How To Lose Your Ass and Regain Your Life: Reluctant Confessions of a Big-Butted Star [Hardcover]

Kirstie Alley (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 2, 2005

Dear Diary,

Decided to write book today.

Thought am good writer, am smart gal, have interesting sex-filled (lie) life.

Thought can write about men, life, love, family, food, sex, and fat assedness.

Thought can share stories with tiny-butted and big-butted alike.

Can tell people why fat, why (was) cokehead, why traffic jams and herbal laxatives don’t mix, and why suede pants and sprinklers have same rule.

Can show smarts and ingenuity…(Note to self: should seek patent on ideas for multiple uses of triple-x elastic-waisted pants, and negotiate with airlines on new seating classes invented by self.)

More important…can show world how life is beautiful and funny, no matter size of butt.

 

There was once a girl named Kirstie Lou.

She dreamed that one day she would be a huge star. So she worked hard to achieve her dream--never suspecting just how huge she would one day become.

This is the story of her Tiny-Butted then Big-Butted then Tiny-Butted life...with true tales of men, mischief, loss, cocaine, suede pants, religion, chicken and noodles and family, all thrown into the pie.

Buon Apetito!

Alley's accounting gives readers and intimate look into her life while providing a hilarious view of being overweight in a skinny-obsessed world. Whether readers are struggling with weight or personal integrity - or if they're just looking for love and happiness - they'll identify with Alley's experiences. She tells it like it is and helps us laugh at ourselves (and others.)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The increasing girth of Kirstie Alley's rear end has figured prominently (pun intended) on many a tabloid cover in recent years. At the peak of her career ("Cheers"), of course, her butt was indeed at its smallest. It's no surprise that she therefore sums up her life philosophy this way: one's level of happiness tends to be inversely proportional to the size of one's posterior.

With extremely salty language on par with what you might hear in a 50 Cent song, Alley has penned a self-deprecating Hollywood tell-all in the disguise of "note-to-self"-style diary entries. With many apologies to Bridget Jones, we learn that Alley is a former cocaine addict who once participated in the snorting of a six-foot-long trail of powder at a party. (She's says she's currently a Scientologist and credits L. Ron Hubbard with curing her of her narcotic addiction, as well as her issues with food.) We also learn--for better or worse--that she has the hots for John Travolta, Kid Rock, and Ben Affleck, and that she blames her weight gain for a super-extended period of unplanned celibacy.

As crass as she is (she kisses and tells, even including the sordid details of her losing her virginity in the front seat of a Chevy Impala), it's hard not to feel sympathetic for Alley. She admits that following a miscarriage in her third month of pregnancy and subsequent diagnosis of infertility—which were also broadcast in the tabloids--her weight started ballooning. And as much as she dishes about Hollywood actors such as Tim Matheson (of Animal House fame), she has the decency to leave Parker Stevenson, her ex-husband and father of their two adopted children, out of the gossiping. Even so, overall, this feels like a strangely extended endorsement of Dianetics. --Erica Jorgensen

About the Author

KIRSTIE ALLEY is a accomplished comedic actress who has been nominated for six Emmys (winning twice) and has won a Golden Globe and two People's Choice awards. She has appeared in many successful movies, including Look Who's Talking and its sequels and Deconstructing Harry. She also produced and starred in the television sitcom Veronica's Closet.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 216 pages
• Publisher: Rodale Books; First Edition edition (March 2, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 159486232X
• ISBN-13: 978-1594862328
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (38 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #274,796 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Gentle Giggles and Some Heart Felt Sighs, March 21, 2005

By 

M. E. Wood "Content Writer and Reviewer" (Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How To Lose Your Ass and Regain Your Life: Reluctant Confessions of a Big-Butted Star (Hardcover)

There's all this talk going back and forth about Kirstie Alley right now. Whether she's a positive or negative influence for large women depends on the group or individual. Despite her weight, she is the 'it girl' of the moment. She's also just another woman trying to make it through life the best she can. She just happens to be using her butt to do it instead of her breasts.

"How to Lose your Ass..." is not a how-to book as the name suggests but a diary-biography. Each chapter opens with a few excerpts from Kirstie's diary followed by a vignette. Diary entries begin on December 31st, 2003 and end January 1st 2005. A year and a day. There aren't a lot of entries; about 63 ranging from a few lines to a few paragraphs. There's a mix up with dates on two entries that appear on the book flap and then again inside. This is not a tell-all book, just some exciting and sentimental tidbits, a few juicy parts. Each chapter reads like a complete story.

Kirstie talks about sex with Tim Matheson (and a few other people), how she first learned about scientology, the secret behind the name Kirstie, her life long self esteem issues, and her assassin Corgi. Doing coke, decorating houses, lying to friends, family and to herself, and bringing 'Fat Actress' to fruition are all open to discussion. She talks about her daughter Lillie and son True and their issues with weight, hers and their own; the personal tragedy that led her to gain weight and the revelation and emotional release she witnessed with Dianetics. How she secretly blames John Travolta for everything, the death of her mother, and one of my favourite topics...airplane seats are all mentioned. The last chapter is the best of funny. I can't tell you why or the title because it would ruin it for you. Let's just say it's something everyone can relate to and leave it at that.

Be prepared for some swearing and other vulgar analogies. She doesn't go overboard with them but they are present and may offend the delicate of mind. There's the occasional mention of her first marriage but not a lot about the who, when, what and how of it. There are lots of black and white photos from her childhood, a few of her children and of her beautiful parents. I would have liked more current photos of Kirstie included. Not embarrassing one that certain media like to focus on but something to bring the reader to the present.

With Alley's book you are sure to experience some gentle giggles and some heart felt sighs. Her warm sensibility and mild sarcastic tone are reminiscent to a chat with an old friend. [How to Lose Your Ass and Regain Your Life] was an enjoyable look into one of Hollywood's foxiest women. I'd definitely read another book by Alley. There is still much to be learned about this stunning actress.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Really funny!, March 7, 2005

By 

Gloria Gross (Jersey City, NJ) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How To Lose Your Ass and Regain Your Life: Reluctant Confessions of a Big-Butted Star (Hardcover)

Things are looking up for Kirstie...successful show, deal with Jenny Craig, and who knew she could write? How to Lose Your Ass and Regain Your Life is alternately hysterically funny and deeply touching, occassionaly managing to be both. Though some of her tales are a bit racy, if you're not easily offended it's refreshingly honest from a celebrity and surprisingly enjoyable writing.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome, March 7, 2005

By 

Stephanie/TX - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: How To Lose Your Ass and Regain Your Life: Reluctant Confessions of a Big-Butted Star (Hardcover)

I loved her when she was thin and I loved her when she was fat. No matter how you look at Kirstie Alley, you will get the genuine article. No plastic Barbie doll here.

Kirstie writes from her life in such an engaging way, I could really relate. I love the formatting she used. The diary notation at the top to set the stage for what came next. This is a real person! She is funny, poignant and down home. A great read that will leaving you laughing in some parts and shaking your head in agreement all the way through.

(I preordered the book as soon as I read about it in the Good Housekeeping article about Kirstie.)