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How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders Paperback – September 7, 2004


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How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders + Coping With Your Difficult Older Parent : A Guide for Stressed-Out Children + How to Care for Aging Parents, 3rd Edition: A One-Stop Resource for All Your Medical, Financial, Housing, and Emotional Issues
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Prentice Hall Press; Fourth Printing edition (September 7, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0735203806
  • ISBN-13: 978-0735203808
  • Product Dimensions: 7.4 x 0.5 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (73 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #34,521 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

David Solie, MS., PA., is an expert in geriatric psychology, and the CEO and Medical Director of Second Opinion, a life insurance brokerage corporation.

Customer Reviews

An easy to read book with a very powerful message.
Sharon L. Franzen
It's shocking that this book is being marketed merely to professionals who must deal with the vagaries of the senior personality.
Erica Bell
David Solie has written a remarkable book - "How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communications Gap with our Elders."
Robert W. Griffith

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

90 of 91 people found the following review helpful By Erica Bell on March 16, 2006
Format: Paperback
It's shocking that this book is being marketed merely to professionals who must deal with the vagaries of the senior personality. It's simply the best book on the subject I've read. The author has a huge heart for seniors and those who work with them--professionals, certainly, but also neighbors, friends, children, grandchildren.

If you're looking for a book on how to manhandle or finesse the elderly into doing what you want (even for their own good), then this isn't for you. Solie explains the new goals seniors face as they contemplate their lives--often alone, as peers and spouses die--and the twin conflicting motivations they must wrangle with--the need for control, and the need to let go. Walking us through their worlds--a world that, if we're honest, we can't but guess at--Solie gently prods us to reevaluate WHY we are communicating so poorly, and how we can improve. In the end, it is we who must change, especially our instinct to bully the senior into a more comfortable situation (usually for US, but as always, "for their own good").

Respect, love, sympathy, and cheer shine out of his writing and text. I read it in one sitting, and found myself in tears. Why didn't I have this book when my mother was still alive?
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43 of 44 people found the following review helpful By Robert W. Griffith on October 28, 2004
Format: Paperback
David Solie has written a remarkable book - "How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communications Gap with our Elders." It's aimed squarely at baby boomers who are attempting to handle the difficulties, frustrations, and guilt they feel as they try to achieve effective communication with their elders. Such attempts often fail because of the different agendas held by the middle-aged and the elderly. Mr Solie has unearthed two principal motives in elderly people's verbal and non-verbal behavior - to maintain control over their lives, and to discover their legacy, or how they will be remembered.

The book's approach is logical. Theory is presented, examples of miscommunication are provided, and solutions (or, at the very least, reasonable alternative approaches) are offered. Mr Solie suggests that the reader looks first at the sections that most directly apply to a particular situation, and then returns to the theoretical underpinnings for adapting their behavior. Everyone - whatever age - can relate to the examples chosen, and I submit that everyone can learn from the solutions offered. The writing is clear, simple, and pithy. I particularly liked the apt quotations used in the chapter headings. As a 73-year-old, I cannot recommend this book too highly.
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46 of 50 people found the following review helpful By Rod Hagenbuch on August 31, 2004
Format: Paperback
I have read over thirty book offering advice to professionals in the Securities and Planning industry in the last couple of years. This book is by far the most important book I have read. It provides critical advice on how to deal with some of advisors most important clients. Using Solie's advice can help advisors impact peoples lives far beyond their money. Communication with older people has been some of the most difficult conversations I have had professionally and within my own family. I only wish I had read this book when my Mother was still alive.
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28 of 29 people found the following review helpful By Donald S. Singer on September 6, 2007
Format: Paperback
By profession I am an estate planner. I have ushered both parents from this earth after confronting their very real crises in their search for answers in what their limited future would hold for them.

Mr. Solie addresses our frustrations in communicating with the elderly. I am embarassed at my annoyance with my parents for what was their pain. A pain I could not feel because I did not understand.

Mr. Solie's concept is simple: Our "problem" with seniors and their quirks is their search for a peace of mind at life's end. This revelation elevates an obligation of a child in putting up with "irrational" seniors to the act of offering them a path to mental balance. Put this way, the relationship approaches being a holy task.

More than this, understanding Mr. Solie's insight, offers all of us a guide to our own search for meaning in lives that often turned out much different than we thought they would.
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25 of 27 people found the following review helpful By Charles D. Hayes on October 25, 2004
Format: Paperback
Every now and then a new work comes along that once you read it-it forever changes the way you see the world. "How To Say It To Seniors" is one of those rare books. If everyone having a communication problem with their elders or even juniors for that matter were to read this book, an enormous cloud of noxious frustrated miscommunication would lift from America like the sudden clearing of a heavy fog-a fog of despair.

This book was written in part to help business professionals in dealing with seniors, but it is also profoundly useful in helping baby boomers communicate successfully with their aging parents. If you are experiencing a communications disconnect with an elder or know someone who is, then this advice will have a very positive impact of your life. "How To Say It To Seniors" gets the highest recommendation that I can give along with the full realization that it has the potential to save you from a lifetime of regret. Here is a chance to communicate with your elders while there is still time. I hope this books winds up on the best-seller list and remains there, the world will be a much better place for it.
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More About the Author

David Solie is an author, educator, speaker, and thought leader in the area of geriatric and intergenerational communication. His book How To Say It To Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders is a landmark text that has been read and reread by legions of baby boomers searching for a better approach to working with their parents and other older adults. It offers unique insights and proven, practical communication strategies that help professionals and laypersons alike interact more compassionately and effectively with older adults.

David Solie is a gifted speaker whose keynote and breakout presentations on communication between generations have won critical acclaim from audiences throughout the United States and Canada. His compelling stories, unique insights, humor, compassion, and inspirational delivery have made him a favorite of financial advisors, attorneys, accountants, senior service professionals, planned giving specialists, caregivers, and general audiences.

David Solie is a graduate of the University of Washington, University of Manitoba, the University of Colorado Medical School, and practiced a number years in family medicine as a licensed physician assistant.

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