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How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship & Musical Theater (Teen's Top 10 (Awards)) [Kindle Edition]

Marc Acito
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (89 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $11.95
Kindle Price: $7.69
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Sold by: Random House LLC

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Book Description

A deliciously funny romp of a novel about one overly theatrical and sexually confused New Jersey teenager’s larcenous quest for his acting school tuition

It’s 1983 in Wallingford, New Jersey, a sleepy bedroom community outside of Manhattan. Seventeen-year-old Edward Zanni, a feckless Ferris Bueller–type, is Peter Panning his way through a carefree summer of magic and mischief. The fun comes to a halt, however, when Edward’s father remarries and refuses to pay for Edward to study acting at Juilliard.

Edward’s truly in a bind. He’s ineligible for scholarships because his father earns too much. He’s unable to contact his mother because she’s somewhere in Peru trying to commune with Incan spirits. And, as a sure sign he’s destined for a life in the arts, Edward’s incapable of holding down a job. So he turns to his loyal (but immoral) misfit friends to help him steal the tuition money from his father, all the while practicing for his high school performance of Grease. Disguising themselves as nuns and priests, they merrily scheme their way through embezzlement, money laundering, identity theft, forgery, and blackmail. But, along the way, Edward also learns the value of friendship, hard work, and how you’re not really a man until you can beat up your father—metaphorically, that is.

How I Paid for College is a farcical coming-of-age story that combines the first-person tone of David Sedaris with the byzantine plot twists of Armistead Maupin. It is a novel for anyone who has ever had a dream or a scheme, and it marks the introduction to an original and audacious talent.


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Columnist and first-time novelist Marc Acito has been called the "gay Dave Barry." But don't expect to find riffs on bad traffic, pirate-speak, and all-writer rock bands in Acito's debut, How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship & Musical Theater. As stated in the title, this book finds humor and adventure mainly in those topics that would most appeal to a stereotypically gay audience: musicals, piano bars, and sex, sex, sex.

Did I mention the sex? By the end of the book, the teenage characters are so liberated that they'd probably find an evening at Studio 54 slightly mundane. All kinds of interesting scenarios arise when Ed Zanni, a bisexual high-school drama club star from suburban New Jersey, is denied tuition to Julliard by his well-to-do father and wicked step mother. Fortunately his close friends, Paula (ample of body, unlucky in love), Kelly (Ed's cheerleader girlfriend), Doug (his football player love interest), Natie (a nerd with a gift for white-collar crime) and Ziba, (a regal, Middle Eastern beauty), are very willing to engage in fraud, forgery, and blackmail to help him pay for drama school. Ah, high school.

Despite the naughty bits, How I Paid for College is actually rather sweet. Set in high school as it is, Acito's book is somewhat reminiscent of young adult fiction. Yes, there's a lot more homoerotica than the Sweet Valley High series could have prepared readers for, but still it reminds one of those early days--full of tragedy and disappointment--and yet safely nestled in a time of life before real tragedy and disappointment usually set in. It's easy to forget this is a book for adults... until the three-ways commence. And a fast-moving, light-hearted story with three-ways? Well, entertainment-wise, readers could do a lot worse. --Leah Weathersby

From Publishers Weekly

Portland humor columnist Acito debuts with dazzling comic panache in this story of a teenage would-be swindler and budding drama queen. Edward Zanni is dying to escape boring Wallingford, N.J., for the hallowed halls of Juilliard, and he's got a pretty good chance at it. It's summer, and he's palling around with his fellow Play People, who include his gorgeous girlfriend, Kelly, and his hot jock pal, Doug, and dreaming of stardom. The fly in the ointment is Zanni's money-obsessed father, Al, who pulls the financial plug on Edward's Juilliard dream after marrying a trophy babe, a beautiful, icy Teutonic model named Dagmar. Edward counters dad's penny-pinching by moving in with Kelly's family to establish financial independence for a scholarship, but bombs at several minimum-wage jobs. How will he pay for college now that his audition—really a public mental breakdown—got him in? His devious buddy, Nathan, concocts a plan to steal from gold-digging Dagmar, who's been siphoning Al's cash into a secret account. Edward and pals set up a fake nonprofit designed to award a Juilliard scholarship to someone born in Hoboken (Edward)—but there's a problem. Acito nails his scenes one after another, from Edward's shifting (but always enthusiastic) sexuality to the silly messes he gets himself into. The result is a thumbs-up winner from a storyteller whose future looks as bright as that of his young hero.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Product Details

