How I Became a Famous Novelist [Paperback]

Steve Hely (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 8, 2009

What Pete Tarslaw wants is simple enough: a realistic amount of fame that will open new avenues of sexual opportunity; the kind of financial comfort that will allow him to spend his life pursuing hobbies such as boating or skeet shooting at his stately home by the ocean or a scenic lake; and—perhaps mostly importantly—the chance to humiliate his ex-girlfriend at her wedding. This is the story of how he succeeds in getting it all, and what it costs him in the end.

Narrated by an unlikely literary legend,How I Became A Famous Novelistpinballs from the post-college slums of Boston, to the fear-drenched halls of Manhattan's publishing houses, from the gloomy purity of Montana’s foremost writing workshop to the hedonistic hotel bars of the Sunset Strip. The horrifying, hilarious tale of how Pete’s “pile of garbage” called The Tornado Ashes Clubbecame the most talked about, blogged about, read, admired, and reviled novel in America will change everything you think you know about literature, appearance, truth, beauty, and those people out there, somewhere in America, who still care about books.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Amazon Best of the Month, July 2009: Steve Hely's satiric novel masquerades as the tell-all memoir of Pete Tarslaw, author of the runaway bestseller The Tornado Ashes Club who's become a lit-world pariah. Two years out of college, Pete still moons after the brilliant Polly Pawson, who dropped him post-graduation for law school. His hygiene and motivation have degraded such that he's accumulating beer bottles next to his bed as convenient substitutes for the toilet. His dubious job transforming the convoluted prose of wealthy foreign students into earnest college entrance essays depresses him, more for its lack of prestige than any ethical implications. When Polly announces her engagement in a gleeful mass email, Pete's desire to upstage her at the wedding inflames his obsession with the fame, fortune, and female attention enjoyed by bestselling authors--clever charlatans, in his estimation. What follows is Pete's exposé of the Machiavellian tactics he employed in creating and selling a maudlin mess of a book. It lands him a spot on the New York Times bestsellers list (hilariously parodied by Hely) and an unwisely candid prime-time TV interview, in which his theories on authors as con artists spark a book-world feud, spike his Amazon sales rank, and force him into a literary showdown at a Texan book festival. Along the way, no one connected to books--writers, writing teachers, lit agents, publishers, critics, book buyers--gets off unskewered by Hely's rapier pen (and readers may wonder, on occasion, if Steve Hely has employed Tarslawian strategies in his own bid for a slot on the bestsellers lists). But out of the irony emerges something that feels like genuine reverence for great books, and for those who write out of honesty. For fellow book lovers weary of tracking book sales trends, Hely's wrap-up might feel like a catharsis. --Mari Malcolm

From Publishers Weekly

Biting, hilarious and improbably affectionate, comedy writer Hely's debut skewers the literary world with a sendup of the quest to write the Great American Novel. Words are Pete Tarslaw's thing, and after watching a bestselling novelist prattle on about the truth, his calling, and other ridiculous ideas on TV, Pete concludes that the sole way to save face at his ex-girlfriend's upcoming wedding is to become a famous novelist himself. His quest to construct a by-the-numbers bestseller is guided by rules like At dull points include descriptions of delicious meals, and where to live (An easy way to get credibility as an author is to live someplace rugged), though the real adventure starts once he bags $15,000 for The Tornado Ashes Club: his dance card is full of one-night stands, dizzying meet-and-greets with Hollywood big shots and appearances at grad schools. Meanwhile, Pete senses his moral barometer plummet as his Amazon ranking rises. Granted, Hely's shooting at some pretty easy targets that have been hit before, but it's hard not to love the way he does it with such merciless zeal. (July)
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Product Details

• Paperback: 322 pages
• Publisher: Grove Press, Black Cat; Original edition (July 8, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0802170609
• ISBN-13: 978-0802170606
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (91 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #65,318 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

141 of 151 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars How I Became a Famous Amazon Reviewer, July 30, 2009

By 

Richard Hine "Russell Wiley Is Out to Lunch" - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: How I Became a Famous Novelist (Paperback)

For anyone who loves (to laugh at) books and the people who write them, HOW I BECAME A FAMOUS NOVELIST offers plenty to enjoy. In composing the fictional memoir of first-time novelist and literary scandal-monger Pete Tarslaw, comedy writer Steve Hely finds ways to gleefully skewer all forms of literary genre and pretension. The spoof New York Times Bestseller List (linked to in the Amazon Best of the Month Review above) is a classic in its own right and sets much of the tone for the whole book. Tarslaw's determination to impress his ex-girlfriend by establishing himself as a famous author in time for her upcoming wedding creates the main trajectory for the novel. The pace is brisk. The laughs come thick and fast. (If you enjoy books by Ben Elton or Mil Millington, then this is definitely one for you.) On occasion, Tarslaw's attitude and observations became too snide and snarky for my liking. But Hely has created a highly entertaining book--a fake memoir with a lot of sad truths about the current state of the book publishing industry.

