How to Say It to Teens: Talking about the Most Important Topics of Their Lives [Paperback]

Richard Heyman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 31, 2001

A parents' survival guide for raising teens -- a new addition to the popular How to Say It "RM" series.

Raising teens is one of the greatest responsibilities in life. It is also one of the most challenging. So how are parents to cope -- especially with the ever-growing social pressures that today's teens face? Dr. Richard Heyman has the answer: with the right communication skills, almost any problem parents face with their teenage children can be overcome.

Offering the same practical how-to information that has made the popular How to Say It "RM" series so successful, this important reference teaches parents how to talk to their teens not only as a parent, but as a friend and advisor. One hundred and one A-to-Z topics cover the most common and contentious issues facing teens and their parents. Chapters range from difficult topics such as contraception, pregnancy, tattoos and body piercing, curfews, sex, and drugs to more mundane matters such as budgeting, careers, money, and friends. Based on real-life scenarios, each chapter serves as an instant resource for:
-- Words and phrases to use and those to avoid
-- Techniques for starting conversations on important issues
-- Getting teens to think openly about each action and its consequences
-- Ways to offer advice in the right way at the right time

Including self tests, sample dialogues and checklists that will help parents assess their own communication skills, How to Say It to Teens is of critical importance to ensuring family harmony, parental sanity, and the emotional and physical well-being of teens.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Heyman (Why Didn't You Say That in the First Place?) begins his latest volume with an awkwardly written introduction, but swiftly segues into heartfelt and genuinely practical advice. Nudging readers to be involved, love, listen, withhold judgment and never give up, he presents his guidance in the form of a "cookbook," with communication "recipes" arranged alphabetically from "anger" to "violence." Parents wary of addressing difficult topics (contraception, curfews, peer pressure) with their teens will find plenty of tips, including specific questions to jump-start conversations, words to employ and phrases to avoid. Heyman, a communications and education professor at the University of Calgary who has parented three adolescent children of his own, is perceptive about teens' thoughts and feelings noting, for instance, that they care more about what their friends think about their clothing than about their parents' tastes. If attire is an issue, he says, focus on cost rather than style and accept the fact that teens need to dress like their peers. Other issues addressed include the need for independence (parents should learn how to give up control), privacy (don't be too nosy) and the Internet (be involved and knowledgeable). On the timely topic of bullies, Heyman counsels parents to explain that bullying only gets worse if not addressed. Parents seeking the "right" words will be grateful for Heyman's forthright approach and encouraging tone. This book should help many parents to maintain or initiate healthy dialogues with their adolescents. Agents: Pat and Mike Snell. (Aug.)Forecast: Part of the popular How to Say It series, this guide to one of parenting's toughest challenges will find a wide and grateful readership.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Richard Heyman, Ed.D. is a Professor of Communication and Education at the University of Calgary. He is the author of Why Didn’t You Say That in the First Place and has successfully parented his own three children through their teenage years.

Product Details

• Paperback: 442 pages
• Publisher: Prentice Hall Press (July 31, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0735201889
• ISBN-13: 978-0735201880
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 7 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.8 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #376,247 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Few Words about How To Say It To Teens!, August 12, 2001

By 

Barbara L Cooke , Editor and Publisher, The P... (Deerfield, IL United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Say It to Teens: Talking about the Most Important Topics of Their Lives (Paperback)

Have you stood there one too many times with your mouth open, speechless, unable to communicate with your teenager? Tired of hearing lame responses spew out of your mouth?

Once you read "How To Say It To Teens", you'll be able to say "it" and sound like a genius. "It" encompasses 88 crucial topics (from A to V!) that affect most kids as they pass through junior high, high school and college. From anger and appearance, dating and discipline, to stress and studying, values and violence, Richard Heyman spells out what to say and, equally important, what not to say to your teenager.

After reading his book, you'll be amazed at how much easier it becomes to have a conversation with your son or daughter. The next time they crank up their stereo so loud that the windows are reverberating, you bang on their bedroom door and, when the door swings open, you will be thinking, "Turn that [music] down now! Your music stinks! This is my house!" But, instead, you might find yourself shouting (politely, of course, to be heard above the pounding bass), "I'm sure you didn't mean to play your music so loud that it bothers everyone else. How about turning it down a little or listening with your headphones?" It could happen, you know. And your teen might even yell back (politely, of course, to be heard above the pounding bass), "Sorry. I didn't mean to play it so loud. I'll turn it down right away!" Now try the 87 other topics. You'll love this book. I wouldn't say "it" unless I meant "it".

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Leaving the genre behind, August 24, 2001

By 

Sydney Sharpe (Calgary) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Say It to Teens: Talking about the Most Important Topics of Their Lives (Paperback)

Dr. Heyman's book is packed with useful advice on how to deal with nearly every parent-teen issue, from sex to drugs. alcohol and body jewellery. I found almost all the chapters to be helpful. Most of all, though, I admired the author's deep humanity, and his insistence that as long as love endures, and parents communicate that love to their children, there is hope even when problems seem very grave. Dr. Heyman's recounting of the difficult teenage years of one of his own children is touching and beautifully written.This is a remarkable book that rises far above its genre.

8 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent book I would read and look back on for advice, November 26, 2001

By 

A Customer - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Say It to Teens: Talking about the Most Important Topics of Their Lives (Paperback)

The author did a wonderful job of explaining how to communicate to your teen by discussing the 5 principles of communicaiton which inculdes a parent-teenager communication skills self-inventory. For each topic, it begins with a scenario, gives suggesstions on things to consider, 3 things you must do, What to say and do, Words and phrases to use, What not to say, and Words and phrases to avoid. There are 88 topics in this book. Some of the topics are: Chores, Communication, Curfews, Discipline, Drinking, Drugs, Honesty, Morals, Needs and Wants, Peer Pressure, Punctuality, Sex, Values, and Violence.