the book is absolutely ridiculous. Basically his premise boils down to this: the key to health, happiness, and a long life is to have six bowel movements a day, to dent your navel 100 times a day, and to constrict your anus 100 times a day, or in the words of Mr. Nishigaki: " Denting navel and constricting anus 100 times everyday is the most effective to make the fire burn from within." (It works for me!)
If you enjoy the truly outlandish, this is an excellent place to start.
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