How did I become a famous Amazon reviewer? Well, that hasn't happened yet. But maybe it will if 50,000 people answer Yes to the question that appears below.

30 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Funniest book I read this year, July 22, 2009

By 

Jesse Kornbluth "Head Butler" (New York) - See all my reviews
(TOP 100 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: How I Became a Famous Novelist (Paperback)

Steve Hely is one of those annoying guys who not only gets into Harvard, he ends up running the Lampoon and then, after graduation, almost immediately becomes a writer for David Letterman. Now he's written How I Became a Famous Novelist, and the only reason I don't hate this young punk is because he's penned the funniest book I've read all year and I literally laughed out loud at the spooky rate of at least once per page.

How did this happen? Hely went to a bookstore: "Seeing the massive quantities of books of all genres and varieties, I got to thinking, 'What if one book contained all of these?' "

That's what he told USA Today. To The New Yorker, he admitted something closer to the truth: "Walking around huge bookstores inspired me --- there are so many books! And so many of them are so crazy!"

Well, guess what? So is this one --- just in a good way.

Here's the story: Pete Tarslaw's one talent as a kid was writing thank-you notes. Writing his college essay? Cake. So was majoring in English in college. So was scoring a cool girlfriend: "The fetching Polly Pawson first slept with me because it was easier than walking back to her room."

Graduation is a double shot of reality. He'll have to make his way in the world. And he'll have to do it without Polly, who has rejected his career plan for them --- "conning a wealthy dowager" --- and is off to law school.

When we meet Pete, he's living in Boston, working for EssayAides and rewriting college essays for rich kids. He lives in a dump with an equally depressed roommate. He eats sour cream and chives potato chips for breakfast. At night, he watches TV or reads, for no good reason, the Sunday New York Times Book Review --- specifically, the bestseller lists. Without exception, he concludes, the writers suck, and none sucks more than Preston Brooks, "the Mannheim Steamroller of novelists."

Worse cometh: Polly sends a mass e-mail to announce her engagement. Pete cannot go to the wedding as a loser who writes college essays. He needs to be successful. And at something easy. Something like....a novel. Because he has now seen Preston Brooks on TV and decided he's "the greatest con artist in the world".

Well, Pete can con too. Because if there's one thing Pete thinks he knows about the writing game, it's this: "The financial success of an author is inversely proportional to the literary worth of the book."

And so he begins to write. You do not have to know about the literary world or the book business to find the humor. On the merit of exotic locations: "Americans trust knowledge acquired abroad. The Mediterranean, in particular, has a potent sun-dried magic for them, as evidenced by their love for Andrea Bocelli and the Olive Garden". On the "hard work" of writing: "It was more like shoveling snow or cleaning out the attic, tedious labor toward a very distant end." And there is the Truth about the greats: "Faulkner, a southern huckster in the Bill Clinton mode..."

Is there sex? Yes, but not like in books. Drugs? Yes, but not what you think. Does Pete sell his book and make it? Hey, look at the title!

If you've just had surgery and the stitches seem less than industrial strength, hold off. Otherwise, get ready to chortle.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Delightfully On-Target Satire About All Things Literary, September 30, 2009

By 

K. Harris "Film aficionado" (Albuquerque, NM) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: How I Became a Famous Novelist (Paperback)

I loved Steve Hely's hard-edged satire "How I Became A Famous Novelist." It's as simple as that. Pulling no punches, Hely manages to skewer both populist fiction and the literary set with equal measures of acid and humor. A fast, dirty and dangerous read--it's easy to dismiss this blissfully funny novel as pure comedy. But there is so much truth in Hely's observations, it's hard to deny his critique as over-the-top outlandishness. So, in a way, "How I Became A Famous Novelist" takes a unique position in literary criticism by fashioning itself as a madcap adventure.

Pete Tarslaw, the thoroughly petty and unlikable center of "Famous Novelist," decides to become a best selling author to impress a former girlfriend. Seems reasonable enough! How hard can it be? Taking a cue from the books and authors that light up the Best Seller charts, Tarslaw slaves over a genuinely bizarre tale that borrows elements from popular books and combines everything that people love into one epic romance, historical, war, road trip literary masterpiece.

The cynicism is so pointed and the satire so sharp as Tarslaw dissects what elements need to be included in his vision that more sensitive readers might be put off. Unfortunately, though, as cynical as "Famous Novelist" can be about the current state of books--it can hit pretty close to the target. But, at the same time, Hely clearly loves and is knowledgeable about his subject. So, ultimately, "Famous Novelist" stands as a good natured ribbing about a medium that needs all the attention it can get! Charting the rise and fall of Pete Tarslaw, Hely's tale does go a little soft in the end. But after such a rowdy ride, it's easy to forgive some unexpected sincerity!