How to Be a Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook, Fourth Edition [Paperback]

Stuart M. Matlins (Editor), Arthur J. Magida (Editor)

Book Description

Series: Perfect Stranger | Publication Date: February 2006

We North Americans live in a remarkably diverse society, and it's increasingly common to be invited to a wedding, funeral or other religious service of a friend, relative or coworker whose faith is different from our own. These can be awkward situations....

What will happen?
What do I do?
What do I wear?
What do I say?
What should I avoid doing, wearing, saying?
Is it okay to use a video camera?
How long will it last?
What are their basic beliefs?
Will there be a reception?
Will there be food?
Should I bring a gift?
When is it okay to leave?

These are just a few of the basic questions answered in How to Be a Perfect Stranger. This easy-to-read guidebook, now with an "Everything You Need to Know Before You Go" checklist, helps the well-meaning guest to feel comfortable, participate to the fullest extent possible, and avoid violating anyone’s religious principles--while enriching their own spiritual understanding.

--This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

This easy-to-use fourth edition is updated and revised with the latest membership statistics on the various faith traditions, an expanded glossary of religious terms and an all new section on popular religious symbols. It also includes the "Everything You Need to Know Before You Go" checklist.

In today's diverse North American society we often are invited--through family, friends or business contacts--to religious ceremonies or services that are not of our own tradition or faith. Entering this unfamiliar atmosphere can be awkward....
What will happen?
What do I do?
What do I wear?
What do I say?
What should I avoid doing, wearing, saying?
What are their basic beliefs?
Should I bring a gift?
When is it okay to leave?

These are just a few of the basic, very practical questions answered in How to Be a Perfect Stranger. Based on information obtained directly from each of the religions and denominations, this indispensable handbook helps the well-meaning guest of any other faith to feel comfortable, participate to the fullest extent possible and avoid violating anyone's religious principles or hurting their feelings.

This book helps turn the "strange" into the less confusing (but not the ordinary). Most of all, it enables the invited "stranger" to truly appreciate the experience, and enrich their own spiritual understanding.

Product Details

• Paperback: 403 pages
• Publisher: Skylight Paths Publishing; 4 edition (February 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1594731403
• ISBN-13: 978-1594731402
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #352,179 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

34 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The essentials of religious etiquette for most faiths, May 6, 2003

By 

Harold McFarland (Florida) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: How to Be a Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook, 3rd Edition (Paperback)

"How to Be a Perfect Stranger" is the ultimate reference on how to act and what to expect when attending a religious service at any of the most common religions in America. Would you know what to do if a Hindu invited you to their infant's naming ceremony? What if a Christian Scientist family had a death in the family and you were invited to the funeral? Or what if you were invited to a Latter Day Saint, African American Methodist Episcopal, Lutheran, or Mennonite service, would you know the appropriate dress and order of service? All these questions and more are answered in this book.

The section on each faith has a short history of the faith, appropriate dress for service, ritual objects used in the service, parts of the sanctuary, appropriate conduct during the service, what to expect after the service, a section on dogma and ideology, celebrated holy days and festivals, various ceremonies related to the life cycle (births, marriage, initiation, funerals, mourning) and what to expect at those ceremonies. If you are seeking understanding of others of a different faith then this is an important place to start.

Faiths examined include African American Methodist Churches, Assemblies of God, Baha'i, Baptist, Buddhist, Christian Church, Christian Science, Churches of Christ, Episcopalian and Anglican, Hindu, Islam, Jehovah's Witness, Jewish, Lutheran, Mennonite/Amish, Methodist, Mormon (Latter Day Saints), Native American/First Nations, Orthodox Churches, Pentecostal Church of God, Presbyterian, Quaker (Religious Society of Friends), Reformed Church in America/Canada, Roman Catholic, Seventh-day Adventist, Sikh, Unitarian Universalist, United Church of Canada, and United Church of Christ.

Filled with clear information that will allow anyone to feel perfectly comfortable visiting any one of these faiths whether for curiosity, courtesy, or whatever reason, it is a very highly recommended read that should be on the shelf of anyone sensitive to the faiths of others.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A 'How-To' Guide For Visiting Services Among The World's Religions, October 4, 2005

By 

Notnadia (Currently upstairs.) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Be a Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook, 3rd Edition (Paperback)

Not only is this an invaluable reference book that provides reassuring guidance on how to act, what to wear, what to expect from the liturgical services of virtually all world religions, it also gives a concise, handy detailing of exactly what each of the religions believes in, teaches, and how and when it got its start. Handy for when you're about to attend a wedding or other life-cycle event within a faith with which you're unfamiliar, or if you're simply going to be a guest at a religion's worship service. A well-written, informative study done in plain, everyday language.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Etiquette for the way we need to be in the 21st century, March 29, 2007

By 

T. Stephenson "I love Mozart" (PA) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: How to Be a Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook, Fourth Edition (Paperback)

Very useful reference to be used over and over as our world becomes smaller. It just isn't sensitive to assume that other people's religious practices are the same as your own. This book helps you to understand what to do when you come into contact with the diversity of religions and cultures that mark postmodern society.