Customer Reviews

How to Marry the Man of Your Choice

5 star:		(22)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(11)

 

 

I've spent the next 13 years being grateful to them.

I was sitting on the beach. My sister handed me this book. I was totally offended. But I tought, I'm 26 and dating someone who I probably won't marry. Nothing better to do. So I cracked it open. One of the first things I read is: smile at EVERY man you meet who you are pretty sure is not a convicted felon. When I got up to get something out of the car, I walked past a late 30's man who was talking on the phone. Why the h*ll not! I stood up straight and flashed him a brilliant smile. I felt absurd and exposed and like a total goofball. On the way back from the car, same thing -- shoulders back, good posture, winning smile. He literally took the phone away from his ear and stared at me and said "YOU are the cutest thing!"

I sat back down in my beach chair and devoured that book. I'm no great looker and yet I got immediate results. From then on I was fighting the men off. Within six months I met THE guy, two years later we were married. We've been married for 10 years.

I rarely place book reviews unless I feel strongly about it, and in this case I do. While there are definitely many helpful points to help a woman get married such as exhibiting confidence, etc., there are certain issues which I frankly felt were either not practical or insulting.

1) p. 197 "Another woman told me that she has been "saving herself" for marriage.. She, too, had failed with men...The typical man reacts adversely to virginity in an adult female"
p.168 "Men normally view virginity in an adult female with equal dismay. If a woman older than twenty-five is a virgin and insists on remaining one until she marries, she's likely to die a virgin."
I do not believe premarital sex is a sin leading to fire and brimstone. However, this passage from the book is implying for the many people who do want to save themselves for either religious or personal reasons or the >25 year old virgin, that they are hopeless. This is an insult. If a woman changes her own beliefs just to get married, then she is not being her own true self. To have a true relationship, a woman has to show her true colors, be it premarital sex or chastity. And the age thing? I'm too insulted to comment.

Believe it or not, there are women who married as virgins AFTER 25 years old and are happy.

2) p.179 "If you are fertile, use birth control that's pleasant for him. Don't expect him to use a condom, unless disease prevention is your primary concern or his. Condoms may dull his senses too much."
While #1 above was insulting, #2 is just plain risky. Since premarital sex is obviously advocated in this book, then at the very least condoms should be used. Birth control pills, Depo, the patch, Nuva Ring, to name a few prevent pregnancy, but they don't prevent disease. Condoms NEED to be used. The danger of HIV and sexually transmitted disease (STD) is too great. Not to mention risk of infertility in STD's and potential death in the case of HIV. If there is one thing you get out of this review, at least learn to protect your health.

I had seen how some readers gave 1 star. Yet, because of the 4-5 stars on this book, I gave it the benefit of the doubt. I now know that it definitely falls in the 1 star category.

This is possibly the worst book on dating I have ever come across. Not only does it contain advice that is at best questionable, but it also has some ideas that are simply loopy. She advocates living together before marriage, even when couples who do are statistically more likely to divorce than those who do not. According to her, those who do not believe in premarital sex, are virgins older than 25, and who don't drive or swim (!), don't have much of a chance. And if that isn't silly enough, she also throws in some nonsense about what not to wear (no pink! no jewelry! no pendants - unless they call attention to your breasts! no earrings! no rings on any finger!). This author has an obsession with male fantasy which, according to her, should ALWAYS be indulged! Worst of all, she discourages men from using condoms because it diminishes their pleasure. Aw, the poor dears! In this age of STDs and AIDS, this piece of tomfoolery is not only bad advice, but it could cost a woman her life.

Okay, so some women may be put off by the advice to be a bitch and the suggestions on how to dress (don't dress dumpy and wear make up) but the idea that one must be informed and methodical about finding the right man to marry is the most important concept in this book. Most of her advice is based on appealing to men in a very general sense (most men prefer long hair and stuff like that), so if the man of your choice isn't typical, then you would ignore some of that information. The best parts of the book are: her list of questions to ask a man to find out if he is the man for you and her advice on when and why you should move out of a live-in relationship. It's a good book with which to start your quest and I have to add that two friends were married with in two years after reading and applying the information in this book.

What I liked best about this book was the fact that the author emphasises spending dates at places where you can talk to the man. For example, going to a Museum, and not a movie. She provides lists of topics to discuss. These are areas that tend to cause problems in marriage. For example, there are people who are married and never talked about if they wanted children before they got married. She also includes talking about politics, financial beliefs, children, type of place you want to live, etc. As for the living together, if you do not believe in this, the advice is good when you think about your first year of marriage. She also states that if you are not going to live together, then spend a vacation together. My husband and I did am modified version of this. We basically spent almost every waking hour together for a week. As for all of the stuff about not being a virgin, I just ignored that part of the book. There is no book out there that is perfect. Overall, the advantages of this book tramendously outweigh the disadvantages.

This book really helps you focus in on the important issues in marriage - values. Shows you step by step how to "interview" propects and tells you the warning signs. Read it and you will know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. I followed the steps and had my 7th anniversary in March - it works and so do we!!!!!

I first saw this lady on Oprah years ago. My girlfriend and I bought the book, within 2 months we had found the men we eventually married. (and we have 16 years behind us!) I think she gives great advice. First, stop waisting time on men you don't want! You need to know what you want and then you need to 'get right to it' and find out if this guy and you can make it work. If he doesn't want kids, if he loves the cold, if he wants to go home to Indiana and raise his family and you can't... MOVE ON! Stop trying to change a guy and find the right one. Next, she gives you insight into men. What colors they are attracted to, why women dress for women and how to dress to attract men (you got to meet them to figure out if he is right or not) and she gives great techniques to woo them. After hours of talking to my husband on the phone, I knew we were a match... using her techniques (proven psychology methods) you can make the magic happen. By the way. I have an amazing husband. He is very successful at his career, he changes diapers and loves to take care of the kids, he is romantic, we love to travel... I really did find the man of my dreams!! he is no man of the 1950s that is for sure!
Ask your self this: is it worth about ten dollars to get even a kernal of knowledge that might help you find your soulmate?

I read this book and was engaged to a wonderful man a year later. We've been married for nine years. This book gives you common sense ways to choose who is and is not right for you. Use her "interview" questions to really find out what your man is like. If you are single and don't want to be, BUY THIS BOOK!

Probably the most straightforward, understandable, and applicable mate selection book I have ever read. The best part about Kent's book is that a woman may apply it at virtually any age and in virtually any circumstance. Kent does advocate taking responsibility for one's choice and truly becoming acquainted with one's dates so that one might, indeed, marry the man of one's choice.

The book's language is direct and simple. The directions are easy to follow and of relatively low risk.

Literally every woman I know who has applied Kent's teachings with regularity has married within two years of doing so--and married well!

My mom bought this book as a gag gift for me one x-mas - and the next year (to her dismay) I found the perfect guy! - we've been married ten years this month! I am buying this again for a friend who thinks she's ready to get married. Good luck to all of you - this practical advice definately works!
Ann Marie M. Andrews