How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together: Breakthrough Strategies to Solve Your Conflicts and Reignite Your Love [Hardcover]

Susan Page (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 20, 1997

This breakthrough book, How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together, suggests a completely different approach for improving a marriage.  Susan Page dispels the myth that repairing a relationship is necessarily a two-person task and shows that making changes in your marriage by yourself is an effective and a low-stress strategy.  Based on the premise that what you do in a relationship changes how you feel about it, Page shows you how you can take individual action that will result in mutual strength and happiness.

Step by step, Page demonstrates that the secret to a thriving marriage is finding the balance between taking care of yourself and extending good will to your partner.  Through a series of experiments, she introduces the concept of Loving Leadership and presents a range of solo strategies for creating harmony in a marriage, including how to:

* Develop fresh perspectives about your relationship
* Overcome resentment and move beyond blame
* Solve major problems--one at a time
* Ensure that your needs are met regardless of your partner's actions
* Recapture lost intimacy

With tangible goals, you can work through your own frustrations to arrive at new thinking and new actions.  In this wise and inspiring book, you will learn, as Susan Page writes, that: "Deciding to work alone on your relationship gives you enormous power, not power over your partner, but inner power and personal
strength.  Working alone on your relationship gives you an unparalleled opportunity to grow."

For anyone in a relationship that needs major repairs--or just a little TLC--here is the ultimate do-it-yourself handbook.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Page (Now That I'm Married, Why Isn't Everything Perfect?, LJ 1/94) believes in approaching things differently. Contrary to the mainstream "couples" approach to relational counseling, Page convincingly claims that just one person in a relationship can create momentous positive growth that will bring both people closer together. She believes that for every action there is always an equal, opposite reaction, and that one person's fundamental shift toward "good will" lays the foundation for a better relationship. Page begins with the practical strategies that one person can use to repair a relationship, then turns to philosophical underpinnings. Her consistent standard for her advice is practicality and ease of use. This breakthrough book belongs in all libraries.?David R. Johnson, Fayetteville P.L., Ariz.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From the Publisher

"If you have any doubts that one of you can have an impact on your relationship, you won't after you read this extraordinary book. Susan Page turns old assumptions on their heads and offers new ideas that will make a difference in your life."
--John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

"Every couple should read this book. Through many heartwarming and insightful stories, you will learn wonderful new behaviors you can easily adopt--you just never thought of them!"
--Jack Canfield, coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Soul

"This remarkable book gives a brightness of hope and enormously practical ideas on how only one person can profoundly improve the relationship."
--Stephen R. Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: Broadway; 1 edition (January 20, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553067303
• ISBN-13: 978-0553067309
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.4 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,191,913 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Repeat Oprah guest Susan Page has been conducting workshops for both singles and couples, nationally and internationally since 1980. She has keynoted dozens of relationship conventions and was invited to share the platform with John Gray at his recent Masonic Auditorium event in San Francisco. Her international speaking and media career has taken her to twenty-six states, Canada, Korea, Australia, and Mexico. She is a past chapter president of the National Speakers Association.
Page was a consultant to writer/director Gary Goldberg on the movie Must Love Dogs, released by Warner Pictures in August of 2005.

A veteran of national television and radio, Susan Page has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America, CNN, NPR, Donahue, Geraldo, Leeza, Montel Williams, Sonya Live, The Diane Rehm Show plus dozens of other radio and TV shows across the country.
Excerpts of Susan's works have appeared or been reviewed in People Magazine, USA Today, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Glamour, Self, New Woman, McCall's, Woman, Marriage and scores of other publications.
Susan Page is the author of four books about relationships plus a publishing guide for writers.

Her first book, If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? has been translated into twenty foreign languages. It was the number one bestseller in Russia in 1994. Page's books have sold more than a million copies in the U.S. and worldwide.

