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43 of 44 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great Information, but hard to follow
The authors present a wealth of great information on how to avoid overindulging children (and they are very careful to explain how overindulgence is different than spoiling). The central overindulgence theme is explored through various topics such as "too many things", "too much freedom" or "too few rules", just to name a few. These subtopics make it easy to zero in on...
Published on April 3, 2004 by Marsha Wood Wirtel

versus
16 of 22 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Very useful information imbedded in difficult reading
The basic informational examples were helpful. They showed how one can easily tip the scales in parenting and surprisingly be overindulging. They were able to support how an example was overindulging by following through on how the action would eventually negatively affect the child.

However, there were also bold statements riddled throughout the book about...
Published on March 13, 2006 by H. Lee


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43 of 44 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great Information, but hard to follow, April 3, 2004
By 
Marsha Wood Wirtel (Philly's Western 'Burbs) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Ch (Paperback)
The authors present a wealth of great information on how to avoid overindulging children (and they are very careful to explain how overindulgence is different than spoiling). The central overindulgence theme is explored through various topics such as "too many things", "too much freedom" or "too few rules", just to name a few. These subtopics make it easy to zero in on precise concerns, if necessary, but the text is still an easy and productive read from cover to cover.
The problem comes from trying to locate information specific to, say, dealing with toddlers or teens (there are even some strategies presented for dealing with adult children). Because the subtopics are presented as wholes, with information specific to various age groups mixed together, it may be difficult for a parent who needs information on a specific topic for a specific age group to find what he or she needs most. Parents are almost compelled to read through pages and pages of non-applicable information that they don't need, just to stumble across that which they do.
Particularly appreciated are the portions of the text dedicated to quoting adults who were overindulged as children. Reading about the difficulties they faced as a result of their upbringings will give extra support to parents struggling with making the transition to supporting parenting from overindulgent parenting.
Parents who have the time and willingness to read through the entire text in order to gain the overall picture of overindulgence and its many insidious forms will gain the most from the book. Parents facing an acute challenge requiring quick strategies and specific suggestions may wish to turn elsewhere.
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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars How Much Is Enough Book Review, November 30, 2004
By 
Larissa G (St. Paul, MN USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Ch (Paperback)
What is overindulgence? Many people think that overindulging their child means to spoil them, but in reality, overindulgence is much more complex. In the newly released book How Much Is Enough?, authors Jean Illsley Clarke, PH.D, Connie Dawson, PH.D, and David Bredehoft, PH.D, strive to show parents and other influential adults how to raise children who are considerate, responsible, and polite by teaching them all about overindulgence and how to avoid it. All three authors have done extensive research on the issue of overindulgence and this is not a first publication on the topic for any of them.

How Much Is Enough? is an informational book, yet it cannot be described as a text book. One thing I really enjoyed about reading it is that not only does it present useful information and explain terms used; but it also presents us as readers with real life examples and stories so that we can apply the information and see where it might be useful. There are also many pictures and diagrams included so that we can visualize the most important points. Since we all learn best through different styles, the unique presentation of information is helpful. Also, a lot of the information is reiterated over again throughout the book so that we can fully understand what is being offered to us.

Humor is evident in How Much Is Enough? which makes the book much more enjoyable, easy to read, and easy to understand. Whether the reader is a parent, plans on being a parent someday, or works with children in any way, overindulgence is an issue that needs to be faced. This book truly addresses every issue on overindulgence and teaches readers everything they would ever want to know about the topic. I would recommend this book to everyone over the age of fourteen.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Necessary information for effective parenting, March 24, 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Ch (Paperback)
My first impulse is to say "yes" to my kids when they ask. I thought that was part of what being a parent was about. I want them to have fun, I want them to be happy, but I also want them to be functional, competent adults. This book gives me the information I need to be able to say "no" and have it stick, to establish boundaries, lay out expectations, and reward appropriate behaviors. Now I know that doing so gives my children what they need, not simply what they want. I think all parents should have a copy of this book. It is so very useful, and written in a way that does not blame, but shares information.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A practical resource for parents and caregivers, February 4, 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Ch (Paperback)
As parents of a toddler, my spouse and I work hard everyday at giving our child the best of ourselves and the world around her. This book is a wonderful guide that reminds us how to give the best, and that the best isn't always more of something. The book is filled with examples that really drive home the main concepts. Additionally, the writing is very straightforward, making it easy to apply to one's own life. I find myself recalling phrases and examples from the book when faced with challenging parenting situations. This is a relevant reference for all parents and caregivers.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Conscience and Personal Economy, October 6, 2004
By 
This review is from: How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Ch (Paperback)
We might say this book, How Much Is Enough, is about parenting, or grandparenting, both subjects the authors have accumulated a great deal of information on from their research. We could say this book speaks about materialism in the family, economy, and resource allocation. But the sterling core of this book is about conscience. The authors, in every chapter, in graphic examples, ask the question: "Is anyone being hurt by each decision and action we personally make?"

