Customer Reviews

The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want

5 star:		(79)
4 star:		(16)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

Which would you prefer: A second-hand account of happiness research written by a science popularizer or an insider's version written by one of the most original and creative scientists within the field of happiness studies itself? For me, the choice is an easy one. Sonja Lyubomirsky has earned her credentials as a leading expert on happiness-increasing strategies and she generously shares with her readers the secrets she has learned from rigorously conducted scientific studies. From expressing gratitude to taking care of one's body, she pours out the evidence for twelve happiness-enhancing strategies, offering persuasive rationales and practical suggestions for their implementation. The final chapter deals with the reality of depression, a topic often ignored in Pollyannish popular accounts of the happy life. You may want to start the activities before you finish reading the book, but do both and those all around you will be grateful that you did.

I tried to follow the suggestions in this book. First of all, if you really want to use this as a how-to guide, its format is not conducive to that. The very few specific actions it recommends are buried in text that is full of anecdotes and studies that are supposed to sell you on the thought that doing these actions will make you happy. Also, according to the author the solution to all of your problems seems to be writing in journals: your "Best Possible Selves" journal in which you are trying to cultivate optimism by imagining what your life will be like one it is exactly the way you want it to be, your "Goals and Subgoals Journal," your "Trauma" journal, in which you write about traumatic experiences you've had as a way of coping with stress, a "Gratitude journal" in which you are writing what you are grateful for, etc etc etc. While I can see how writing can help people become more optimistic and grateful, lighter in spirit and more focused, the author does not give specific advice on what questions to ponder while writing.

I felt after reading this book (several times) that it was a less helpful, more commercialized version of a much better, more helpful and more specific book which was written several years ago, "The Emotional Toolkit" by Darlene Minnini (also a PhD from California, although from UCLA). The Emotional Toolkit cites the same studies that The How of Happiness cites and more, but is more focused on the reader and what he or she can do, not exclusively on selling the idea of what they should do. It gives specific suggestions, which How does not; such as listing questions to ask yourself while writing in a journal, for example, and questions to ask yourself to shift your thoughts from negative to neutral (instead of How's simply telling you to "stop" the negative thoughts because negative thoughts are bad for you).
So, if you really want to help yourself, I would not go for How of Happiness.

As a psychologist for twenty years, it has been drilled into my head that as psychologists we are both scientists and practitioners. Having been a clinician for the majority of my career as well as a book-a-holic, I have been anxiously awaiting Lyubomirsky's book. As Gilbert accomplished in Stumbling on Happiness, Lyubomirsky accomplished in this fine piece of work, a wonderful marriage of both the "science" of psychology as well as the "practical" aspects of psychology. A dream for scholars and clinicians...what a fine contribution this book is to our field.

Lyubomirsky has created a work which will be interesting, challenging, and useful to researchers, practitioners, and the general reader as well. Her book answers the questions about happiness by backing up her assertions with a fine review of the empircial literature. "Harumph", no more touchy-feely stuff for the "soft science of psychology"...Lyubomirsky has created a book that will appeal to both my neighbors as well as my colleagues. This book would be appropriate in a psychology graduate course or a local reading group....

Her tone is deliciously real and edgy, her presentation delightful and well-thought out, and her suggestions concrete, specific, realistic and engaging.

There is something for everyone in this book.

I hate goals, I rebel against goals, tell me I "should" and I certainly won't. Well, after reading this book, taking the tests, I have actually done some goal setting that I might find I can complete without gritting my teeth and gutting it out.

Thanks, Sonja, I will be thinking of you tomorrow at 6am as I head out to the gym.

Beth Waddel, PhD.

I have read almost every non-technical book written on the psychology of happiness and positive psychology. While they are all good, The How of Happiness is by far the best.

This is no generic self-help book with off-the-cuff suggestions stemming from the authors' own life or anecdotal evidence. Every single claim Dr. Lyubomirsky makes is backed by scientific evidence. Moreover, the book's content is supported by peer-reviewed journal articles. While I am an economist, and not a psychologist, I do know which journals are the most prestigious, and the bulk of this book is based on publications from the most prestigious psychological journals.

To illustrate how highly I recommend this book, consider this. I personally spent over $100 buying multiple copies of the book and giving them to several of my students, in hopes they will read it. If they do read it, they are certain to live happier lives.

I am naturally a very happy person, and can say without reservation that this book has made me happier. My friends have found it surprising that someone as happy as me would be reading a book on happiness. After hearing my profound respect for this book, they too purchased it and found it a life-changing experience.

Of the many reasons we do science, one is to improve the lot of humans, to become a happier society. We are fortunate to live in an age when science has uncovered the science of happiness, and fortunate to have Dr. Lyubomirsky to communicate this science to a non-technical audience so clearly. In my opinion, this book is the pinnacle of science.

