Customer Reviews

How to Massage Your Cat

5 star:		(23)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

I first got this book about 30 years ago, when I was a teenager. It made me laugh so hard then that it brought me to tears. Every few years I pull it out to share with someone and it STILL makes me cry with laughter. I'm sorry to find that some people have the opposite reaction. To me, it's hard to understand. I love my cat and know this book isn't meant seriously. It's a deliciously ridiculous 'how-to'. I will always love it.

A quick read, and very funny, if you have the right sense of humor. There is no real cruelty to animals being portrayed in this book, and the nonplussed look of the cat through the entire thing is priceless.

Our friends have dalmations, who they have trained to smile in a smarmy fashion. When they command the dogs "Smarmy dog!" the dogs lift their lips and sneer. It's a hoot. Naturally, THEY would be the ones to buy "How to Massage Your Cat."

They couldn't keep from gasping with laughter as they showed us this treasure. It's quasi-serious, but packed with funny drawings around the ludicrous concept of massaging the generally loosely constructed lump of flesh that is a feline. Of course, your cat may actually need to be massaged, but then, who doesn't?

This book is a masterpiece. Simple, funny, elegant prose with perfectly matched illustrations.

Sick and disturbing? Thats laughable. The only thing sick and disturbing is how someone can find this book sick and disturbing.

Get a grip. And start massaging (...). You might feel less uptight.

I found this book when I was out shopping with my mom at a novelty store. We laughed and laughed as we read it in the store. She bought it to give as a white elephant party gift, but she always regretted that the person who received it didn't seem to appreciate it as much as she did. I ordered this as a small gift for her, so she could finally have her own copy. Hilarious.

I was recently at the veterinarian with my sickly cat, and while waiting I saw this book in a pile. I opened it randomly to a page which included instructions for shaking your cat out and, of course, realized it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. I started back at the beginning, laughing to myself at the photos of a cat being stretched, kneaded like bread dough, and twisted. I'm definitely thinking of getting this as a gift for the cat lovers I know who have a good sense of humour.

If there are people out there who did not find this book funny, I can express nothing but sympathy. What a dull world you must live in.

I was laughing so hard in the bookstore people were staring. It's obvious a cat lover wrote the book, and anybody who takes it seriously has serious problems. If you actually tried this on a cat, you'd end up with no eyes and various open wounds. This is a simple, but extremely funny book that will make you laugh until you can't breathe.

When I first read the title (How to Massage Your Cat), I gotta tell you, I thought it was just crazy. Who is the least tense, most relaxed of the animal kingdom? Right, cats. I mean, how often have you encountered a feline friend fraught with angst. Rarely? Am I right? So, I thought the premise for this book was off base.

Wanting to be fair, however, I consulted with Lindsey and Noodles for outside opinions, and they said that they might not be averse to trying a little massage. On their recommendation, I read the book cover-to-cover to determine its efficacy.

Know what I found? It's worth little as a massage book -- I mean, tell your humans not to try this at home; they could hurt your limbs. However, it has great value for humor.

I think this book is one of those that humans give to each other just for fun. You know, it's that gift for the pet owner who has everything.

In reviewing the illustrations, drawn by the author, I realized -- or should I say I prayed -- that no one would actually massage their prized feline in such a manner. The massage appears to more closely resemble the kneading of tough dough rather than anything of therapeutic value. Here's a passage from the book that will sum this up. "...gently flip cat over onto its back and direct a volley of rapid slaps to the midriff..."

Wha...? Okay, so either this is a humorous book or the author has never had a cat. Honey, if you deliver "a volley of rapid slaps" to my midriff, you won't live to write another book.

That being said...all-in-all, the book is very cute, the drawings are wonderfully fun and the text easy to read (I mean you'll read it in 20 minutes or less). How to Massage Your Cat was originally written in 1985 and the most recent version has a copyright of 2003, and it's still on sale. Whew... anything that lasts more than 20 years must have something going for it.

About the author: Alice M. Brock used to own Alice's Restaurant of the Arlo Guthrie song and movie fame. She has also written a children's book Mooses Come Walking with Arlo himself. She admits How to Massage Your Cat is a spoof on self-help and how-to books.

On a scale of 5, I give How to Massage Your Cat 3 paws based on the humor factor and based on the fact that the scale is off because we only have 4 paws to give...

Reviewed by MaxtheQuiltCat: He's a writer, editor and photographer of the feline variety; therefore, he knows his stuff when it comes to cats.

I recently re-read this masterpiece and it confirmed my view that a solid massage is the best way to truly relax a feline companion. One of my old faithful pets is still in a state of blissful oblivion after all of these years.

This book makes me laugh til I cry. It is strange to see that anyone could think this book is advocating animal abuse, or that the cat in the book is killed. Felinicide? Is that even a word? The blissed-out look on the cat's face should make it obvious that he's not protesting his 'massage'. As a multiple-cat owner, it makes me laugh even THINKING about how silly it is to even want to massage a cat. Or that they'd find it 'relaxing'. Or that the masseuse would not end up a shredded mess. Anyone who was disappointed because they thought they were really buying a book on how to 'massage' a cat should have been looking for a basic cat care book. Because it's pretty basic knowledge that cats DON'T like being massaged, due to their very sensitive spinal nerve system. If you didn't like this book, then don't buy any of the CATWINGS books (another of my favourites). Because you'll be disappointed to find out that cats really can't fly. Only cat lovers will love this book- animal-haters will find it boring, not abuse inspiring. Buy this book just for the pictures. They're THAT funny.