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How to Massage Your Cat Hardcover – September 1, 2003


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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 32 pages
  • Publisher: Chronicle Books (September 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0811840697
  • ISBN-13: 978-0811840699
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 8.4 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #777,833 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Alice M. Brock is the former owner and chef of the world-famous Alice's Restaurant - immortalized both in Arlo Guthrie's song and the film by the same name. She makes her home in Provincetown, Massachusetts.

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Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Only cat lovers will love this book- animal-haters will find it boring, not abuse inspiring.
vegicat
It's worth little as a massage book -- I mean, tell your humans not to try this at home; they could hurt your limbs.
MaxtheQuiltCat
This is a simple, but extremely funny book that will make you laugh until you can't breathe.
Michelle A. Cowart

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Diane on July 7, 2007
Format: Hardcover
I first got this book about 30 years ago, when I was a teenager. It made me laugh so hard then that it brought me to tears. Every few years I pull it out to share with someone and it STILL makes me cry with laughter. I'm sorry to find that some people have the opposite reaction. To me, it's hard to understand. I love my cat and know this book isn't meant seriously. It's a deliciously ridiculous 'how-to'. I will always love it.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Christopher Lund on July 5, 2008
Format: Hardcover
A quick read, and very funny, if you have the right sense of humor. There is no real cruelty to animals being portrayed in this book, and the nonplussed look of the cat through the entire thing is priceless.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By K. Alexander on February 11, 2010
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I found this book when I was out shopping with my mom at a novelty store. We laughed and laughed as we read it in the store. She bought it to give as a white elephant party gift, but she always regretted that the person who received it didn't seem to appreciate it as much as she did. I ordered this as a small gift for her, so she could finally have her own copy. Hilarious.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Jennifer Bennett on January 10, 2010
Format: Hardcover
I was recently at the veterinarian with my sickly cat, and while waiting I saw this book in a pile. I opened it randomly to a page which included instructions for shaking your cat out and, of course, realized it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. I started back at the beginning, laughing to myself at the photos of a cat being stretched, kneaded like bread dough, and twisted. I'm definitely thinking of getting this as a gift for the cat lovers I know who have a good sense of humour.

If there are people out there who did not find this book funny, I can express nothing but sympathy. What a dull world you must live in.
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13 of 18 people found the following review helpful By Michelle A. Cowart on September 5, 2005
Format: Hardcover
I was laughing so hard in the bookstore people were staring. It's obvious a cat lover wrote the book, and anybody who takes it seriously has serious problems. If you actually tried this on a cat, you'd end up with no eyes and various open wounds. This is a simple, but extremely funny book that will make you laugh until you can't breathe.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Suzy on April 12, 2010
Format: Hardcover
I recently re-read this masterpiece and it confirmed my view that a solid massage is the best way to truly relax a feline companion. One of my old faithful pets is still in a state of blissful oblivion after all of these years.
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Format: Hardcover
Our friends have dalmations that they have trained to smile in a smarmy fashion. When they issue the command "Smarmy dog!" the dogs obligingly lift their lips and sneer. It's a hoot. Naturally, THEY would be the ones to buy "How to Massage Your Cat" and pass it around. Hey, animal humor is the best kind!

We couldn't keep from gasping with laughter as they showed us this book of quasi-serious cartoon drawing, illustrating the ludicrous concept of massaging the generally loosely constructed lump of flesh that is a feline. If you aren't a cat owner, you may not "get" the joke; cats need a massage like I need a banana split. Mine lies around on his back and looks like he's a pool of melting furry caramel sauce.

Of course, your cat may actually need to be massaged, but then, who doesn't?

Funny stuff, indeed.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By MaxtheQuiltCat on July 4, 2010
Format: Hardcover
When I first read the title (How to Massage Your Cat), I gotta tell you, I thought it was just crazy. Who is the least tense, most relaxed of the animal kingdom? Right, cats. I mean, how often have you encountered a feline friend fraught with angst. Rarely? Am I right? So, I thought the premise for this book was off base.

Wanting to be fair, however, I consulted with Lindsey and Noodles for outside opinions, and they said that they might not be averse to trying a little massage. On their recommendation, I read the book cover-to-cover to determine its efficacy.

Know what I found? It's worth little as a massage book -- I mean, tell your humans not to try this at home; they could hurt your limbs. However, it has great value for humor.

I think this book is one of those that humans give to each other just for fun. You know, it's that gift for the pet owner who has everything.

In reviewing the illustrations, drawn by the author, I realized -- or should I say I prayed -- that no one would actually massage their prized feline in such a manner. The massage appears to more closely resemble the kneading of tough dough rather than anything of therapeutic value. Here's a passage from the book that will sum this up. "...gently flip cat over onto its back and direct a volley of rapid slaps to the midriff..."

Wha...? Okay, so either this is a humorous book or the author has never had a cat. Honey, if you deliver "a volley of rapid slaps" to my midriff, you won't live to write another book.

That being said...all-in-all, the book is very cute, the drawings are wonderfully fun and the text easy to read (I mean you'll read it in 20 minutes or less).
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