How to Be a Perfect Stranger: Volume 1: A Guide to Etiquette in Other People's Religious Ceremonies [Paperback]

Arthur J. Magida (Editor)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 1999

A straightforward guide to the rituals and celebrations of the major religions and denominations in the United States and Canada from the perspective of an interested guest of any other faith. The first in a two-volume set, the book is based on information obtained from authorities of each religion. It is not a guide to theology, nor is it presented from the perspective of any particular faith. These easy-to-use guidebooks help the well-meaning guest of any other faith to feel at ease, participate to the fullest extent possible, and avoid violating anyone's religious principles or hurting their feelings.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

When the first editions of these two uniquely valuable volumes were published in hardcover in 1996 and 1997, respectively, they were enthusiastically receivedAVolume 1 won the Benjamin Franklin Award for best reference book of 1996. Covering the basic history and beliefs of every major and minor religion in the United States, including primary religious texts, religious services, special services (such as weddings and funerals), and observed holidays, the volumes provided detailed information for the "stranger" on practical topics such as where to sit, how to behave, how to dress, how to address clergy, and where to write for further information. The two volumes (Volume 1 covers the larger denominations in the United States, while Volume 2 covers smaller denominations such as African American Methodist, Mennonite/Amish, and Native American faiths) have now been completely updated and expanded to include information on the Canadian branches of each faith as well. While libraries that purchased the original volumes may not feel a need to update after only a few years, those in or close to Canada and those that did not purchase the original volumes will want to consider this most worthwhile set. Highly recommended.AMarcia G. Welsh, Guilford Free Lib., CT
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Scientific American

At last: Help has arrived for the religiously challenged. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 435 pages
• Publisher: Skylight Paths Publishing; Rev Upd Su edition (March 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1893361012
• ISBN-13: 978-1893361010
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6.2 x 1.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,455,580 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book should be on the desk. . ., May 3, 2001

By 

David Zampino "21st Century Hobbit" (Delavan, Wisconsin) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: How to Be a Perfect Stranger: Volume 1: A Guide to Etiquette in Other People's Religious Ceremonies (Paperback)

. . .of every member of the clergy in America. (As well as on a lot of other desks and bookshelves).

In the America of the 21st century, all of us have friends, relatives, etc. who practice their faith in different manners. Most of us will have occasion to attend services in houses of worship other than our own. This book is a guide on proper behavior under these circumstances.

As a Christian clergyman, I have personally have had occasion to attend service in almost every major American Christian denomination, as well as Jewish temple services. Most members of the clergy that I know are in similar positions. All of us are passionate about our own faith -- but none of us want to be accidentally offensive to others.

Some might ask, "Why should I be concerned about how to behave at someone else's religious service? I never expect to go. They don't worship the way I do. They don't believe in the same God that I believe in, etc." For persons with these attitudes, here are some points to consider:

1) You may be surprised at the type of service you find yourself. A wedding. A funeral. A christening. A Bar-Mitzpah. The list goes on.

2) There are certain situations in which NOT attending can cause MORE offense.

3) Put yourself in the shoes of another. Would you want your Jewish or Muslim co-worker to support YOU if YOU lost a loved one?

4) Showing respect to another, WITHOUT compromising your own beliefs is an excellent way to share your own faith.

The list goes on.

This book does not suggest in any way that anyone compromise their own beliefs. It does not attempt to convert or sway anyone to a different way of thinking. What it DOES do, and does very well, is provide, to an increasingly discourteous society, the minimal rules of courtesy that persons today are no longer routinely taught.

Courtesy is the oil that lubricates all social interactions. This book helps provide this service.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars trying to be a respectful stranger, June 16, 2000

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: How to Be a Perfect Stranger: Volume 1: A Guide to Etiquette in Other People's Religious Ceremonies (Paperback)

I am purchasing this book after making use of it first as a library choice.It is a book I would suggest srongly to all age groups (8 to 80) for information which makes it possible to be respectful of relgious services other than the ones we ourselves know best and to do so in a relaxed and comfortable manner.

12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Welcome Gift for Our Times, August 2, 1998

By 

Gloria E. Salavarria ([e-mail]) (Middlebury, IN) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Be a Perfect Stranger: Volume 1: A Guide to Etiquette in Other People's Religious Ceremonies (Hardcover)

Children of my generation were taught to be polite but not to attend a church or temple outside our denomination. What a tragedy. For all our assumed good manners we missed opportunities to broaden our understanding and thus, our appreciation, of others. In a true exercise of good manners, this book is an open door, a welcome gift, to come and appreciate the variety of worship there is today.