Customer Reviews: How to Instantly Connect with Anyone: 96 All-New Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
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on April 28, 2010
This book is like a continuation to Leil Lowndes' How to Talk to Anyone. You should read that book first since it covers the basics, before reading this one.
The techniques referred to in this book are a bit more "advanced," you could say, and they generally apply to various scenarios one could be faced with, and there are no shortage of examples especially in the professional environment.
EP, or emotional prediction, is an essential concept covered in this book that has shaped my behavior and attitude during social interactions.
Overall, a great read and highly recommended.
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on November 26, 2010
The book is definetely worth to read, even if you might choose not to use some more weird and dishonest tricks. Some of them are great though like if the person asks you the same question again in the same conversation, author suggests using different wording for your answer.
That said, this book is not so much about connecting as I expected it to be from the title. It is more about some tricks to impress others and avoid uncomfortable situations and graciously helping others to do the same. I would call it the book of social etiquette.
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VINE VOICEon February 13, 2012
Decided to give this book a shot as it seemed interesting. I was headed up towards a conference where I expected to meet several people and thought this would be a good read on the way up there. Well, I did try some of the things suggested. Such as asking people questions of how their day was doing, which seemed effective. Everything else seemed to land flat. Even the "pressing the pulse" handshake method this audiobook suggested. Yeah, not effective. I didn't pat when somebody had hugged me. I don't know, didn't seem to do anything either.

I did stay away from some of the things it had suggested. Some of them are based on deceit and manipulation, which I didn't really like. It made me think of Lowndes less of a person I would ever really like to meet. Honestly, you hear what she does and you would never want to befriend somebody like this. She is all about using these techniques to get ahead in life, not to really connect with people and make friends. I'm more interested in the latter, so her suggestions of manipulating others really disturbed me.

Well, I'd consider it a good listen since it is only a few hours long (I put it away easily on a four hour drive). But these aren't 96 golden lessons. It's more like I liked about five of them, considered half of them pretty common sense, and the rest were just down-right ridiculous or manipulative.
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on April 25, 2012
This book has a few good tips in it - and that said, I usually only take 2-3 good things away from any self help style book I read. But, read a lot, and you end up with lots of help! I would agree with some of the other reviewers who said this was more a book about avoiding or covering up a social faux pas rather than connecting.

I bought the book because I'm a friendly, outgoing person with my friends, and very shy at parties where I don't know anyone. I don't know what the heck to say. I was looking for some quick tips. But some of the tips in this book just seemed weird. I would almost call them intrusive. For example, to connect with someone you just picked up at the airport for a business meeting, the author suggests asking them what time they had to set their alarm clock, what they did that morning, and where they lived. If someone asked me those questions right off the bat (first meeting), I'd be wondering if I was going to need a restraining order down the road. But, perhaps that's just me and why I'm shy. But I can definitely say I'm a product of where I grew up (small town USA) and as friendly as the people there are, I would say many of the author's suggestions would come across as highly intrusive to the culture where I was raised.

There are some good ideas for how to backpedal on a social oops and some other good suggestions (I liked part of the section on accepting a business card and the section on rewording sentences was valuable - for example even if you really want to know the other person and not just talk about the weather for a second in the elevator you may be wording sentences like the other person is not the focus), but overall I don't really see it as a book on how to connect. It's a quick read and structured well.
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on September 18, 2010
I did not find this interesting at all.

"Little tricks" include:
- When meeting someone new, press their pulse.
- Don't pat when you hug.
- Hover around to see where they sit first.
- Give people a schtick name.
- Speak s-l-o-w-l-y for nonnative speakers.
- Don't speak of your "haves" with "have-nots".
- Wave to imaginary friends.

If this sound interesting to you, by all means read this book!
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on November 30, 2011
This book starts off fairly strong, with some good advice for actually connecting with people during conversations (tricks to improve eye contact, how to figure out what topics will be relevant to the person you're talking to, etc.) But later it devolves into a bit of an etiquette guide. A lot of the tips are a bit common-sense-y, but some of them are just ridiculous. The author is apparently the most sensitive person EVER- here's a brief list of what's apparently not-okay to say:

"This is my friend, Harry." Because Harry is a PERSON with a NAME so you should always say "This is Harry, my friend." Same with spouses. I can kind of see this being a nice way to respect your underlings ("Leil, my assistant" instead of "My assistant, Leil") but I've certainly never been offended by being introduced as a wife or friend. I value those roles and they ARE part of who I am. They say a lot more about me than my name, which is shared by all sorts of other people (including a pedophile high school teacher that was in the news recently. Charming!)

"Drive Safely/Have a safe trip!" Because it implies that maybe it WON'T be safe and OH NOES!!!

"That's a great picture of you!" ... compared to real life, where you're an absolute DOG. Bwahah!

"No problem!" ...but every other time you ask for something, it IS a problem.

"You look great!"... which is unusual, because like I said before, you are an absolute dog.

Seriously, if you meet someone who's so self-obsessed and paranoid that they are offended by "You look great", you are better off NOT connecting with them. And running, far, far away. Maybe I'm just unsympathetic since I don't have an ego made of glass, but....come on. If you're that fragile, that's YOUR problem, not mine. Learn to take a comment in the spirit it was intended.

Also offensive: postcards, out of office messages that say that they are automated, "Have a nice day". Aaaaand so on.

Well you want to know what I find offensive? Mixing Daffy Duck up with Porky Pig. The phrases "Big Cat" and "little puss" (clearly you're trying to imply that unsuccessful folks are pussies, so just say it.) And most of all, this comment:

"A quick note for my sisters: When writing to men, drop words that express how you feel, like: "I am thrilled that..." or "I am so happy that..." Remember, men don't have feelings. At least, most of them don't admit it!"

Yes, you're right. 50% of the population are pathologically unable to process comments involving feelings like happiness. That's not even remotely sexist. BUT LORD SAVE THEM if they tell you that you look great!
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on January 3, 2015
Many good tips, especially the ones that are make you think about the importance of manners and consideration for others. Several tips, though, seem like they'd instantly annoy anyone. An example would be developing nicknames for people like the cook at taco bell or the receptionist at the doctors office. Many formulas in this book could backfire, especially in the wrong hands. Seems like a book written by a person from a few generations ago--I'm not sure why i feel that way...maybe because she seems to spend an extraordinary amount of time interacting with people in person, and she talks on the phone, and just doesn't have a contemporary mindset. I don't find that people are that receptive to strangers. I think what works with with some people may fall flat in my world.
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on January 10, 2015
This book not only taught me some trick for connecting with people. It validated some of my own thoughts and feelings about interaction. I liked the idea that everyone is sensitive about themselves, so respect that in others. I liked the ways to get out of an uninteresting conversation without offending the person. I have always disliked it when a conversation someone ends a pleasant interaction with a gruff or annoyed tone. Now I know I am not the only one.
Leil shares her own experiences of her recovery from shyness. I liked that because I am a recovered shy person. I also remember every interaction I have ever had with anyone and the date of it. Consequentially, my trip through social skills lane has been a marathon. However, How To Instantly Connect With Anyone was a Quantum Leap. I am exited to order and read Leil's other books.
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on June 27, 2012
This is an ok book so far. Doesnt really say much more than common sense. Eye contact, Positive influence, positive comments, unselfishness...yada...yada...yada. I was hoping for a bit more than that but you get what you pay for I guess. Again, its ok but nothing to write home about.
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on October 29, 2014
The author introduces the psychologically sound concept, “Emotional Prediction” or E.P. which you can employ with everyone. Here are the ten sections of the book:

7 Little Tricks to Make a Great Impression Before People Even Meet You
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