Customer Reviews

How to Be a Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook, 3rd Edition

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"How to Be a Perfect Stranger" is the ultimate reference on how to act and what to expect when attending a religious service at any of the most common religions in America. Would you know what to do if a Hindu invited you to their infant's naming ceremony? What if a Christian Scientist family had a death in the family and you were invited to the funeral? Or what if you were invited to a Latter Day Saint, African American Methodist Episcopal, Lutheran, or Mennonite service, would you know the appropriate dress and order of service? All these questions and more are answered in this book.

The section on each faith has a short history of the faith, appropriate dress for service, ritual objects used in the service, parts of the sanctuary, appropriate conduct during the service, what to expect after the service, a section on dogma and ideology, celebrated holy days and festivals, various ceremonies related to the life cycle (births, marriage, initiation, funerals, mourning) and what to expect at those ceremonies. If you are seeking understanding of others of a different faith then this is an important place to start.

Faiths examined include African American Methodist Churches, Assemblies of God, Baha'i, Baptist, Buddhist, Christian Church, Christian Science, Churches of Christ, Episcopalian and Anglican, Hindu, Islam, Jehovah's Witness, Jewish, Lutheran, Mennonite/Amish, Methodist, Mormon (Latter Day Saints), Native American/First Nations, Orthodox Churches, Pentecostal Church of God, Presbyterian, Quaker (Religious Society of Friends), Reformed Church in America/Canada, Roman Catholic, Seventh-day Adventist, Sikh, Unitarian Universalist, United Church of Canada, and United Church of Christ.

Filled with clear information that will allow anyone to feel perfectly comfortable visiting any one of these faiths whether for curiosity, courtesy, or whatever reason, it is a very highly recommended read that should be on the shelf of anyone sensitive to the faiths of others.

Not only is this an invaluable reference book that provides reassuring guidance on how to act, what to wear, what to expect from the liturgical services of virtually all world religions, it also gives a concise, handy detailing of exactly what each of the religions believes in, teaches, and how and when it got its start. Handy for when you're about to attend a wedding or other life-cycle event within a faith with which you're unfamiliar, or if you're simply going to be a guest at a religion's worship service. A well-written, informative study done in plain, everyday language.

Very useful reference to be used over and over as our world becomes smaller. It just isn't sensitive to assume that other people's religious practices are the same as your own. This book helps you to understand what to do when you come into contact with the diversity of religions and cultures that mark postmodern society.

Deftly edited by Stuart M. Matlins and Arthur J. Magida, How To Be A Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook is an outstanding compendium and documentation of what is ultimately the religions of the world. Inclusive of a great detailing of the African American Methodist Churches, Assemblies of God, Bahai, Baptist, Buddhist, Christian Church, Christian Science, Churches of Christ, Episcopalian and Anglican, Hindu, Islam, Jehovah's Witnesses, Jewish, Lutheran, Mennonite/Amish, Methodist, Mormon, Native American/First Nations, Orthodox Churches, Penticostal Church of God, Presbyterian, Quaker, Reformed Church in America/Canada, Roman Catholic, Seventh-day Adventist, Sikh, Unitarian Universalist, United Church of Canada, and the United Church of Christ, How To Be A Perfect Stranger acts as a reference and well researched guide to a significant understanding of many of today's religions and their progression from historical backgrounds. How To Be A Perfect Stranger is very strongly recommended to all students of religion, those searching for a religion which may righteously favor their beliefs, or those merely seeking a greater understanding of societal religious perspectives.

A neighbor invites you to a Seder; what should you bring? Your Hindi coworkers are getting married; what's an appropriate wedding present? You're visiting a new church with family; how much should you put in the offering plate? The mosque in your neighborhood is having an open house during Ramadan; is it OK to wear a crucifix?

All these mundane issues related with being a polite and gracious visitor in other people's homes and places of worship are covered in this handy reference book. When my son was very young, my husband and I agreed he could visit any church he liked, as long as I accomanied him. I got this book so that, no matter what kind of church we attend, we are always respectful of the worshippers there. It turned out to be useful for more than that, though, because they do not just explain the standard worship services. Customs for birth initiations (infant baptisms, naming ritutals), coming of age initiations (bar mitzvahs and adult baptism), weddings, funerals, and interments are all presented to help a visitor understand his hosts better.

Various Christian denominations and non-Christian faiths are presented, along with the basic tenets of their faiths (this is NOT intended to be a primer on theology, just a heads-up on what to expect), proper dress code for any kind of service, and an understanding of what constitutes polite in various religions. The authors are sensitive both to the guests and the hosts in their descriptions of everything from marriage customs and wedding ceremonies to whether or not a woman's hem needs to fall below her knees. Concepts about why these customs exist are not presented, so there is no judgment even implied about what is an acceptable custom. It is never suggested that a visitor must do something that is against their religious beliefs. In fact, the authors go so far as to explain what foods may be served and whether or not wine is served at meals and communions so the visitor won't be breaking any of his own doctrinal rules.

This is not intended to be a book read from cover-to-cover, as it repeats itself often. However, it is good to at least skim ahead of time so you are prepared when meeting someone from a new (to you) faith. One note, this books is only interested in organized faiths that are generally opened to outsiders, have large-ish populations, and that have set times and places to meet. They also do not dwell on the differences between sects of Judaism and Islam. Again, they are not explaining the tenets of faith in depth, just the outward polite practices.

Excellent reference. I use it often. It is not religious. It is about learning to respect customs & etiquette for multi-ethnic understanding in social situations. I have referred to it for community fund raising, business meetings, scheduling meetings, how to do what when and what to wear to funerals, batisms, weddings, etc.