How to Ruin Your Love Life [Hardcover]

Ben Stein (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 1, 2003

Ben Stein brings you 35 easy-to-follow steps to destroy your love life. The essays in this humorous book include "Always remember You Come First in Every Relationship" and "No matter How Many Problems Your Lover Has, Marry Him or Her Anyway". This book should make you laugh out loud as well as give you the chance to honestly assess how many of these relationship-killers you (and your lover) are currently engaged in. Learn from this book and do the opposite right now.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Ben Stein, a nationally renowned "Renaissance man," was host of the long-running quiz show Win Ben Stein’s Money and is currently a judge on Star Search. He is a former White House speechwriter, Wall Street Journal columnist, trial lawyer, law school professor, scriptwriter, and novelist—and author of several self-help books; including How to Ruin Your Life. He has seen the biggest (Richard Nixon) and the most famous (many Hollywood stars) ruin their lives. He has also seen how some seemingly ordinary people made something great of their lives—by doing the opposite of what he sees as ruinous acts and modes of thought. He resides in Los Angeles, California, with his wife and son.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 112 pages
• Publisher: Hay House; First Edition edition (August 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1401902405
• ISBN-13: 978-1401902407
• Product Dimensions: 7.6 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.3 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,231,841 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Ben Stein (Los Angeles, CA) is a respected economist who is known to many as a movie and television personality, but has worked more in personal and corporate finance than anywhere else. He has written about finance for Barron's, the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, and Fortune; was one of the chief busters of the junk-bond frauds of the 1980s; has been a longtime critic of corporate executives' self-dealing; and has cowritten eight finance books. Stein travels the country speaking about finance in both serious and humorous ways, and is a regular contributor to CBS's Sunday Morning, CNN, and Fox News. He was the 2009 winner of the Malcolm Forbes Award for Excellence in Financial Journalism.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Opposites Make it More Apparent, December 11, 2003

By 

Rebecca Johnson "The Rebecca Review" (Washington State) - See all my reviews
(COMMUNITY FORUM 04)    (TOP 50 REVIEWER)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: How to Ruin Your Love Life (Hardcover)

"Carve it in stone: Love Relationships Aren't Partnerships - They're Master-Servant Relationships, and You Are the Master (or Mistress)." ~pg. 21

Ben Stein's writing style is highly entertaining. I had just taken a sip of tea when I happened upon page 21 and I almost couldn't swallow my tea. I then realized it was probably best not to eat or drink anything while reading this book. It is way too funny.

Not only did I spend last night laughing loudly enough to wake up my husband a few times, I realized Ben Stein should have put a warning in this book: "So funny, don't read in the middle of the night as you might wake the neighbors."

Ben's theory seems to include "opposite therapy." This is not like any other relationship book you will ever read. You know those other books with the "to do" lists. While reading "How to Ruin Your Love Life" there were some moments of "stunning truth." I'd never really thought about people who were successful being the types of people who overcome their compulsions. This was a moment of truth for me.

In 116 pages, you will encounter almost every "relationship mistake" you could ever think of. All in glowing detail. First, we find the two main rules that will lead you to loneliness and despair and they are:

1. You are better than anyone else.
2. Never forgive and never forget.

Well, those seem easy enough to remember.

Throughout this book, Ben Stein gives 44 rules that are guaranteed to ruin your love life. Everything from never telling your lover you love them to never being grateful for the gifts you get.

"Why should you utter those three insignificant words? Don't you have any short-term memory? I just told you a few pages back that love was a junior high school game. Why didn't you believe me? What that meant was that although your lover is expected to constantly tell you that she loves you, you never have to reply in kind. Make her pant for it. Make her beg (similar to stingily doling out affection)! Make her yearn desperately for even a hint of "I love you." .....Repeat after me: Love is a junior high school game if you really want to do it well (and cruelly). So spare those three little words ... and spoil the relationship." ~pg. 52

If you have ever met someone who did this to you, you've probably spent a lot of time crying and if you then went on to meet someone who gave you love even before you asked, then you have known some measure of true happiness.