  • File Size: 764 KB
  • Print Length: 348 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 076791841X
  • Publisher: Broadway Books (September 7, 2004)
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B000FC27NQ
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #277,880 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
18 of 21 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny and Sweet Coming of Age Novel December 14, 2004
Format:Hardcover
How I Paid For College is a funny and sweet coming of age novel--with lots of sex, for a change. Ed, the narrator-protagonist, is about to enter his senior year in high school and his main goal in life is to go to Julliard, but his business-oriented dad decides that Julliard won't get him anywhere in life, so he won't pay for it. Ed and his amusing friends set off on a quest to come up with the cash to pay for college. It's 1984, so college isn't quite the expensive proposition we now know it to be, but Ed still has got to come up with quite a chunk of change. The novel isn't really about with getting money for college, it is really about getting the courage to see who you truly are. Ed realizes his own sexuality, as do most of his friends. They also become comfortable in their roles in high school (as "Play People") and by the end of the novel are pretty well-adjusted 18-year olds. This is a charming novel for many reasons. Ed is a lovable narrator and his sarcastic, cynical and hilarious look at the New Jersey suburbs in the early 80s is priceless and hilarious. This novel will make you laugh out loud and will always keep you smiling. Enjoy.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant! July 6, 2005
Format:Hardcover
Being of reasonably sound mind and currently in my fourth year of college I rarely find the time to sit down and indulge in the finer things in life. You should know I mean a book that isn't on a professor's reading list. This book in particular was handed to me by a friend and I read the entire novel in one sitting on a Saturday. I did lunch sat down and couldn't put it down until it was time for a smashingly late dinner.

This book almost made me miss high school which is saying something considering I've long since put those four years away on the glory days shelf and lived in the here and very now. The way Acito mixes his elements of humor, drama, classic high school angst and hijinks... this is one of the best books I've read all year. There were times I was laughing so hard I was crying and my friend would stop to ask which part I was on and giggle along with me, reminiscing about when they had read it too.

I've already thrust the title on numerous people, indicating that it was a must read and if you're even so much as considering it, then yes! Buy this book, you will not regret it!

-Julie, UGA - History Major
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13 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious October 19, 2005
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is one of the funniest books I've ever read. I can't even count how many times I laughed out loud. This novel is not for the prudish or for young children. Everyone else who likes to laugh: Read it immediately.

It features a fast-paced plot and wonderfully interesting characters. The main character is a bisexual high school senior who loves to act and hates to work. His friends are a drama geek/football player, a guy who loves to break the law, and a beautiful, sweet girl who loves sex. And then there is the evil stepmonster, the handicapped gay drama teacher, Frank Sinatra's minions, and a bunch of other fun folks who make this book a lively, laugh-out-loud success.
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23 of 31 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Some problems October 17, 2004
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
It is unfortunate that this book was allowed to be sold to the public without warnings.

The first should concern shockable homophobics with heart disorders. They could be suckered into reading this by the way it starts out as an interesting coming of age romance - "Catcher in the Rye" (to which deliberate reference in made) set in suburban New Jersey in the 1980's with a few innocuous ethnic jibes ("I felt at home there. Jews are like Italians only smarter") and social satiric jabs ("You can tell that sophisticated people live here because all their photographs are black and white."). Then they may need advanced cardiac life support soon after page 99 (where the sex is more or less hetero). A wise precaution might be to test them out with small doses of Augusten Burroughs and Sedaris.

