Customer Reviews

How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Ch

5 star:		(25)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

The authors present a wealth of great information on how to avoid overindulging children (and they are very careful to explain how overindulgence is different than spoiling). The central overindulgence theme is explored through various topics such as "too many things", "too much freedom" or "too few rules", just to name a few. These subtopics make it easy to zero in on precise concerns, if necessary, but the text is still an easy and productive read from cover to cover.

The problem comes from trying to locate information specific to, say, dealing with toddlers or teens (there are even some strategies presented for dealing with adult children). Because the subtopics are presented as wholes, with information specific to various age groups mixed together, it may be difficult for a parent who needs information on a specific topic for a specific age group to find what he or she needs most. Parents are almost compelled to read through pages and pages of non-applicable information that they don't need, just to stumble across that which they do.

Particularly appreciated are the portions of the text dedicated to quoting adults who were overindulged as children. Reading about the difficulties they faced as a result of their upbringings will give extra support to parents struggling with making the transition to supporting parenting from overindulgent parenting.

Parents who have the time and willingness to read through the entire text in order to gain the overall picture of overindulgence and its many insidious forms will gain the most from the book. Parents facing an acute challenge requiring quick strategies and specific suggestions may wish to turn elsewhere.

What is overindulgence? Many people think that overindulging their child means to spoil them, but in reality, overindulgence is much more complex. In the newly released book How Much Is Enough?, authors Jean Illsley Clarke, PH.D, Connie Dawson, PH.D, and David Bredehoft, PH.D, strive to show parents and other influential adults how to raise children who are considerate, responsible, and polite by teaching them all about overindulgence and how to avoid it. All three authors have done extensive research on the issue of overindulgence and this is not a first publication on the topic for any of them.
How Much Is Enough? is an informational book, yet it cannot be described as a text book. One thing I really enjoyed about reading it is that not only does it present useful information and explain terms used; but it also presents us as readers with real life examples and stories so that we can apply the information and see where it might be useful. There are also many pictures and diagrams included so that we can visualize the most important points. Since we all learn best through different styles, the unique presentation of information is helpful. Also, a lot of the information is reiterated over again throughout the book so that we can fully understand what is being offered to us.
Humor is evident in How Much Is Enough? which makes the book much more enjoyable, easy to read, and easy to understand. Whether the reader is a parent, plans on being a parent someday, or works with children in any way, overindulgence is an issue that needs to be faced. This book truly addresses every issue on overindulgence and teaches readers everything they would ever want to know about the topic. I would recommend this book to everyone over the age of fourteen.

My first impulse is to say "yes" to my kids when they ask. I thought that was part of what being a parent was about. I want them to have fun, I want them to be happy, but I also want them to be functional, competent adults. This book gives me the information I need to be able to say "no" and have it stick, to establish boundaries, lay out expectations, and reward appropriate behaviors. Now I know that doing so gives my children what they need, not simply what they want. I think all parents should have a copy of this book. It is so very useful, and written in a way that does not blame, but shares information.

Jean Illsley Clarke's new book is remarkable! Using research from three research projects involving nearly 1,200 participants, she and her co-authors give concrete illustrations of overindulgent parenting and its unintended effects. It's hard to see my own behavior in some of the examples, but it's good to know that its never to late to make positive changes. How Much Is Enough includes excellent tools and practical advice to aid in the raising of "likeable, responsible and respectful children". I particularly like using the "Test of Four". I am so grateful that a book like this has come along. I am certain that using the materials in Clarke's How Much Is Enough will make a significant difference in my family's life now and in the future.

I have found this book to be extremely practical in its application to everyday life, both as a parent and beginning-therapist. It provides readers simple ways to identify overindulgence and methods for avoiding or overcoming it. This is a must-have for parents who believe that children benefit from clear boundaries. WARNING: it may cause you to rethink your parenting style and increase self-awareness! :) More work from these authors on the subject matter is requested.

The basic informational examples were helpful. They showed how one can easily tip the scales in parenting and surprisingly be overindulging. They were able to support how an example was overindulging by following through on how the action would eventually negatively affect the child.

However, there were also bold statements riddled throughout the book about how an act is bad parenting without any true supportive evidence. The writing style is hard to swallow. Whereas there are informational examples in the first part of the book showing how a particular parenting style is overindulgent, the preachy "be a better person than the rest of society" attitude is inhibiting to the message.
[for those that have read the book - the "how to handle yourself when a child is acting up on an airplane" section didn't seem to flow with rest of the book. It seemed as if the authors had a personal issue. Besides, they never explain what age they are referring to. An 18 month old screaming or kicking or running up and down the aisles doesn't deserve strangers rudeness. How much reasoning are you going to do with an 18 month old?]

Amazon will not allow me to change my rating. I made the mistake of reviewing the item prior to finishing the book. Because the first part of the book is where some of the questionable statements are made I was initially put-off. However, deeper into the book is more useful information provided with straighforward, non-judgmental viewpoints. I would rate this resource FOUR STARS. ****

Overindulgence may be the farthest thing from a child welfare social worker's mind when the subject of child maltreatment, child abuse, or child neglect comes under discussion. Overindulgence, while not a statutory category of child maltreatment, may provide a lens and language useful in multi-problem child welfare cases that enhances assessment and effective strengths-based communications with courts, advocates, therapists, and parents. Child welfare prioritizes goals of remaining together as a family with health, safety, and benefit to the children's growth and development, and frequently utilizes parent education as a primary opportunity for communication, assessment, and intervention.
A recently released book by Clarke, Dawson, and Bredehoft (2004) presents research on overindulgence in a manner that adds potentially relevant concepts to child welfare work. Parent education and child welfare share concerns of balancing nurture, structure, and resources to prevent disruptions in children's development, health, and safety. Clarke, Dawson, and Bredehoft (2004) describe overindulgence as parenting that hinders children from accomplishing developmental tasks and prevents them from learning life skills. Whether extremes of abundance or deficits exist, a frame of reference for understanding how to strike a desired balance between excess and insufficiency may provide a vital missing piece in assessment and in empowering the healing process for families of all backgrounds. Using scientific research to identify adverse outcomes affecting children's lives, this new book on overindulgence includes presentation of assessment techniques and the necessary action steps to assist families in rebalancing their parenting.

A very readable book loaded with straightforward advice that can be easily implemented.

I bought this book fearing that perhaps it was for wealthy parents. Not the case. Rather, the book argues convincingly that children of all socio-economic backgrounds can be and too frequently are overindulged.

"Johnnie go to your room. OK?" Wrong. "Johnnie go to your room. Do you understand?" Right. Big difference. It turns out that it's little things that make a big difference.

This one is a definite must-read.

As parents of a toddler, my spouse and I work hard everyday at giving our child the best of ourselves and the world around her. This book is a wonderful guide that reminds us how to give the best, and that the best isn't always more of something. The book is filled with examples that really drive home the main concepts. Additionally, the writing is very straightforward, making it easy to apply to one's own life. I find myself recalling phrases and examples from the book when faced with challenging parenting situations. This is a relevant reference for all parents and caregivers.

I enjoyed reading Jean Illsely Clarke's book "How Much Is Enough?" and gained insight into my own behaviors and patterns of overindulgence. Jean's book clearly defines and identifies overindulgence and assists the reader in recognizing and changing unhealthy overindulging behaviors. Even though I am not a parent, I was able to see how I currently overindulge myself, my husband, nieces, nephews, family and friends. I believe overindulgence is a world-wide epidemic. I passed my book onto my brother, so, hopefully, we can start changing the world, one family at a time. Thanks Jean for writing this wonderful book!