If not for Amazon Vine, this is not a book I would have picked up on my own. I've been married for more than a decade now (wow, really?) and being a mom for life is far more engrossing and all-encompassing than being a bride for a day. Apologies to the newly engaged for the news, but it's true. If you are planning a wedding, enjoy it being all about you this once, because that will NEVER again happen after your hear the doctor say, "here comes the head." In fact, you'll probably never use the bathroom again on your own, but that's a gruesome tale for another book ...
I did not have a dream wedding. I did not even have a mediocre wedding. I had a nightmare wedding, done on a dime (almost literally) and filled with dysfunctional family and their drunken mishaps that ended with my husband and I scraping together money for the limo we didn't want, but my father insisted on giving us as a "gift," then neglected to actually pay for. Our "big day" ended up with us ripping open wedding cards while the guy, who took only cash, watched and waited impatiently. Not exactly brunch a the Plaza.
But even my friends who had "ideal" weddings later tend to regret, or at least question, the time and money (and, unlike in this story, it's usually theirs, not their parent's) spent on a single day. A day that you plan for upwards of a year and, even if nothing at all goes wrong, is over so swiftly no one has time to enjoy, or even experience, all those little details you agonized over. (I will say that the honeymoon ... Now that's worth blowing a bundle on. Memorable, private and altogether incredible if you do it right. Whenever I see brides bust the budget on the wedding and skip, or really skimp, on the honeymoon, I always shake my head. THAT is the week, or two weeks, you'll remember, not the three or four hours that pass in a blur surrounded my so many people you'll never recall all of them.)
That said, I remain a hopeless romantic on many levels, so I didn't hate this soft focus look at wedding planning. It was sweet and cutely written, with alternating mother-daughter memories ... But, that's also kind of the problem: it was way TOO cute and contained basically zero real problems and solutions that wouldn't occur to you only if you lack any form of common sense. (Does anyone need a book to tell them they can save money by using fewer flowers? Or that you should spend more on the items you care about?)
The bride is beautiful, her relationship with her mother eye-rollingly ideal, her bridegroom the picture of understanding, not to mention a dreamy Prince Charming (in looks AND manners), money is abundant and provided gleefully by the bride's parents, in-laws are adoring, debt is nonexistent and, for the most part, discord is of the, "I love you more," "NO, I love YOU more," variety. It's all just too, too perfect to believe ... Or learn anything from. Unless your last name is "Cleaver," and you live in a sitcom, your family is NOT this harmonious, and never will be.
I think my biggest issue is that brides-to-be reading this story could end up more demoralized than inspired, because the truth is this young, just-starting-out couple, budget or not, had a VERY lavish wedding that I'm sure very few people buying this book in hopes of money-saving hints will be able to match. Seriously, this girl's proposal was probably nicer, and more lavish (with a larger budget), than many people's wedding ceremonies. And, while I think that's great for her and don't mind hearing all about it, it's not exactly a helpful hint for someone looking to walk down the aisle. If your fiancee didn't decorate your house with rose petals, video tape his proposal and then whisk you away for a weekend in a four-star hotel, it doesn't mean your wedding--or marriage--is doomed. Those types of experiences are the exception, not the norm.
I sincerely hope this very cute and sweet young couple go the distance, but think it's important to remember that how their lives, and marriage, turn out, will have very little to do with their beautiful day and everything to do with what comes every day afterwards. And, while this book says that, more or less, at least once every chapter, it really is consumed with the hullabaloo of a wedding, and not the lifetime of a marriage.
As an old married lady who once anguished about her own aborted fairy tale day, I can attest that, 15 years later, the "big day" just doesn't seem that important anymore (what was I so upset about again?) ... It has been replaced by lots more, far less frilly, but much more fabulous, moments with my husband.