A second warning is for insomniacs like me who read themselves to sleep rather than take Ambien. I finished it at three this morning. Luckily it's Sunday.

The third caveat is about reading it in any place where you might look odd laughing aloud. There's a high laugh aloud risk factor. Maybe the PATH from Christopher Street to Hoboken would be safe because everybody else will be reading it.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best teen comedies ever written December 5, 2006
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
What a joyful and hilarious romp this book is! Reading it is like watching a zany, screwball comedy- there were some bits that had me laughing so hard I had to take a moment and just revel in the wackiness. I mean, try to keep a straight face when the hero's evil Teutonic stepmonster confronts him on his girlfriend's front porch with charges of stealing. Or while the Creative Vandalism team is wreaking havoc on the neighborhood.

The most gratifying quality of `How I Paid for College' isn't, however, the book's comedy but its great sense of the general goodness of mankind. Marc Acito loves and respects his characters very much, even when they are in trouble, and the reader finishes the book with the sense of high good humor usually reserved for the best kind of `feel good' movie. In fact, in order to accurately describe the book to friends, and you will find yourself talking about it with your friends, it's easiest to rely on theatrical or cinematic vocabulary. Part of the reason is the racing, hilarious quality of the story, but mostly it's because the story has a `here and now' quality to them. For example, the scene (see?) of the school's opening night of Godspell perfectly conveys the quiet, awesome roar you feel yourself part of when something really extraordinary is happening on stage or on the screen. Being able to make the reader a part of that is a gift. How I Paid For College is a superb coming-of-age story and it would make a great movie, but it's perfectly fine to read it for the belly laughs, too. In fact, I hope you do buy this madcap book. You're going to love it, and you're going to be glad you did.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Well-meaning, but a little confused in tone.
I was a little thrown by the fact that the protagonist self-identified as bisexual - admittedly it wasn't quite what I was expecting. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Rocky Sunico
4.0 out of 5 stars Comment
It reach my address well, according to my expectation, but the package little bit broken. Is it because of the sending or opened by someone?
Published 9 months ago by Helmi
4.0 out of 5 stars Good humor
I really like a book that has me laughing out loud like I did with this one. Goofy characters and situations make for that.
Published 17 months ago by Robert Clever
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny and Open and Loving
This really is a high school novel but very open in its acceptance of all sorts of people and lifestyles. It's the love of people and stories and theater that comes through most.
Published 17 months ago by Pam Freshney
5.0 out of 5 stars Great graduation present from a "Cool" aunt or uncle
This tells the hilarious story of an aspiring actor/singer securing his place at Juillard, after his father denies him tuition money for anything other than "Business. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Kelley Hickey
4.0 out of 5 stars Great for theater geeks
Very funny book, also very touching. My only criticism is that in a couple of places it is slightly more than R-rated, which makes it hard for me to recommend it for the young... Read more
Published 19 months ago by 2much2do
5.0 out of 5 stars Drama queens and torn jeans--teens coming of age
I was browsing my friend's bookshelves when I found an ORANGE book spine and cover. Orange is my totem color (if you can have a totem animal, why not a power color? Read more
Published 22 months ago by Denise Weeks
5.0 out of 5 stars Smiling At Any Age
I wasn't sure I if this book would be way past my age barrier (in the 50's here). However, it made me smile and bring back memories of long ago. Read more
Published 23 months ago by J. P. Taflinger
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful
This book has made me just feel great, there are highs and lows, but in the end I feel like a better person
Published 24 months ago by Alexander W. King
2.0 out of 5 stars I must be the wrong audience. I thought it was really lame.
I think if you are in High School and involved in the Drama department, you would love this book.

I am a middle aged adult and thought it was really lame. Read more
Published on October 31, 2012 by Christopher Ohlgren
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