Customer Reviews

How Not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Mid-List Author

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I ordered this once, the order got cancelled, and I hurriedly ordered it again, so eager was I to read it based on what I'd heard. What I'd heard was wrong. In addition to rambling on about himself and/or nothing, Armstrong offers only warmed-over advice from other published books on writing. That's right, he's done no original research with any primary sources whatsoever. He takes lots of advice from King's _On Writing_ (making sure also to tell us in detail about King's van accident and how the driver was found dead the following year...and what does this have to do with advice on how not to write a novel?) and plenty of mildly relevant personal experiences, such as joining the Crime Writers' Association (though he didn't have much time to devote to it because he'd just started a new romantic relationship, you see). The advice he offers isn't bad (with one exception), but you could easily cut out the middleman by buying this advice in its original packaging rather than Amrstrong's dull recycling.

The exception to the good advice is the repeatd mantra: Don't do it. Don't be a writer. Just don't do it, you'll regret it, and so on. This would have been clever once or twice, but he does it over and over and over again. Excuse me, but if I weren't serious about writing I probably wouldn't have bought your f*cking book, now, would I? As if a single book is going to talk me--or anybody else--out of it.

This is minor compared to the other flaws the book contains, but Armstrong and/or his editor have absolutely no idea how to punctuate. He sprinkles commas, liberally, throughout, to the point where, they make no sense and, slow down, or stop your comprehension. This leads as well to some truly leviathan sentences--I counted no fewer than 9 clauses in one of them. Sheesh.

How not to write a novel - David Armstrong (2003)
(published by Alison and Busby Ltd ISBN 0 7490 0680 3)

This is a useful, and refreshingly honest, book on the subject: 'Why you shouldn't try to write a novel.'

The author of this book gave up a remunerative teaching career, thinking he could become a successful writer instead, and fell into a lot of pitfalls thereafter that he didn't anticipate beforehand. With the benefit of 20-20 hindsight, he takes the trouble to give the wisdom of his experience about the dismal life of an aspiring writer to those who are foolish and naive enough to be thinking about embarking on writing a novel for a living, to save them misunderstanding the process or the probable outcome. The author has had five novels published in the last decade, but he hasn't made it into the 'big-time', and those five books have netted him very little money indeed (somewhere around £15,000-UK in total, over an entire decade of writing - with the opportunity to earn his living on something far more remunerative having been foregone).

The author explains, in particular, why writing a novel is probably going to turn out to be a waste of effort for most people if they want to see themselves in print, successful and rich: (a) The supply of books by would-be authors massively exceeds demand: therefore publishers can pick and choose, without responsibility, between manuscripts submitted by huge numbers of budding writers; (b) Even if you write a book, you will find it very difficult to get it published - at least, unless you are already a well-known name in some other field that the public have already heard of, so as to make your book marketable, or your parents happen to be in the publishing business already; (c) Even if you get it published, your novel won't sell in any great quantity unless you were already a household name known to Joe Public, and will quickly disappear from your local bookshop, so you will make so little money out of it (a few hundred pounds per book, maybe, even if you are lucky) that you will have wasted your time putting the book together in the first place.

This is a very useful book for anyone thinking of embarking on a writing career as a would-be novelist for money or fame. The advice of the author, stressed at the end of every chapter, is a clear: Write for fun by all means, if you wish, but don't waste your time and energy on trying to write a novel if your motives are money, success or fame, because you probably won't get published; it almost certainly won't pay you to do so; and you will find the whole process hopelessly frustrating. Learn the xylophone instead.

This book won't stop people trying to succeed as writers, but at least those who read it will be made more street-wise early on, and know what the obstacles and the low probability of success are.

Not your typical "How To" writer's book, as the title implies, but more like a guided tour of the often harsh realities that are part of being a non-bestselling author. Armstrong's eloquent voice combined with blunt honesty and concise details make this an important book for anyone who has ever written a novel, or has considered doing so with illusions of bestseller lists, packed-house book signings, and full-size window displays at Barnes & Noble. Excellent personal anecdotes relating to the publication and promotion of Armstrong's own novels make this book very informative, as well as entertaining.

How Not To Write A Novel is more about your mentality while writing your "best seller", than helpful tips on the don'ts.

However he does provide Tips and Summaries at the end of each chapter which are insightful.

This book should be read by all aspiring to be published; it's the reality of the book business (and make no mistake, it is a business above all else).

Mr. Armstrong takes the rose colored glasses off your eyes to let you know that even the JK Rowlings and Stephen Kings were sent hundreds of rejection letters and you will too! Getting published appears more to be about luck than the quality of your writing, and that's only for the really good writers (God help us midlisters).

Read it for 2 reasons: 1) After reading this and getting passed the depression, the newly acquired knowledge of the need for a 2nd job, you'll still write your novel anyway! 2) Now you know...

I give it 3 stars for being succinct and well organized.
This book has got rhythm, and a dusty window into the life of most real writers. Also, I totally agree with the author about James N Frey's books on "how to write damn good" fiction. (don't buy them)

Unfortunately, this author doesn't say anything that I didn't already know from reading author blogs. Also, this author's life stories are so so and downbeat.

The book is a hybrid between an autobiography and an encyclopedia about publishing. Each chapter title is some publishing term, where the author tells us his experience with that aspect of publishing. Somehow, the authors little stories are not deep or informative enough to hold my interest.

How Not To Write A Novel is more about your mentality while writing your "best seller", than helpful tips on the don'ts.

However he does provide Tips and Summaries at the end of each chapter which are insightful.

This book should be read by all aspiring to be published; it's the reality of the book business (and make no mistake, it is a business above all else).

Mr. Armstrong takes the rose colored glasses off your eyes to let you know that even the JK Rowlings and Stephen Kings were sent hundreds of rejection letters and you will too! Getting published appears more to be about luck than the quality of your writing, and that's only for the really good writers (God help us midlisters).

Read it for 2 reasons: 1) After reading this and getting passed the depression, the newly acquired knowledge of the need for a 2nd job, you'll still write your novel anyway! 2) Now you know...

Doesn't tell you how to write, how boring would that be, tells you that your on the right track. Helps you to understand that what your probably doing is correct and regular, and that you can make it.