The latest in the popular How to Say It series, "How To Say It To Your Kids "offers wise comments and effective comebacks to help today's busy and beleaguered parents answer questions, encourage dialogue, explore feelings, and teach values--with ease and confidence. Dr. Paul Coleman, a family therapist and father, reveals the six fundamental approaches to talking with children. Forming the mnemonic TENDER--Teach, Empathize, Negotiate, Do's & Don'ts, Encourage, and Report--these six basic ways of communicating cover every conceivable issue of concern. Each chapter consists of practical, how-to advice based on various scenarios, "Smart Talk" sidebars-new insights to the issues important to parents, and helpful "Rules of Thumb--"short but sweet tips, such as: The best reward for a child is a responsive parent Don't respond with a tone of voice more intense than your child's If anxiety is high, it is not a time to lecture or give advice Here's the reference manual parents will want to turn to again and again as their children age and new problems, and tougher questions, emerge. Loaded with ready-o-use-information, a puzzled or frustrated parent can come away with a new idea or strategy that can be instantly applied.
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
Family therapist Coleman, author of The 30 Secrets of Happily Married Couples and other self-help titles, turns his attention to parenting issues with this potpourri of tips. Using the mnemonic TENDER (teach, emphasize, negotiate, dos & don'ts, encourage, and report), Coleman covers 100 topics, arranged alphabetically, starting with adoption and ending with "worried child." Each short chapter opens with an anecdote, followed by related factual information, a section on how to respond to your child on the subject, and a warning section on how not to respond. Some entries also contain boxed "Smart Talk" tips that cite current research. While some problems are specific ("estrangement from extended family" or "new step sibling") others, such as "dawdling," or "self confidence" will be useful to all parents. Coleman's approach is generally sound, but since each topic requires a unique responseAeven while incorporating one or more aspects of the TENDER motifAreaders won't detect a set pattern to follow. And while parents will benefit from Coleman's advice to speak calmly and employ the TENDER elements, the A to Z format may give too much leeway for skipping topics, causing readers to come away from this reference manual without a firm grasp on the author's method. (Oct.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
About the Author
Paul Coleman is a psychologist, a family therapist, and a father of three grade-school children. The author of five acclaimed books, including Getting to the Heart of the Matter and Life's Parachutes, he has appeared on the Oprah and Geraldo shows, plus dozens of regional television and radio programs. He lives in Poughkeepsie, New York.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Introduction, 1st part of the book:
Smart Talk: The Six Ways We Speak to Our Kids
Smart Talk: The Six Ways We Speak to Our Kids
Some of the many issues discussed in this book on "How to Say It To Your Kids" includes (2nd part of the book):
Apologies
Chores
Dawdling
Defiance and Disrespect
Drugs and Alcohol
Eat Your Vegetables! Clean Your Room!
Hitting
Internet Concerns
Lying
Manipulative Behavior
Pets
Sharing
Swearing
Violence and Sexual Material in Television and Movies
Whiny and Demanding Child
3rd part of the book
:
When You Say It Right (But Things Still Go Wrong): Ten Winning Tips for Troubleshooters
For each issue a child may face, the book lists things to consider about the issue, things to say or don't say to child and other infomation that may apply to the issue.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
As a child care center director and education professor, I have been looking for a book to recommend to parents, staff, and education students. Not a day goes by without someone coming to me for advice about how to respond to a child's question, or comment on a touchy subject. "How to Say it to Your Kids," will be perfect.
Reading the material found in Dr. Coleman's book will give adults solid advice and preparation for how to handle the difficult situations that come up daily. Rather than answering children in anger, or responding with silence, this book gives excellent, concrete suggestions, as well as reminders of "how not to say it." It is written in easy to understand language, but provides depth and sound professional reasoning.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Hardcover
The many sections called "What Not to Say" were an eye-opener. When I showed some of the ideas to my husband he really found it helpful because instead of talking in general ideas, every chapter is loaded with specific examples of the best way to talk to your kids. I figure that about half of the 100 situations in this book apply to my life right now. Another thirty or so will probably be relevant in another year when my kids are a little older. Terrific job!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
By MIKE HOLDEN
Format:Paperback
THIS BOOK IS VERY INFORMATIVE FOR PARENTS/CARGIVERS OF CHILDREN OF ALL AGES. IT COVERS A WIDE VARIETY OF TOPICS WITH GOOD ADVICE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH ALMOST ANY KIND OF SUBJECT THAT A CHILD FACES ON A DAILY BASIS. IT SEEMS AS THOUGH DR. COLEMAN HAS TOUCHED ANY SUBJECT THAT I COULD THINK OF, FROM SANTA CLAUS TO DEATH AND DYING. I HAVE FOUND THIS BOOK VERY INFORMATIVE AND HAVE RECOMMENDED IT TO SEVERAL FRIENDS.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I am really pleased with this book and know I will use it for many years to come. The format is easy to read and reference and the answers are simple but intelligent. I recommend this book to any parent or caregiver that is at a loss for words when their child asks a tough questions and you want to be certain to answer it correctly.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Value Education has been the buzz of the system with the New Gen' kids. Paul's Book is highly appreciated and recommended in India too coz one of the reputed School has gone for the Translation of the book into Gujarati language so as to use the same as a Guide for Teachers and Parents for development of kids. In a busy world, today's Parents face a tough time upbringing the kids with value education. Adults play a major role in promoting physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual well being of a child. Dr. Paul Coleman present six fundamental formula on how to interact with kids with smart talk on basic topics concerning kids issues. With the ever rising cases of divorce, drug abuse, sexual harrassments, etc. Paul provides practical tips on how to tackle debated discussions with kids and provide value education. His main focus is centered on six topics i.e. Teach, empathize, Negotiate, Do's n Don'ts, Encourage and Report. Kids sort for various practices and throw tantrums at times, lying, adopting manipulative behavioural patterns, hooking to wrong activities n distracting from the innocence of childhood life. Situations arise when parents fail to understand the kids and unable to cope up providing answers to their curiousity driven question. Paul's book is handy at these times and provides a very useful resource and parental feedback. Parents and teachers need such 'Expert' advice and counselling to upbring kids as sound being. A good pick for every parent, teachers too!
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Parents receive a manual packed with the basics on how to begin a discussion with a child about divorce, drugs, sex, and other subjects. The focus is on discussions which enhance family values: from questions about God to allowances and parental or family problems such as addiction, How To Say It To Your Kids covers a wide range of situations which are hard to talk about.
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Parents receive a manual packed with the basics on how to begin a discussion with a child about divorce, drugs, sex, and other subjects. The focus is on discussions which enhance family values: from questions about God to allowances and parental or family problems such as addiction, How to Say It to Your Kids covers a wide range of situations which are hard to talk about.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Helpful
I needed all the help I could get and this book was very helpful... The price was right and it shipped very fast!!!
Published 4 months ago by Tasha Pharr
2.0 out of 5 stars
Not what I expected
Too simplistic for my needs. Also I misunderstood, thinking there was help for interacting with toddlers, there really isn't, it's more grade school and up. Read more
Published on October 28, 2010 by Kakky Lane
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