Customer Reviews

How to Love a Woman: On Intimacy and the Erotic Life of Women

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4 star:		(1)
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1 star:		(2)

 

 

Dr. Estes' "How To Love A Woman" goes beyond typical "how to" material and delves into the essence of women. As an advisor, I have recommended this information to dozens of people, both men and woman; all have thanked me, many have recommended it to others, and most have sworn the information saved their relationships. Dr. Estes writes (and speaks) with unbiased compassion, and finds no need to "bridge a gap" between men and women . . . she simply, clearly, and insightfully explains, with her colorful candor, how women want and need to be treated, rather than how we expect to be treated. There is no accurate way to describe the content, other than "real." And the only way to describe the context is to compare Dr. Estes' work to finding that one perfect word, note, touch, scent or vision that simply says it all.

Hearing this book was a life changing experience for me. It's not just for women, but it is for anyone who wants to really know the soul of a woman, or any woman looking to find her own. The stories are incredible and her interpretations are absolutely stunning! Buy it! You won't be sorry.

With her rich and poetic voice, Dr. Estes presents, in a most unique fashion, the insight into relationship. Her use of poetry and indigenous folk tales somehow manage to define the kind of relationship I want and can have with my husband of 23 years. Key was her discussion of the life/death/life cycle as natural and something to be embraced, not feared. I have the tape on audio and listen to it almost daily, like a prayer.

She has the most beautiful rich voice which starts a slow heart beat deep within the soul. She tells the most surprising, extraordinary stories that feed the Old Hungry Ones who have been begging for alms at the side of the road, deep within us. The story of Sketeton Woman is particularly poetic and vivid and it will sing to you long after you've first heard it. Her poetic renditions/reinterpretations of Sappho are luscious and will make your skin shiver with delight. This is a down-to-earth, deeply wise and delicious offering which I would recommend, in Estes words, "for men who love women, women who love women or anyone who has tasted the Feminine God and found her . . .".This is for anyone seeking soulful relationship with the world and others in it. It is something you never tire of listening to.

One of the best sources of depth information about relationships and love and the cycles that we all endure/persue in being with the one we love.

Dr Estes talks about four groups of factors necessary for a fulfilling long term relationship. First is the need to recognise that death and rebirth are integral to life. She illustrates this with the story of Skeleton Woman. Next is the importance of Eros, the living connection to people and things. A person seeks meaning and beauty in the other. Third is the dual nature of women: the civilised, tame side and the instinctual wild side. Fourth, Dr Estes gives twelve qualities a good partner should have.In summary they are:

1. See them "blind," i.e. with your inner eye. Know how you feel about them. Be aware how they treat you: are they loyal? are they kind? devoted? Do they have the ability to care for themselves as independent beings?

2. Someone who can change and is evolving, Who is curious about the world. Who is open and is willing to learn.

3. Who is strong like you. Strong like a great tree, but bends in the wind. Who is sensitive to others.

4. Someone whose feeling function has not been impaired by past pain and pent up anger. If either hurts the other they show pain. Their ability to se your pain and feel for you.

5. Who has an inner life of their own. This helps because there are times to be together and times to be alone. Be equal partners on life's journey.

6. Shared experiences and memories are the glue that helps keep you together. There needs to be some similar passions so you can do things together.

7. Similar views on basic questions, e.g. the role of women, rearing children, attitudes to money. When the pragmatics are settled it is easier to soar.

8. Someone who is compassionate and listens. It takes 8-9 years to know the rhythm of a relationship. It is the building of a miracle.

9. Someone who can laugh at themselves. Humour defuses tensions.

10. Know who you can live with. `Cute' habits can annoy you later. Serious behavioural problems--substance addictions, lying, etc.--are intolerable. Your partner should have a soul life.

11. Be friends and lovers. Do for a lover what you would do for a good friend. Sit and listen; discuss what you want to do.

12. Someone who makes your life bigger rather than smaller.

This is excellent advice for good relationships. Dr Estes also uses myths and stories to illustrate her views.

A must if you want to love a woman , even though it is yourself...

the tape makes the listener look deeper at the woman,all aspects of her and in my opinion more importantly the interior life that should sustain one when things outside appear to be a bit shaky.it invites the listener to know the woman,celebrate her and love all aspects of her.for a listener that loves man and women as we all have these aspects inside of us as human beings.

I enjoy to listen to this CD, it holds my attention and it's not boring, as other CDs on that topic. It gives new information and it's always positive, gives hope and brightness.

This work by Dr. Estes' is the best of in-depth Jungian Psychology.
I have used this in my clinical practice for several years. It helps
men and women understand the deeper meaning of their inner life. I have purchased this work many times both to give as gifts and to teach clients.
Darlene Terry, CSW, LISW La Luz, NM