Customer Reviews

How to Live with a Neurotic

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

The author does not assume that the reader will choose to live with someone seriously neurotic. That's the reader's choice. After making the choice to live with such a person, however, the reader will find strategies in this book to make that living situation as workable as possible. Nothing will make it easy; the book does provide effective tools that require discipline and practice.

These strategies, by the way, work well with non-family neurotics, such as co-workers and supervisors. The book focuses on how to live with behavior in others that we do not have the power to change. Sometimes, we can find no better option.

THIS IS A BOOK YOU CAN REFER TO TIME AND TIME AGAIN - THE INFORMATION IS EXTREMELY VALUABLE IN SAVING YOUR SANITY AND RELATIONSHIPS.

There is a lot of useful information in this short book. It is well-written, with one possible exception that I will explain at the end of this review. A person of average intelligence can understand this book. In other words, the reader does not need to be a psychotherapist in order to understand it. It is truly a self-help book.

I think it might be useful to give the titles of each chapter. It will give the reader the topics that are covered. They are:
Chapter One: The Possibility of Helping Troubled People
Chapter Two: How to Recognize a Person with Emotional Disturbance
Chapter Three: How Emotional Disturbances Originate
Chapter Four: Some Basic Factors in Emotional Upsets
Chapter Five: How to Help a "Neurotic" Overcome Disturbance
Chapter Six: How to Live with a Person who Remains Neurotic
Chapter Seven: How to Live with Yourself Though You Fail to Help a "Neurotic"

I found chapter two to be a very interesting chapter. In the original introduction of the book, Ellis states, "...I would say, as a rough estimate, that between 30 and 50 percent of us frequently behave neurotically." That means it is likely the reader will see that he or she has some of the neurotic tendencies that are explained in this chapter. It is only a matter of degree. Topics such as: Guilt and self-blame, Supersensitivity and oversuspiciousness, Rigidity and compulsiveness, Ingratiation, Inadequacy feelings, to name a few, are masterfully explained.

Lastly, if you are thinking of giving this book to someone who lives with, or regularly deals with, a "neurotic," I recommend that you tell them not to read the "Introduction to the Revised Edition." I say this because Dr. Ellis talks about E-Prime, which is a way of writing that drops all forms of the verb "to be." I think most people seeking help might find this discussion far-removed from their concerns. All forms of counseling seek to instill hope at the very beginning of the process. I think a self-help book should do the same. I just think the average person might get turned off by the whole E-Prime discussion. Just have them start at the non-revised introduction. I think Dr. Ellis should have put the E-Prime discussion as an appendix in the book. That aside, I think the book deserves a five star rating.

While Dr Ellis has some good ideas, I don't believe he presents these ideas as well as he could. I found much of what he wrote was long winded.

I truly expected much more information out of this book, It was just a little bit of winding up style detailed information, which I already knew from my experience living with my neurotic wife :-( It is though useful if you plan to get married with neurotic one but, I hope nobody wanna do that voluntarily :-)