How to Hug a Porcupine: Negotiating the Prickly Points of the Tween Years [Paperback]

Julie Ross (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 2, 2008

“You never listen to anything I say!”

Yesterday, your child was a sweet, well-adjusted eight-year-old. Today, a moody, disrespectful twelve-year-old. What happened? And more important, how do you handle it? How you respond to these whirlwind changes will not only affect your child's behavior now but will determine how he or she turns out later. Julie A. Ross, executive director of Parenting Horizons, shows you exactly what's going on with your child and provides all the tools you need to correctly handle even the prickliest tween porcupine.

• Find out how other parents survived nightmarish tween behavior--and still raised great kids
• Break the “nagging cycle,” give your kids responsibilities, and get results
• Talk about sex, drugs, and alcohol so your kid will listen
• Discover the secret that will help your child to disregard peer pressure and make smart choices--for life

"This excellent book lets parents peek into the underlying, confusing thoughts and perplexing decisions that young tweens are constantly facing."
--Ralph I. López, M.D., Clinical Professor or Pediatrics, Cornell University, and author of The Teen Health Book

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Julie A. Ross, M.A., is the author of Joint Custody with a Jerk and executive director of Parenting Horizons, an organization that offers regular workshops for parents and teachers as well as private counseling. She has appeared on “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,” “Today,” “The Montel Williams Show,” and others.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (July 2, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0071545891
• ISBN-13: 978-0071545891
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #198,150 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars As a Father, I thought this book was fantastic. May 3, 2009

By M.C.

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

If you are a parent thinking ahead, or wondering how to handle issues (and when), this book is just what you need. It isn't a "how to" - it is a "here is the perspective you need to make your own decisions".

While every example obviously won't suit your family situation, you will be getting a real dose of reality about the issues your children and their friends (and their friends' families) will be dealing with.

Ms Ross approaches every issue with common sense and clear thinking. In several cases, I couldn't see myself handling the issues the way they were handled in the examples, but seeing how someone handled them is invaluable in thinking about what might be best in your family.

The sections on drugs and sex were especially valuable for two reasons: 1) the advice was clear and sensible, and 2) if you think you can skirt the issues, or avoid tackling them head-on, you won't after you read this book - as Ms Ross guides you through the issues and various ways to handle them, she also makes clear exactly what is at stake for your child and his or her personal safety and happiness.

If you are a concerned parent, you will find this highly intelligent book filled with thoughtful advice and interesting perspective on how other parents in this generation are dealing with this generation's issues.
I've read lots of advice books, and none of them are perfect. But this is the one that left me with the clearest plans for dealing with critical Tween issues. Parenting isn't about reading a book and doing what it tells you - it's about understanding issues, and figuring out how to deal with them in a way that best suits you and your children. Ms Ross' book is a wonderful resource for intelligent,thinking parents.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Practical advice with examples that hit close to home January 11, 2009

By JPM

Format:Paperback

I read lots of parenting books (I'm a librarian) and this was one of the best I could find on parenting tweens. I just finished reading the library's copy but now I'm going to buy my own. Highly recommended.

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars An extraordinary book July 30, 2008

By NYC Parent

Format:Paperback

This is an extraordinary book which will change the way that I think about and relate to my child. The book's premises are that pre-adolescents and adolescents in the years of middle school are like the chrysalis of a butterfly, struggling to change but susceptible to damage if handled too much or in the wrong way, and that communication which creates a trusting relationship enables the teenager who eventually emerges to make healthy choices. The strengths of the book are the care with which it details specific forms of communication which will and will not create this relationship based on case histories of parents and adolescents. I found it compelling because it was able to take highly personal situations and put them in a perspective that persuaded me to see my own child's behavior in new ways. Ross presents a significant amount of research on such topics as substance abuse, sexual practice and internet use but weaves the research so gracefully through case history that the book is accessible, lively and clear to the general reader while still making a theoretical contribution to theories of personality.