We live in a time where our culture does not speak out about the value of conscience. We have overfilled jails and juvenile facilities, overactive pharmaceutical industries and financial institutions, but where do we hear about the value of knowing and doing what is right? Has this become an unpopular notion?

These authors give us guidelines to be able to judge for ourselves where the lines are between what is enough, and what is overindulgence. This book illustrates through narrative examples what happens, what the effects are, when this line is crossed over. In a time when consumerism is encouraged and having more is considered better, these authors cause us to ask ourselves if we even know how much is enough. Their research shows us the consequences: to individuals, to families, and to our culture when the concept of enough becomes cloudy.

Using a very clear test of four questions, the authors teach us to have means to judge our interactions with others in our lives. While speaking specifically about interactions between children and their responsible caregivers, the book puts us in the detective's seat to be able to see how a given situation could be interpreted as either helpful or harmful, and how to discern the difference.

When helping can seem like hurting, and hurting can seem like helping, how exactly are we to be able to know what is really occurring? This book gives us the tools and skills to clearly see which path to take. It presents a calculus of human behavior, with if ... then equations that describe the actual content of interactions in a way we can quantitively define the correct outcome.

While being readable, interesting, and enjoyable, this book transforms us. After reading How Much is Enough, no one can proceed without having a different view of personal economy. We are challenged to look at ourselves, our decisions, our acts, and consider if anyone is being hurt before we proceed. This book gives us a tangible grip on conscience and how to use it in everyday ways.

Myra Fourwinds, M.A.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Recognizing Overindulgence Without Being A Parent, November 23, 2004
By 
P. Ogborn (Stillwater, MN USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Ch (Paperback)
I enjoyed reading Jean Illsely Clarke's book "How Much Is Enough?" and gained insight into my own behaviors and patterns of overindulgence. Jean's book clearly defines and identifies overindulgence and assists the reader in recognizing and changing unhealthy overindulging behaviors. Even though I am not a parent, I was able to see how I currently overindulge myself, my husband, nieces, nephews, family and friends. I believe overindulgence is a world-wide epidemic. I passed my book onto my brother, so, hopefully, we can start changing the world, one family at a time. Thanks Jean for writing this wonderful book!
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Overindulgence: a plague on our society., May 8, 2006
This review is from: How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Ch (Paperback)
I have found this book to be extremely practical in its application to everyday life, both as a parent and beginning-therapist. It provides readers simple ways to identify overindulgence and methods for avoiding or overcoming it. This is a must-have for parents who believe that children benefit from clear boundaries. WARNING: it may cause you to rethink your parenting style and increase self-awareness! :) More work from these authors on the subject matter is requested.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An ideal instruction manual and guide, May 15, 2004
This review is from: How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Ch (Paperback)
The collaborative and very highly recommended work of parenting experts Jean Illsley Clarke, Connie Dawson, and David Bredehoft, How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need To Know To Steer Clear Of Overindulgence And Raise Likeable, Responsible And Respectful Children From Toddlers To Teens is an ideal instruction manual and guide for anyone wanting to establish firm and fair rules and structures for their children at each stage of their childhood development. Of special utility is the advice on what to do when friends or family (especially doting grandparents!) overindulge the children. There's even counseling on how to break a generational cycle when the parent was overindulged as a child.
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10 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars How Much Is Enough? Everything You Need to Know..., December 8, 2003
By 
"gingernut43" (Eden Prairie, MN United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Ch (Paperback)
Jean Illsley Clarke's new book is remarkable! Using research from three research projects involving nearly 1,200 participants, she and her co-authors give concrete illustrations of overindulgent parenting and its unintended effects. It's hard to see my own behavior in some of the examples, but it's good to know that its never to late to make positive changes. How Much Is Enough includes excellent tools and practical advice to aid in the raising of "likeable, responsible and respectful children". I particularly like using the "Test of Four". I am so grateful that a book like this has come along. I am certain that using the materials in Clarke's How Much Is Enough will make a significant difference in my family's life now and in the future.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A fascinating way to look at things, July 16, 2008
This review is from: How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Ch (Paperback)
Some types of overindulgence are obvious, but what made this book so fascinating were the more subtle nuances.

Also, the specific examples and dialogues are super-useful; meaning, SPECIFIC examples of what to say in certain situations and lots of illustrative example situations.

I know that parenting cannot be learned from a book, but damned if this book doesn't come as close as possible! I read it on loan from the library and MUST have my own copy, as the mom of a two-year-old!
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