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Very Interesting, But Does It Work For Most Women?
on January 8, 2003
As a former trainer in NLP for 7 years I've always been impressed with how effective these techniques are for creating internal change (habits, behaviors, disciplines, overcoming fears, sales, etc.)
But the ability to create change in other people (like getting a man to fall in love with you) is something that I believe from my experience in the field almost no one can achieve on their own with NLP.
I wrote my fishy relationship/self-help book because I saw how different the real works as opposed to the NLP-seminar-John Gray-Tony Robbins models. That experience came from dating in Southern California and going on a lot of cruises and Club Med vacations.
What I found is that people who try to use NLP techniques come across as being weird. It also has a strange way of messing with the natural karma of love. For whatever reason, when you try to get someone else to fall in love with you through an organized skill set like this, it has a way of ruining the magic for yourself.
What is important to know from Tracy's book are the general concepts of sensory acuity and anchoring. Sensory acuity comes in handy when you recognize when you get an instant negative reaction (like bad breath, body odor, unappealing voice, talk too fast, talk too loud, talk too slow, talk too much). These things cause a person to be out of rapport. Which means an unconscious bad first impression.
Anchoring has to do with creating stirring memories or special moments. This book is about the mechanics of creating those moments which is all right, but the average person needs to feel it come naturally from within.
If a woman really wants to know how to get a man to fall in love, she must first maximize her own feminine allure (Being a Woman by Dr. Toni Grant) and then make her contacts and develop relationships. Dr. Cabot's work will help you with identifying technical mistakes, but not some much about having more to give (variety, intensity, heart), cleansing the spirit, and understanding and appreciating a love partner.
As an author, NLP trainer, and semi-relationship expert, I think that this book addresses the 20% of mechanics when it's done right (a very difficult task without years of training and integration...not just in a simple reading of a book!) But what most people really need is the 80% of how loving relationships work from within on the emotional-spiritual world.
My advice here is to enjoy this book and become more aware of instant triggers, but don't get carried away and become a weirdo!
Weirdness spooks men away quickly!
Remember that love is far more spiritual than mechanical.