Customer Reviews

How to Save Your Marriage Alone

5 star:		(23)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

First off I'd like to briefly touch on a few basic ways to approach this book. One, that the author is taking a Biblical approach to saving a marriage. As is the case with much of the Bible's content it is open to interpretation. I doubt all readers who believe in what the Bible has to offer will agree on every conclusion Dr. Wheat has reached. Still the reader should be prepared for the Biblical content in this book and the fact that Dr. Wheat bases his approach to saving a marriage on his understanding of God's word. I find it odd that so many reviewers complain about this? In my opinion that is like complaining that a cookbook published by P.E.T.A. has no meat dishes??? Even if a reader doesn't share Dr. Wheat's beliefs and totally does not accept what the Bible has to offer I hope the reader can at least recognize that this book is based just those things and accept it as the author's prerogative.

Second, this book will most likely be read by those going through a divorce or those connected to someone who is in the process of a divorce. This is a self help book and I doubt many who are not experiencing the pains of a divorce will seek it out. So, in my opinion, many who read this book will be seeking a certain outcome and are emotionally connected to the results. Unfortunately the process to obtaining a result and the result itself may not emotionally or practically agree with the reader. I would encourage all readers to try and set their opinions and emotions aside while reading it. Then compare what Dr. Wheat has to say with his/her own notions once completed and see what parts can be adapted into his/her life. I guess I'm trying to say that readers should be wary of knee jerk reactions.

Like most who read this book I found myself in a broken marriage and wanted to heal it. I liked the fact that this book was short and direct. I read it multiple times. Originally I thought there might be some guarantee from God that my marriage was salvageable. Although that was, as I look at it now, a real pipe dream. In fact I fall into one of the two categories listed by Dr. Wheat as unsalvageable. In my case my wife had taken a lover and totally given herself over to him. For about three months I prayed, read scripture, read this book, and conducted other research trying to find someway to save my marriage. Over this three month period, in accordance with Dr. Wheat's writings, I began to examine my own part in my marital break up. While I still don't believe I am the cause of my pending divorce I do accept my part in many of our marital problems. For me that is the real benefit about the book, it encourages the reader to quit trying to figure their partner out and instead to focus on what they did to contribute to the marital problems and how to ask forgiveness from God and their spouse if given the opportunity.

What I write next may not make sense to those who don't have a relationship with God but it will hopefully make sense to some. When I began reading this book I had hoped to restore my relationship with my wife. This book along with the Bible itself helped me realize that on my wedding day I made a commitment to not only my wife but to God. While my marriage has not been reconciled I do think my relationship with God has been. Marriages break up for many reasons but all the many reasons have a root problem and that is a failure by one or both spouses to remember his/her commitment to God and to seek him first. Dr. Wheat attempts to make this clear but I think the point gets lost in some of his examples. The problem that gets the most attention is that of a spouse becoming an apparent door mat for the cheating spouse. I'll admit that his examples are hard to get past. However, I think the point he's trying to make is that a spouse, no matter if still living in the same home or separated from his/her spouse, can learn to set aside his/her hurt, pain, needs, and wants by focusing on the Lord. Easier said than done, however if a person is able to he/she will find themselves in a better place, one with his/her goals and expectations redefined. For some a complete reconciliation with a spouse, and for others a peace about moving on. Dr. Wheat clearly thinks too many people abandon their marriages without putting in real effort towards reconciliation.

Also, this book does not boast a lot of statistics and figures. It appears to be all anecdotal with no actual detailed studies or comparisons. I was some what put off by this and skeptical. Over time I came to the conclusion that the author was not trying to give us hope by providing a success ratio or percentage guidelines. He is trying to tell the reader that direction, hope and peace can come from God. You can't attach statistics to those types of results.

This review may seem to be a little too much about me and not enough about the book. I agree but after all it is a self help book. How are we to truly critique a self help book other than to tell how it did or did not help us? Like I mentioned earlier, this is a book aimed not only at saving marriages but at improving relationships with God. Please be aware of that before reading.

