Customer Reviews

How to Make Love All the Time: Make Love Last a Lifetime

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

Divorce, they say is the second most destructive force on the planet, second only to the hydrogen bomb. As a divorce attorney, I concur with this saying. However, there is hope. I began recommending Barbara DeAngelis' book "How to Make Love All the Time" to clients in hopes it can do for their marriages what it has done for mine. The book has simple solutions and rational explanations for the inevitable conflict that occurs in all relationships. We see the Hollywood version of love and don't understand when our "fairy-tale romances" begin to suffer. Dr. DeAngelis explains to us that, so long as we are compatible, we should just work on what we have instead of going out and looking for a new relationship. She explains that all relationships will have conflict. The closer our connection to our loved ones, the more conflict we will have. However, using her techniques, we can resolve our conflict and enjoy closer bonds with our loved ones. She explains that new relationships have less conflict because there are fewer issues and emotions between the parties. While simple and (probably) common sense, this is a startling revelation for most. This is a great book offering hope for our staggering divorce rates. What do you have to lose?

after 20 yrs, 3 relationships, 5 boys, I am a healed single mom, now building towards finding a good husband again someday. It was 3 of Barbara's books that unveiled real life to me, ending an 8yr disfunctional triangle too. From domestic violence to infidelity and mental abuse, it all hurt me. Thru reading i gained tools to see and hear different. Her gentle deliverance of truth and human desires and behaviors carry a message across many cultures & grains. after 15 yrs of collecting bks, i have parted with most, except hers that rest next to my bible. She cleared the fog so my spirit awoke! Thank you eternally Barbara!

Whether you are in a relationship, or just want to be, this book will be of use to you. It encourages you to follow your emotions more completely, and gives you practical tools to do so. Doing the exercises is great, but even if you don't, just thinking about them will give you a better understanding of the people around you.

The book covers the many different ways that we have of pushing love out of our life, and even if it doesn't hit yours, it should give you some ideas on where to look.

This is definitely a worthwhile self-help book.

My favorite part of the book was on why and how to communicate emotions. The fact that there's usually both positive and negative feelings involved, and if you leave either one out, your partner doesn't get the info they need (& why). And a great, simple model of the layering of emotions that helps sort out the swirl and say the things that need to be said, in a way that's neither compromising nor hurtful.

By the way, don't let the garish cover and the amateurish layout of the text turn you away. Laugh and keep reading.

I don't know were some of the readers get their wit. But I have read several of the author's books with my wife and they have helped us more then I could imagine. Opening us up to new ideas and learning to express our emotions and feelings to each other. My wife and I are much closer now then we ever have been before and it the best feeling in the world. It's far better then ending up like the one read who could only criticize the author. She (or He) is probably living an empty life alone.

At first I was a skeptic concerning Ms. de Angelis' work. After reading "Real Moments for Lovers" I became convinced that she was indeed a Godsend to men who are serious about reviving their love relationships or who want to keep their new relationship fresh and alive. There is so much truth about who we are and why we react the way we do in our relationships. Reading this and "Real Moments" has definitely turned around the intimacy and romance in my own marriage and I highly recommend this book to anyone else (again, especially men who are looking for intimacy truths and ways to communicate with their spouses).

I believe this is a great book to read if you are in a relationship and looking to grow. It has some great ideas and gets you asking the right questions. My only negative point in the books is that there is a section towards the back for single people and I'm sure a single person would not reach that part of the book as the rest is geared towards couples and sharing your love. It is NOT a sex book as some might think but there is a chapter that gives good advise. It is about learning to make love the rest of your life and not just the bedroom.

"It is easy to fall in love. But it's a lot harder to stay in love." ~ pg. 4

Reading "How to Make Love All the Time" may make you less satisfied with your relationship. The book begins with solutions to communication problems, dips into sexuality and then ends with reasons why you may not be compatible after all.

If you are truly committed to making your relationship work then you may want to read the first three sections and skip the fourth (all the reasons not to stay). There are some interesting points to consider. Is your sex life really a mirror of your entire relationship? How can you create the relationship you really want? Can anyone really be "in love" for their entire life? What are the real causes of depression? Is there hope even in the worst situation?

"Remember your partner is a mirror, reflecting all the parts of yourself you may not want to see." ~ pg. 176

While Barbara DeAngelis has a number of failed relationships (she talks about them in this book) she does seem to be a keen observer of what works and what will fail to please. She does a good job uncovering the real issues in a relationship. What are you really fighting about? Why do you push love away? What can you do to increase romance and attraction?

Most books on love seem to imply that the "in love" feeling normally lasts between six months and three years. Is it unrealistic to expect more? Can you feel "in love" again after years of being with your partner? Barbara DeAngelis believes you can recharge your relationship with romantic encounters and love letters. My only advice in the area of love letters would be to leave out the negative aspects (what you hate about your partner) because seeing it written down may be slightly severe and cause more anguish.

Overall this book has lots of good ideas for anyone trying to make their marriage work. The section on sexuality is very revealing and I read parts of it to my husband for his amusement (you get to pick which type of lover you are or guess about your partner). I just think the book is rather anticlimactic since it ends on a sour note. If you can't sweeten up your relationship then Barbara says you may want to seek a divorce.

If you want to fight for your relationship you may want to read All You Need Is Love and Other Lies About Marriage: A Proven Strategy to Make Your Marriage Work, from a Leading Couples Therapist.

~The Rebecca Review

Excellent book on understanding the dynamics of hiding from love and how to come away from that. Excellent in understanding the levels you go through when you are feeling unloved and how to process back to a loving feeling and help yourself become balanced. Also recognizing in others where they are hidden in the process of love.

So, this book, despite its description and jacket, is for people in a failing relationship. It's not for relationship enrichment at all.

And bottom line, if you need to be walked through such mechanical artificial suggestions as the author makes, skip the money in buying this book and seek marriage counselling. Now.

Don't waste your money, there's a lot of better books on the subject. Keep looking.