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How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You Paperback – September 1, 1997

4 out of 5 stars 149 customer reviews

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Love: The Psychology of Attraction
Love: The Psychology of Attraction
Crack the code of compatibility and find the path to true love. Paperback | Kindle book
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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Hard to believe anything other than luck and maybe fate, never mind a book, can make someone fall in love with you, but oddly enough, Leil Lowndes seems to offer the advice that can do just that in How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You. The sensation of falling in love comes from a chemical secreted by the nervous system, phenylethylamine (or PEA, as Lowndes calls it, as in "Scientists tell us only PEA-brained people fall in Love"), and the trick is to trigger the manufacture of PEA in your potential love partner, giving him or her the sensation of being in love. Lowndes offers 85 techniques for "Hunters and Huntresses" to capture their "Quarry." Much of what the book offers is common sense--the power of eye contact and compliments--but it's presented in a new way and with such detail that it seems that it can't help but work.

Following some of her advice will have you treading that fine line between nice and obsequious, and at times, this book may sound offensive to some, advising the reader to play what may sound like games. Lowndes is aware of this, and she offers some caveats, but still it is hard to get past advice such as, "Show him you're smart, but remember--not too smart" or "Watch your Quarry's reactions to outside stimuli, then show the same emotions." In all fairness, Lowndes doesn't play favorites: her advice to men and women can be equally appalling. Yet, the relaxed style of this book, presenting solid wisdom with a bit of scientific support, makes this book appealing, and, who knows, maybe it will make you more appealing, too! --Jenny Brown


Praise for Leil Lowndes: 'Leil is the best. Absolutely the best!' Sally Jessy Raphael Praise for How To Talk To Anyone: 'Your ability to communicate with power and impact can change your life - and Leil shows you HOW! Truly extraordinary.' Brian Tracy --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill Education; 1 edition (September 22, 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0809229897
  • ISBN-13: 978-0809229895
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.8 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (149 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #100,496 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Leil has devoted her professional life to helping people become more effective communicators in business, social, and romantic relationships.

The passion she brings to her writing and speaking on communication skills can be traced to childhood when she suffered almost debilitating shyness which lasted right through college. After being a teacher for six years and still feeling socially insecure, she decided to leave the teaching profession and work only in situations which put her in constant touch with a wide variety of individuals. Here is a short history of how she gained her insights and share them with the world.

After working with elementary school children, she decided to take the first step toward her goal by becoming an international flight attendant to feel at ease speaking with adults from all over the world. Still shy in front of crowds, however, tried acting to become confident on stage in. But, although she was very successful (even starring in a Broadway show,) she wasn't satisfied simply speaking from a playwright's script. To become comfortable addressing large audiences with her own "script," she became a cruise director on ships traveling around the world. That exhausting experience of dealing with people almost 24 hours a day, she said, would cure anyone's shyness!

Between trips, Leil worked as substitute host on New York's #1 radio talk show. Interviewing celebrities and political figures is how she became confident talking to anybody about anything.

After decades of communicating with all types and ages of people, Leil decided to write and speak to groups to share her knowledge with the public. Leil now conducts seminars for Fortune 500 companies and speaks at conventions, but her favorite type of communicating is still one-on-one talking with people.

She has written ten books, many of which have been translated into 26 languages. The best selling ones include: "How to Talk to Anyone," "How to Instantly Connect with Anyone," Good-bye to Shy," "How to Be a People Magnet," and "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You."