About: Science-based ways of how to increase happiness

Review: Right off the bat, Lyubomirsky points out that we can only control 40% of our happiness (with half being genetic and 10% being environmental) but she suggest a bunch of techniques that have the backing of studies (which she cites) that have been shown to increase happiness. She notes that all techniques aren't for everyone so she encourages readers to choose the ones that fit their lifestyles. These techniques include practicing gratitude, forgiveness, goal setting, spirituality, exercise and living in the present (among other things). Ideas of of how to put these things to use are clearly spelled out. I really enjoyed this book, sources cited, great topic, well written, engaging, actually applicable to life.

Some random things I learned:

Marriage increases happiness for 2 years, then it returns to normal levels

Happiness also tends to eventually return to set point levels after both catastrophes and successes

People get happier with age

No one thing brings happiness

Overthinking (i.e. in times of anxiety, stress or insecurity) isn't good for you and just makes things worse

Helping others makes people happy

Hugging is good for happiness

The happier the person, the less he or she pays attention to what others around are doing

I bought this book not to become happy but because it was written by my colleague Sonja Lyubomirsky; I knew her from work, found her research interesting, and wanted to find out more. The book actually did make me happier. I knew most of the material from the professional journals, but Dr. Lyubomirsky puts it together for you much better than the scattered and hard-to-read research papers do!
The interesting thing here is not so much what works as that science has found SOME classic ways of being happy do work--being grateful, forgiving, having goals, and more. Others do NOT work: notably, making money. No one misses the point that Americans are much richer than they were 60 years ago but are also considerably unhappier. Another notably unsuccessful strategy for happiness is running down other people. Many friends of mine seem to depend on this to keep themselves feeling adequate. It doesn't work. Dr. Lyubomirsky points out that emphasizing the positive is the way to go.
Working in China and with Chinese data, I ran into a delightful Chinese proverb. My favorite form goes like this: "If you would be happy for three hours, get drunk. If you would be happy for three days, roast a pig. If you would be happy for three months, get married. If you would be happy for a lifetime, plant a garden." There are other possibilities in other forms of this proverb, but the idea is clear: we habituate fast to many kinds of happiness, and they don't work for long, but others give true lifetime satisfaction.
A point made by Dr. Lyubomirsky, but maybe a bit buried in the data, is worth bringing out more strongly from my own case: All the real satisfaction and long-term pleasure in my life has come from things that were highly challenging, and thus not always fun or happy at the time. "Climbing higher mountains" is hard work and you often get rained or snowed on. I took freshman chemistry from Dr. Gary Nash, who was a legendary teacher--if you ever had him, you haven't forgotten it. I worked harder than ever before or since, hated the work, and almost flunked, but the class was a Great Experience anyway. Dr. Nash (who died tragically young--said to have literally worked himself to death) was like that. Since then I've worked terribly hard at a lot of things, and some were frustrating, but all were satisfying.
By contrast, getting drunk and eating a pig (and taking easy college courses) are fine in their place, but they provide strictly time-limited happiness.
One other scientific finding mentioned but not highlighted here: People who get along well with people--who are socially skilled and socially sensitive--do better and are much happier than others, on average. (There are many conspicuous exceptions, however.) This is a two-way street: being happy makes you nicer, other things being equal, but being socially skilled most certainly leads to a lot of good times, while being socially inept leads to a lot of major trouble and grief. The reason for not highlighting it is good, though: people can adjust and learn to be happy anyway. It may take more work.
One last matter of interest is optimism. The most robust finding in the happiness literature is that optimistic people are happier than pessimistic ones. Yes, but there is a Tao of optimism. If you are optimistic about YOURSELF, your real goals, your work, and your ability to cope with problems, you are in fine space--it helps a lot. However, if you are optimistic about the world in general, and especially about people, you may be in for a very great deal of major unhappiness. You wind up assuming you can avoid traffic tickets when speeding, or answering those emails from Nigeria, or expecting the best of American politicians, or trusting non-licensed businessmen and medical practitioners. A healthy caution in dealing with people is necessary in this world. Go with demonstrated performance. Good luck.

THE HOW OF HAPPINESS presents an intelligent and original approach to maximizing happiness that is exceedingly useful for psychologists, mental health professionals and laymen alike. The fact the Dr. Lyubomirsky is able to quantify, through her research, that 40% of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change, is illuminating and has the capacity to transform lives. As a clinical psychologist and Director of Psychology responsible for training doctoral level psychology interns, I have incorporated her research, principles and activities in my clinical practice as well as my teaching interns and staff. Dr. Lyubomirsky's secrets to abiding happiness provide important insights and her happiness activities and recommendations are both practical and highly effective. THE HOW OF HAPPINESS is an important contribution to the field of positive psychology. I highly recommend this gem of a book to every reader.

