How Rude!: The Teenagers' Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out [Paperback]

Alex J. Packer (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1997

Here's an etiquette book that teens will want to read—because it keeps them laughing, doesn't preach, and deals with issues that matter to them, as teens themselves reported in a nationwide survey.

In How Rude!, author Alex J. Packer blends outrageous humor with sound advice as he guides readers through the mysterious world of manners from A ("Applause") to Z ("Zits").

He starts by explaining why etiquette is important—because people who know how to handle themselves in social situations come out on top, get what they want, feel good about themselves, and enjoy life to the fullest. Fourteen chapters describe the basics of polite behavior in all kinds of situations at home, in school, and in the world.

Teens learn how to be a host with the most (and a guest with the best), what to do (and not do) when going online or waiting in line, how to deal with rude relatives, how to act at the mall and the concert hall, how to make introductions, who invented manners, and much more. Hundreds of "Dear Alex" questions and answers cover everything from dating to breaking up, thank-you notes to table manners, ethnic jokes to social cliques, skateboarding to celebrating. Survey results reveal what teens, parents, and teachers think about manners and why they're important.

Full of practical tips for every occasion, How Rude! is a serious etiquette encyclopedia—and a hilarious read.

Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Grade 6 Up?From its intriguing title to the tongue-in-cheek ideas for dealing with many kinds of situations, teenagers will find this manual humorous, nonthreatening, entertaining, and educational. The narrative is light and lively, and the advice is realistic and practical. The situations covered in the question-and-answer format far exceed those found in standard etiquette books, with section headings such as "Sex-Ediquette" (realistic rules for relationships with the opposite sex), Toiletiquette, (polite bathroom-sharing), and Netiquette (cyberspace behavior codes). The correct way to answer an invitation, which fork to use at a formal dinner, and all of the standard protocols for life in what once was called a "proper" environment are included. Yet there are many scenarios, from sexual situations to in-line skating, that will be relevant to today's teenagers, and questions that many would not be able to ask an adult, yet for which they urgently need answers. They will certainly find guidance here. Charts listing options for correct or incorrect behavior with probable outcomes appear throughout, as are anecdotal snippets entitled "True Stories from the Manners Frontier." Survey results that show what teens think and then what parents and teachers think about the same issues are presented. This volume should be considered ahead of any traditional etiquette book for YAs. They will return to it again and again as they face new and different situations.?Marilyn Fairbanks, East Junior High School, Brockton,
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

Gr. 6^-12. Although manners aren't high on any teen's list of things to read about, this volume not only uses humor to make the subject palatable but also makes good sense in terms of most young people's everyday lives. Whether the topic is rude noises, table manners, or squabbles over the TV remote, Packer has a word or two to say, managing to get the point across without scolding or haranguing. He also has some advice on a few issues not usually covered in books on manners--like in-line skating, computer hacking, and "sex ediquette" (it's "beyond rude" to give someone HIV, get someone pregnant, or ignore the word "No"). The text is nicely broken up by cartoons, boldface headings, goofy chapter quizzes, and survey results (no background on how these were obtained is given), but the book is still a formidable 400 pages. For reference, however, it's first rate: teens can turn to it when they have a specific problem (both the index and the table of contents are good) or use it as an adjunct to the study of human relationships or contemporary culture. Stephanie Zvirin

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 472 pages
• Publisher: Free Spirit Publishing; 1 edition (September 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1575420244
• ISBN-13: 978-1575420240
• Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 1.3 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.7 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (57 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #34,850 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Alex J. Packer, Ph.D., is an educator, psychologist, screenwriter, and author of several books including How Rude!™, Bringing Up Parents, and Highs! He is president and CEO of FCD Educational Services, Inc., a Boston-based provider of drug education programs for schools and colleges worldwide.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

78 of 78 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Why good manners makes your life easier, not more difficult. August 9, 1999

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

Question: What teenager would be interested in reading a 465 page book on manners? Answer: Just about any one who is holding a copy of "How Rude!"

I'm so delighted by this book. I'm a father of four, and as I read "How Rude" I asked myself, "What is it that makes this book so effective?" Perhaps it's the simple practicality of its message. The main point is that it's in your own best interests to use good manners. One of the places it says this is on page 109: "Adjust your requests and behavior to the emotions and needs of others. This is not only a cornerstone of politeness, but also a way to increase the chances that your requests will be granted."

Perhaps it works so well because it concerns the things teenagers obsess about, such as how to be popular, how to get your parents let you do what you want, what to do about braces, how to handle friendship problems, and how to get a date. It even talks about when it is OK not to use good manners. The section headings reflect the fascination youth of all ages have: "Things you do to your body" and "Things your body does to you" and "The blended, shaken, stirred or mixed family, " and "Sex-ediquette."

Maybe what makes this book work so well for kids is Packer's dead-on humor, with just the right amount of grossness so that you can't quite turn away. It's a fast-paced kaleidoscope of quips, anecdotes, lists, jokes, and chummy advice. There's no way to lose interest, because it's so juicy and fun. I challenge anyone to open the book to any page and not find some undeniably useful tidbits.

It's a great book for teens, of course, but it's also a great book for parents who are looking for ways of talking about manners with their kids.

141 of 150 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars be aware August 22, 2003

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

I bought this book for my 12 year old son. I found the majority of the book acceptable, entertaining and informative . However the book also had sections geared towards older teens (I assume). I was surprised to find information regarding who should bring the condom on the date and other sexual issues. The book states that wether or not teens should be sexually active is not a topic of this book but if you are sexually active it is beyond rude to....and goes on to list a number of sexual situations.
I was hoping to share this book with my son as I think he could benefit from it. However, I'll be putting it aside until I feel we have discussed some of the sexual issues addressed by the book and he is mature enough to handle it.It's too bad because I think he'd be more likely to want the other information now while he is excited about starting junior high and wanting to be treated as an adult.I

25 of 25 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great! Perfectly enjoyable for teens! November 2, 2001

By A Customer

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Wonderful! Very witty, quite clever, and presents etiquette in a non-threatening, humorous, but also very honest way. While some might challenge the author for saying things like "good manners will get other people to more willingly give you things", the truth of the matter is that it *is* true, and youth wil be more prone to listen to the advice if they realize that they will benefit materially (the restaurant manager will be willing to let you stay at the table a little longer and provide better service), not just abstractly (you'll earn the admiration of the elderly people in your church). The appreciation for the abstract awards will come when they hit college, assuming they can be convinced to follow etiquette before they go to college.

If only all teens (and adults) would read this and relaize that eating iwth your open is rude, gross, annoying, and unecessary, we'd be a much better world.

All teens should have a class/course/book on ettiquette, and of the books I have read (admiteedly nowhere near as many as are out there), this one is my favorite so far for depth of information, and presentation of it. Many good pictures, and a pretty straightforward and logical format. I also very much appreciate that throughout the book are some real-world etiquette questions that youth have asked, about addressing friend's step-parents, how to go on a date, saying thnk you for gifts, dealing with problems in school and at home in a civil and gentlemanly/ladylike way, and even some sexual situations (how to say no, how to talk openly, how to respect one another...). Teens will definitely appreciate that the book isn't working only in the abstract, but has many eamples of real-world problems. Problems that never fit nicely into any one category, either, which is where pretty much every real world problem exists. That's why we have etiquette!

I suggest this book for all teenagers.