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How to Love a Difficult Man Hardcover – March, 1987

3 out of 5 stars 1 customer review

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--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

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Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Psychotherapist Good suggests that any man can be a difficult man; what a woman needs to love such a man is courage, the courage to take emotional risks. Good provides numerous practical suggestions as she examines various types of difficult men, from those who are chronically late to those, such as alcoholics, who pose graver problems. Citing childhood experience as the source of much difficult behavior, Good shows that women often react counterproductively to such behavior, thereby reinforcing destructive patterns. Suggesting ways to change these patterns, Good emphasizes that men, too, want relationships to work. This first book will be a welcome addition to the literature. Mary L. Kirk, Randall Lib., Univ. of North Carolina, Wilmington
Copyright 1987 Reed Business Information, Inc.


"Sensible advice." -- Publishers Weekly --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 244 pages
  • Publisher: St Martins Pr; 1st edition (March 1987)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312001347
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312001346
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.7 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,291,927 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Format: Hardcover
In her first book, Nancy Good explains that 'a difficult man is any man: how to love him, and why bother.' Well, I tell you when the heart says this is the one for me, you just can't help but bother, It's worth all the bother, hardship, and hurt just to know the person you adore -- even if he hurts you with his anger. I tell people that 'everyone needs someone to fight with' and they listen and wonder, "Is this woman crazy?" But I go on to explain that if he won't love you but will contine after four + years to 'fight' with you, that means 'something.'

The difficult man puts up walls and is afraid to uncover his emotional side, unless it is in 'putting you down.' When you value such a person, no matter how critical he may be. Difficult men come in all shapes and sizes. He said I had an 'identity' problem, but I recognized him recently just as soon as the got off the bus I was getting on; I told him 'If I know you from the rear, I certainly know you in the face.' He has the most fantastic (gentle) blue eyes, and I have told him when he didn't want to hear, "I'd know those eyes anywhere."

Men have a hold over the woman who cares deeply for him, but can a woman ever get what she wants from the man in her life. She has to remember that her feeling do count; express them anyway you can to let him know he does not have the upper hand over you. When he remembers something which may have happened (men do have selective memories!) two and a half years ago -- maybe it was four and a half, but who's counting -- tell him to stop holding a grudge, real or imaginary. How can you go back in time to say "I'm sorry." Well, I tell you, that's not what he wants -- he wants something to 'hold over you' and make you cringe and under his will.
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