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Audio Cassette
When I first read this book, I was like "Wow!" And you will probably say the same thing because it uses science and psychology to back its claims. But I tried these techniques at happy hours and mix-n-mingles and singles bars, and still...no luck. I think in real life, girls are smarter than to fall for these tricks. Maybe I give them too much credit or maybe I shouldn't give myself any credit, but either way, I tried these techniques and they didn't work. The other thing you should know is some of these techniques are very manipulative. For instance, there is a chapter on how to act and talk like the rich in order to get the rich. That is so phoney and you wonder why the world is so fake - it's because of books like this one. Save your money, and just be yourself (which this book doesn't preach). Maybe I'm not a ladies man and maybe I'm no "relationships" expert, but I do know this, and that is, you will feel much better if someone loves you for who you are, not someone you pretend to be.
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Format: Paperback
I had read a few books about courtship or heterogenous love, but not one solely on making love or having sex. I dont mean this book belongs to the later group. However, on top of the useful but common techniques (separate for hunter and hunteress), the last few chapters devoted to making love and having sex really makes it outstanding above the rest. The table which the author used to tell the contrast (and thus differences on what men and women think about good sex) between female porn and male porn is hilarious but true (to the detriment of my self esteem). However, the most important message for me rests on the author's suggestion to read romance novels published by Harlequin. The few pages 247-251 (that 5 pages worth the price of the whole book) of a partial story the author used to elaborate (in a choregraphy format) the perfect setup to turn on a woman and drive her crazy really brought me to a level far beyond my previous reach. I tried it the day after I completed this book and the effect was so amazing.

In short, a must read. I am sure that this book will open a new horizon for many "common male" like me.

p.s. In order to avoid any bad impression that I or the book is sheerly sex related, below please find some of my favorite techniques mentioned in the book.

No. 33 Employ Empathizers: Dust your discussion with phrases like "I see what you mean." "Yes, you were right." "I can related to that," and the all time favorite, "I understand."

No. 59 "How do you feel about that?": Whatever she is discussing, simply ask that. Go ahead, force yourself.

No. 65 "Tell me about it.": Beg her to tell you about it. Then listen - like a woman listens. It makes you a more loving man in your Quarry's eyes.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I've read this book, in addition to about three other books about relationships. I've tried the tactics in this book, but they do not work very well. . .especially since I am a woman. Women, i highly recommend that you do not read this book unless you want to know "how to love someone the right way". For men, this book is a great source that teaches you from step one to step marraige.
True, it has many insights and scientific data to prove its points (and i believe in them), However, for a woman, this book is telling her "to sell herself" to the man she desires. I recommend that you read "The Rules" (if you're a woman), because those tactics, though manipulative, really works.
I gave this book a four star because of the many surveys and results it gave. . .such as "a man is more likely to commit suicide after a broken heart than a woman", and things like "couples who undergo through a scary experience with each other tend to develop positive feelings for the other, and more strongly" (therefore when you plan a date, do something scary, or at the very least, exciting).
This book is a great book for those of you (even women) who are already in a stable relationship. It teaches you how to love a man, such as "bite your lips if you have to, but never ask him to ask for directions while driving", or "give killer compliments". But these will only help you if someone is already in love with you. In your teen or earlier years, i suggest "The Rules".
Last words, this book is worth the money, because it is extremely informative in its scientific data about men versus women feelings and behaviors, and its many collected surveys. But if you're a woman looking for a healthy love relationship, read "The Rules".
1 Comment 44 of 51 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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By A Customer on January 18, 1999
Format: Paperback
This is a well written book. No doubt about that. But I doubt if this is the right book for anyone looking for a fulfilling and lasting relationship. The book emphasizes on the difference between the way men and women think, and advises the reader to play mind games. Although her claims are supported by scientific facts, one has to be aware that most of the technics she suggested are only useful to create temporary intimacy. Any lasting and trusting relationship is based on mutual understanding and support of each other. It's who you really are that eventually wins the love and trust of your partner. If one has to put on performance to get love, then that love won't last, trust me. One day, you'll be sicken tired of all this. So many people around us have found love by being who they are, why can't you? Ask your parents how they learnt to love and trust each other.
If you are young and just look to mess around, then this book might help. But if you want to find lifelong love, you should look somewhere else. I'm curious how many readers have found lasting loving relationship with the help of this book.
If you set out to play games, you can only lose. If this book doesn't help you develop healthy and positive attitude towards the opposite sex, then what would you expect to get from the opposite sex in the end ?
In that regard, I strongly recommend the book "10 foolish dating mistakes that men & women commit: And how to avoid them" by Lila Gruzen and Rebecca Sperber. That's the kind of book that deals with the essence of dating relationships. It's about how to better understand each other, not how to fool each other.
Stop buying into the "Men vs. Women" syndrome.
Read more ›
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