How To Say It for Couples [Paperback]

Dr. Paul Coleman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 2002

Couples, whether married or unmarried, complicate their relationship when they don't know how to communicate effectively. The wrong word or phrase can transform a mild disagreement into a stubborn standoff. Couples then have two problems-the original one and the bad feelings that erupt from mishandling the discussion. Unresolved, these bad feelings can spark future arguments-arguments that never need happen.But it doesn't have to be that way, and through its unique way of presenting conversation do's and don'ts, this book can help even the least gracious talker handle these (and other equally hazardous subjects) with grace.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

sychologist and family therapist Coleman (How to Say It to Your Kids) imparts practical wisdom on a most elusive pursuit: finding the right words. He suggests both general approaches and specific words and phrases concerning numerous potential conflicts, from child-rearing, commitment issues and "How to Playfully and Lovingly Turn Down Sex" to disparate intensities in career ambitions and difficult in-laws. With a glass-half-full approach (e.g., shy people marry later than outgoing people, which increases the chance of successful marriage) designed to help people accept their partners as they are and learn to compromise, this clear, well-organized, reassuring book will benefit many couples.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Two veteran family therapists have each written an excellent book on communication between partners. The author of I Don't Want To Talk About It, Real analyzes the reasons why men and women don't speak the same emotional language: boys' emotional relationships are squelched early on by peers, siblings, and fathers, whereas women learn to accommodate. Written with couples' therapy dramatizations, Real's book demonstrates his five relational skills: how to hold the relationship in regard, how to speak, how to listen, how to negotiate, and how to stay on course. Real, who is often called upon to arbitrate between couples as a last resort, is excellent at showing how couples can uncover hidden issues from the past and begin healing. The author of How To SayR It to Your Kids, Coleman takes a workbook approach to marriage therapy. He opens with six questions to which the couple must answer "happy" or "unhappy." He then explains his GIFTS technique in conversations: be Gentle, fix arguments with In-flight repairs, Find hidden concerns, use Teamwork, and reassure with Supportive comments. Each chapter begins with a scenario and continues with short tips under the "Have you heard?" heading, followed by "How to say it" and "How not to say it" and ending with "How to say it to yourself." Since chapter layouts are the same, the reader can easily pick out a problem area and read the two- to three-page chapter. Some topics include encouraging more conversation, rigid vs. flexible personalities, pregnancy, and cybersex. As popular marriage therapy manuals, these books are both suitable for public libraries and medical collections. The Coleman title is easier to use for a quick "fix," but Real's theories about men and women and how to take care of a marriage, though challenging, may prove more fruitful. Lisa Wise, Broome Cty. P.L., Binghamton, NY
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 400 pages
• Publisher: Prentice Hall Press (January 1, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0735202613
• ISBN-13: 978-0735202610
• Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 1.1 x 9.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.7 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #613,575 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars fantastic ********** A book for anyone in a relationship, December 26, 2002

By 

Tami .E (new york) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How To Say It for Couples (Paperback)

How to say it for couples is a great book for anyone in a relationship. It is an honest and realistic way to help you and your partner deal with everyday questions and feelings.It also deals with difficult challenges in a relationship in a warm and sensitive way. This book will help you and your partner to understand how each other feels,When you read DR.Colemans book he makes you feel like the book was written specifically for you and you partner.I highly recommend this book to anyone in love.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars I love this book, October 15, 2002

By 

Jun Ma (Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How To Say It for Couples (Paperback)

I think this book is very useful for improving love between a couple.I love it very much, since I have a good boyfriend and I would like to improve our love and have a happy ending.I always read this book which enlighten my mind.