Read several happiness and self help books so far. This is the most comprehensive! and it's evidence-based to boot! Originally didn't want to complete 'another' happiness quiz. But I really enjoyed the main quiz called 'Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic'. There are 12 happiness activities and my filling it out, you figure out which 4 of the 12 happiness activities make you the most happy. Then the second part of the book describes each of the 12 happiness activities. You find the 4 that suit you the best and read up on the specifics. It's like a personalized, customized 'How to become more happy'. Other books are good but are generalized. I felt like this book was specifically just for me. An excellent read for everyone! Worth every penny. Thank you Sonja Kyubomirsky for compiling all the info and writing this book!

I was recently given this book from a friend as I have suffered from moderate depression off and on for 30 years. I found it very compelling regards to the thoughts on happiness in regards to genetics, life circumstances and ones ability to influence happiness through working on it in a cognitive way. I did not really get hung up here as a previous poster on if 50% is genetics, 10% circumstances and the remaining 40% is knowledge and work ethic. It it not important if those are the actual percentages to me, what is important is I think the author has hit on what is really going on, that we are genitically predisposed in a way to being a certain way on the happiness scale, probably a pretty significant percentage. Added to that the life circumstances, a much smaller percentage to make up that total percentage that we can not control but now at least recognize. As someone who has suffered depression, it is very plain to me to see that part of the problem has been my genetic makeup added with the slings and arrows I have suffered like anyone else that make me react somewhat more emotionally and negatively than most. It's that reaction from the genetics and my circumstances that lead to the spiral down into depression that is like a funnel with the ruminative thinking. I found in this last part of working on what one can control, the 40% is where the secret is overcoming depression as well as becoming happier. There are excellent strategies for becoming happier that although take work and self discipline do actually work for me. I put this book right along The Mindful Way through Depression by Jon Kabat-Zinn and the work by Marsha Linnehan with DBT cognitive therapy which has helped me greatly to stop the negative thoughts as well as live more mindfully in the present. Many of the strategies in this book mirror living mindfully in the present, eliminating the social comparisons, radically accepting life circumstances and moving on with problem solving strategies instead of ruminating in the negative thoughts that keep us stuck. The message for me was by eliminating the rumination of why I am the way I am gentically and not spending too much time focusing on circumstances like the new plasma TV happiness is slight and short lived as well as the loss of my retriever will eventually be short lived and slight as well if I just focus on the 40% I can actively make me feel more alive and connected to my friends, family and goals that really matter to me!

A short review in Psycbology Today led me to this book. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at University of California, Riverside, has written a very readable book on how the findings from scientific research can help us be happy.

Is that true? Can science make us happy?

Hard to say. Certainly Lyubomirsky -- who earned a BA from Harvard and a PhD from Stanford -- knows her stuff. And she has written a book that anyone can read and understand. Many academics struggle mightily to do that. Her thoughts and her writing seem to have this book selling quite well.

Still, while I enjoyed reading the book, and came away with some helpful ideas, I'm not sure if the book lives up to the rave reviews I've seen. Lyubomirsky does not reveal any big secret here. Although it's presented pretty well, there's nothing really new.

One of the fundamental points made in the book leaves me skeptical. Lyubomirsky says that 50% of our happiness is determined by our genes, that it's a biological set point. 10% is determined by our life circumstances. And 40% is determined by us. The 40% we can change. The other 60%, for the most part, we can't.

Those numbers are too tidy. Sure, you could interpret research to support a conclusion that part of happiness is determined by our genes, a somewhat smaller part by our attitudes, and a much smaller part by our circumstances. But to put it in stark numbers -- 50%, 40%, and 10% -- seems a distorted, almost dishonest, presentation of research findings.

That being said, to me, the big questions are these: Can science make us happy? Is finding happiness a science? Or is it more of an art? Or a religion?

My feeling is that the scientific approach to being happy will never be very productive. Sure, it can help. But for me, focusing on trying to be happy has never made me happy. It's Zen-like. The more you strive for it, the farther away it recedes. The less you focus on it, the closer it comes.

Lyubomirsky's suggestions (at least most of them) do help. Like pondering the koans of Zen -- nonsensical questions like "what is the sound of one hand clapping?" -- following her strategies can help us feel happy even if the suggestions seem rather unrelated to happiness.

So while I enjoyed reading the book, and found it helpful, it seems an oversell to say that it is going to change people's lives. Reading The How of Happiness to help you be happy is like reading The Joy of Sex to help your sex life. It may help, sure. And I recommend the book to anyone. It's worth reading.

But don't expect too much.