Throughout this book, you will encounter a variety of "relationship-killers." Not saying "I Love You" can kill a relationship faster than anything I've ever seen. It is deadly. I must still have a sense of humor because I still laughed.

Then, there is the "never admit that you're wrong or apologize in any dispute" rule.

While each chapter is filled with wry wit, the endings of some of the chapters are especially good. Some of the endings lead to the next chapter and the ideas tie together in amusing ways. Like:

"Now, back to driving your lover crazy instead of driving yourself crazy..." or "Well, I'm so glad you brought that up. Because the truth is..."

This book could save your relationship from certain doom. I myself found a variety of ideas very useful. At times I think we don't realize how others see us and it can be quite enlightening to read a book that is ingeniously candid. Whatever you do, do the opposite of what he tells you! That is key.

If you enjoy this book, look for "How to Ruin Your Life" by Ben Stein.

~The Rebecca Review

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I laughed out loud, not once but throughout the book!, February 26, 2004

By 

Blaine Greenfield "eclectic reader" (Belle Meade, NJ) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: How to Ruin Your Love Life (Hardcover)

I laughed out loud, not once but virtually throughout the book, when
reading Ben Stein's HOW TO RUIN YOUR LOVE LIFE . . . he presents 44 easy-to-follow steps that will absolutely
do just what it promises.

Each step is presented in a short, hysterical essay with such
telling titles as "Talk About Yourself Exclusively," "Make Fun of
Your Lover's Family," "Demand Expensive Gifts From Your Lover,"
and "Compare Your Lover With Lovers You've Dated in the Past" . . . then

there's arguably the most important one of them all: "If You're
Dating Someone Who Has a Lot of Problems, Is Generally a Mess,
All of Your friends Dislike Him or Her, Get Married Anyway--Marriage
Will Solve All of Your Problems."

I'm not so sure that last statement is true, but I do know that I
have learned from this book--and pledge to start doing the opposite
as I type . . . also, in thinking about all the useful advice that
Stein has provided, my only regret is that I did not have access
to this material much earlier in my life!

For example, I now know that the following are not exactly what
might be considered to be good things to do:

* Let's face it: It's really boring to listen to other people's problems. But
for other people to hear your problems, now that's truly fascinating.
Why is there a difference? Because your problems are about you, and
that makes them far more interesting than what anybody else has to
say.

* You can be confident that your lover will be happy to be frequently told
how she can perfect her appearance. People like to be reminded of
their flaws--especially by their lovers. And don't forget to pinch her
upper arm or her thigh every once in a while to remind her that she's
go extra fat in those areas--everyone loves that!

* So say anything you like-no matter how hurtful--and when your lover
says, "That's a bit rude, isn't it?" respond with an outraged look and a
haughty reply, such as: "Oh, I guess I'm not allowed to say anything
at all, right? From now on, I'll just talk to my cat. She lets me say
anything I want and doesn't jump down my throat."

Or else, say something really cutting, maybe about his mother or father,
and then when he looks shocked, say, "I'm just trying to have a healthy
relationship by expressing my feelings. But I guess that's not allowed.
What am I supposed to do-keep it all bottled up inside me forever?! I
don't think that would be healthy for either of us, do you?"

The beauty of this is that your lover really can't provide an adequate
response to your "logic." What's he going to say--"No, you're not
allowed to express your feelings?" Of course not.

So, feel free to say or even do anything you want, and know you can
get away with it. Why? Well, shucks, you're just expressing your feelings.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A Nice Heavy Dose of Sarcasm, April 2, 2004

By 

Chris Frost (Ingalls, IN United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: How to Ruin Your Love Life (Hardcover)

This book, while a quick read, was quite enjoyable. Taking the opposite approach from the other books that tell you what to do to maintain a healthy loving relationship, Ben goes through all of the most common things that people do to ruin a relationship, or even to keep out of a relationship at all. Everybody should be able to relate to this book in some way. I know I've been guilty of some of these behaviors, and I've certainly been a victim of some of them, too. If you want to learn a little more about how good relationships work without getting bogged down by some tedious psycho-babble nonsense, Ben's book is a very entertaining way to go about it. He even manages to squeeze in a nice little plug for Jimmy Kimmel.