Susan Page is a graduate of Oberlin College and holds a Master of Divinity degree from San Francisco Theological Seminary. She began her career as campus minister at Washington University in St. Louis and at Columbia University in New York. Later, she served as Director of Women's Programs at the University of California, Berkeley, where she helped found the nation's first university-based human sexuality program.
When she is not conducting workshops in the United States, Susan Page lives in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico with her husband of twenty-five years.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

240 of 246 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Lots to think about here..., January 26, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together: Breakthrough Strategies to Resolve Your Conflicts and Reignite Your Love (Paperback)

I am a man, and this review is for other men. I'm going to figure that you are looking for a book on relationships because you are having problems with your own relationship. As a man, you are probably goal oriented and practical - you have a problem, you are looking for solutions, and maybe a book will help. There are lots of books out there - which to pick? Susan Page's book is valuable, and I do recommend it. There is quite a lot of useful information here, and lots to think about. Expect to spend some time with this book. She takes a highly behavioral approach - you are asked to first believe that your relationship will work, and to act loving toward your partner. If you change your beliefs and behaviors, she maintains, then you will see your relationship flourish and the feelings between you and your partner will grow. If your orientation is different - for example, if you believe that it's more important to search for and heal the underlying childhood wounds that cause you to think, feel, and behave in the ways you do - then you may not be happy with this book. My advice to you, however, is that you NOT read this book first. I'm not convinced that there is one book out there that will give you everything you need to know to "fix" things, or at least I haven't found it. I have a thick skull, and it has taken reading several things for these ideas to start to penetrate. I think you will have an easier time understanding and accepting what Susan Page is saying if you read a few other things first. Here are some other books you might wish to search for also: (1) "Communication Miracles for Couples," by Jonathan Robinson - this book is very short and accessible, and you will find some of the same ideas. After you start to understand some of this stuff, I think you will have an easier time working through Susan Page's book, which is much more detailed. (2)If you are heterosexual, I think you may find it helpful to read something about the differences between men and women. You don't have to buy into all of it, but the girls probably do think differently than us, and it will get you thinking. So consider John Gray's "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Along a similar vein, and an absolute bargain at only about $5, is the book "Light Her Fire" by Ellen Kreidman, which is extremely practical. Happy reading, and good luck!

107 of 109 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book is AMAZING!, March 14, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together: Breakthrough Strategies to Resolve Your Conflicts and Reignite Your Love (Paperback)

...it completely changed my outlook on so many issues I had been struggling with. Other relationship books try to teach you how to fix specific problems- and every relationship has different problems and circumstances. This book teaches you how to view your problem in a different way (regardless of what the problem is) which will ultimately stop the pattern that is creating the arguement in the first place. It is like no other book that i have read. I had a hard time getting past the idea of taking on all the work and responsibilty of "doing it by myself", but you really arent- your new actions will create changes within your partner-kinda like he/she is working on it too and making changes without even knowing it. I HIGHLY recommend this book. I am not usually into doing the "excercises" but some of the results I found were amazing (and instant).

84 of 85 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars best book I've ever read on relationships, December 29, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together: Breakthrough Strategies to Resolve Your Conflicts and Reignite Your Love (Paperback)

Like everyone else says, this is a tremendous book, and it is by far the best and wisest book I've ever read on relationships, and I've read more than a few. It is much better than couples therapy and provides immediate results and feedback.

The book empowers readers to improve their relationships without having to persuade their spouse to be involved at all - the spouse's behavior changes without effort when you apply the principles in this book.

The book is especially useful for people who feel like the problems in their relationship are all their partner's fault, or who spend a lot of energy being angry about their partner's behavior and failure to meet their needs, or who feel like their partner has all the power. Reading this book causes a complete mind shift, and even if you don't put everything into practice (which takes some self-control and a willingness to change your own behavior), your attitude will be greatly improved and your outlook more positive on your relationship.

When I read this book, I found myself astonished at its obvious good sense and the fact that no one else has written anything like it.

Buy it and read it!