I read this book after seeing two counselors who only wanted to prepare me for life after divorce. They were not interested in saving my marriage. This spiritual approach to saving marriages probably saved my life. I had hope for the first time in many months. While we are not divorced, my husband has not entered into a reconciliation with me. However, as a result of this book, I learned some practical, biblical actions I could take to have chance at saving my marriage. Eighteen months later, he is still here with our children. I pray for the restoration of my marriage. This book (and the bible)are my best chances of that happening.

Several years ago when my husband said that he wanted a divorce, this book and another book by Wheat, "Love Life" fell into my hands. Reading this book changed my life and my marriage was saved. We are living a happily-ever-after story thanks to God and this book.

This book was the most helpful book that I read in the midst of my marriage's lowest point...although my husband wasn't seeking a divorce, but wanted to work out some major problems from our past, this book gave insight on how to hang in there in tough times. Being a born-again beliver, and believing the marriage is a sacred covenant between spouse and God, this book was right on target.....I would highly reccommend this book to anyone experiencing difficulty in reconcilliation in a marriage....you don't even need to be going through the exact situation to appriciate the insight that this book gives. My husband and I now experience a love and a marriage like never before!

This is BY FAR the most amazing little book, and the author, Ed Wheat, though now deceased, was truly an annointed man of God.

My husband left me out of the blue, and as far as I could see, for no apparent reason. I followed the advice in this book down to the last detail, and my husband and I are more happily married today than we ever were before. I went through times of discouragement, depression, and hopelessness. However, I read this book and gave my marriage to the Lord. Now I know that the Lord had to allow me to go through what was an enormously difficult time in my life, because it was the only thing that was going to change me.

If you are discouraged and feel that there is no hope, even if your husband is having an affair, please DO NOT give up. The Lord CAN restore your marriage, heal you, and bring you to a place where you have more love and trust than you ever imagined possible. Aloha and God Bless you!

This book is two chapters from his other book "Love life for Married Couples." It was a great motivation to hang in there when things get tough. I bought the other book, too, and it is excellent. I was ready to give up, but I was motivated by reading to hang in there. It doesn't suggest being trampled on forever. But, by showing patience and kindness, you can open the spirit of your mate who wants to leave. Then, you can work out your problems once you can get your mate to WANT to work things out. This is a good start for people who feel that there is no hope and that trying to save their marriage is a lost cause. A better title would be "How to begin the process of saving your marriage alone and pursuade your mate to join you"

Although the book referenced the topic of infidelity for nearly the entire book, the author did give you hope and some very good ideas that are working to save my 25 year marriage. In my case, there was no infidelity on either of our parts. Just a whole slew of damaged feelings and carelessness on my part. Well, the amortized cost is now being paid for by me. Take this book and read it. it is a very fast read. He gives you ideas that are proving very very helpful. Yes, you will read much about infidelity and, yes this may not be your challenge. Just like it was not mine, but, the ideas work for all relationships that have melted down. this booklet will give you hope and help the anxieties and will help you cope with the pain

As a Born-Again Baptist Christian in the midst of a divorce, I found solace in how scripturaly based this book is. Dr. Wheat gives the reader God's answers for marriages in trouble or at the brink of divorce. The book is an easy read (read it in one night and will re-read soon), inspirational and uplifting-it gives those of us trying to salvage our broken marital relationships hope in God's faithfulness to the believer. It's good to know that God has a disdain for divorce.

I purchased this "little" book about three weeks ago and I can not put it down. I have lost count of the times that I have read and re-read it's pages. It is not a very long book but it is jammed full of information! Each time I read it, something new and inspriring pops out at me! If you are looking for a "Help me!" book that is faith based, buy it!

Biblically sound advice. This is a chapter out of the book " Love Life for Every Married Couple." "Love Life" describes in more detail the method to have a loving, committed marriage. Definitely worth buying.